It has the same edge to it, and all of those qualities, just a different cast. I think its not gonna be quite the same. What people have to remember, you know, when chevy left, we thought the shows gonna go downhill, and that was all over then belushi emerged, and after john you emerged. Yeah, and after john and i left, we figured you know, people figured, oh, its all over. Billy murray came out. After billy, eddie murphy came out. After eddie left, we had chris guest, joe piscopo, martin short who are they . [ laughter ] second city guys . Yeah, so you know, the its the new staff, and we have to support them. Yeah. Its americas serious guy here. Its amazing. Premiere sketch institution. Its the premiere institution for doing that type of scenes and the repertory has to grow. Lets talk about the film. What was the question i asked . I forgot. I dont remember. Freddyfreddy is going like this, which i assume means funny we have a as the guests normally want to do on this show, usually bring along a film clip to plug their endeavors. Did you bring one . Is the scene were gonna see in norway . Is it in morocco . Which one is it . This is a scene, i think training sequence. Is this training or exam . Training, training. Well, chevy and i in this movie play two guys who are buried in government service. Hes stuck in a stale cubicle over at the state department. Im in subsubbasement d25 at the pentagon where guys who have ambitions and dreams, who want to advance and were just stuck in bureaucracy, so we both walk in and write the examination, and we cheat on the exam and are for a horrible dirtbag intelligence mission. And here it is, the training sequence for all intelligence operatives. The clip is not as long as the setup, but here it is. This will verify your ability to stay afloat at high speeds. [ engine starting ] [ yelling ] air force passive strain response. You will not be required to exert yourself at all, only to survive aggravated body temperature measurement. Woah ow, ow, ow hot, hot, hot we will now determine your gforce threshold. Just relax, gentlemen. I guess we just sit here . [ whirring ] [ whirring intensifies ] [ applause ] want some coffee . Thats a good idea. You should do that line again. [ applause ] i dont think the audience i dont think they heard that last line. What was the last . Lets do the last line. Ready . Uhhuh. Want some coffee . Want some coffee . Thats a good idea. Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Lets go. So, its a thinking mans comedy. Yes, i can see. Funny, funny clips there. Yeah, it should bod it should be good. We had a lot of fun doing it. John landis directed it. He brought us trading places and blues brothers, and so its an a product film. Theres no question about it. Ive done em a, ive done em b. This is an a. [ applause ] you guys get the same amount of money for this, when you do a picture like this . Well, uh, i think whatd you get . I, uh, i took my pay in jumpsuits. Ii look, i we both are highly underrated. Highly underpaid. And were underpaid, yeah. Hows your baby . Six months old now . Now shes a year. Shes oh, no, shes not a year. Shes ten months. Mmhmm. Every ten months, she i go a year. You were telling me last time how bright she was at six months. That was shes amazing. Right now shes walking. Shes doing a modeling over at ford. [ laughing ] and she just finished a calculus course at the university of houston, texas. Shell be married next year to, uh, webster. [ laughter ] have you started looking around one of my writers, mike barry, has got a child, just put in kindergarten or preschool, and the child had to go audition or have a meeting to see if he or she could get into the school, because people want to get their children in early. Sometimes people before the kid is born now actually go to schools to see if their kid have you done this . Yeah, we have, actually. This is the technique, of course, in england. You know, eton and oxford, you register the child prebirth. Absolutely. What do you say . Take a look at this. Itd be a nice kid, huh . You have no children yet . Not as yet. I mean, as far as he knows. Maybe in the cards in a little while. Donna and i are, of course, very busy working on these thinking mans comedies. Of course. So, uh, but, you know, i think the gene structure is gonna hold up here. Well, we certainly hope so. The picture you referred to is spies spies like us. Espions commes nous in french. [ laughter ] nice to know. Well be right back. [ music ] [ applause ] all right. What a couch. Well, if you watch late night with David Letterman first the show, folks. Now the book. Yeah. He and Merrill Markoe put out a very funny book based and were gonna hold him responsible for it, too. Its gonna air tomorrow night at 11 30, called David Lettermans holiday film festival. Would you welcome David Letterman . [ cheers and applause ] [ music ] [ indistinct chatter ] thank you very much. Oh, its a magic night for amer sorry. Stick around, boys. Were not gonna pay the band. [ laughter ] by golly, what a thrilling night for all of us. Oh, yeah, did you have a nice thanksgiving . Very nice, thank you. How about you . Im stuffed. You know, its tradition at our house every year we have the roast swan. Its great. The i love to see the kids fight over the neck. Its fun. [ laughter ] now, uh thank you for coming on. Thank you very much our pleasure. Good to see you, dave. Thanks. Nice to see you, chevy. You gotta run . [ laughter ] now you mentioned the book. Yes, i did. Lets dont beat it to death. Let me see the book. I was originally this was gonna turn out to be a really nice thing. Oh, by the way, can you see this . Take a look at all that color. Ooh. This, actually, johnny, should be on your coffee table. Its that quality. You know what they did . They printed 40,000 copies of this thing, and there are three pages of pictures th stooge press put this out. Its a division of goofball publishing, and, uh you know, even the lowest publication gets captions with the pictures. Hustler magazine has captions, you know . Of course. Here the twins show how they make friends in prison. Yeah, thats good, okay. Um. So we dont let me see that. I want to look at it. No, itll come back to haunt us all. I was looking at that book this afternoon and it was very amusing. Well, yeah, theres some funny stuff, but i just dont want to talk about it. Anyway, they screwed up the first 40,000, and they they got some kind of deal. You get a rebate. I dont know, or somebody will come to your home and read it to you. I dont know. Is this and expensive tome if i wish to purchase this . Its like 8 bucks, 9 bucks. We like to think of it as another tale of two cities, johnny. Good, good. But i dont want to talk about the book. [ laughter ] ive seen into the future of transportation. Ive peeked into the 21st century. Oh . Thats right. Through the aviation miracle of the airbus. Thats right, the airbus. Now, this is a delightful airplane. It was designed and built by the french and the germans. Yes. And i think we all know what a loving and cooperative relationship those people have. Um. Its, uh, its called the airbus because one, it in fact looks like a bus. Yes. Two, it for sure smells like a bus. Now, hereheres the difference. The airbus is not quite as fast as a real bus. Does it have the strap handles, too . That kind of stuff, absolutely. Like, Ralph Kramden is flying in this thing. Is this a cheap oh, jesus, unbelievable, but its so slow. Like, if you fly on a regular plane, 747, new york to la. What, are we talking about, five and half . If youre late, maybe five 5 45 . Even six hours. The airbus, from new york to la, six hours and fortyfive minutes. Unbelievable, i mean, johnny, the whole trip, we were like this. Whats fu i dont know what it gets, but the motto of course for the airbus is of course, jet lags not a problem if you dont get there. [ laughter ] the wings. You can look out and the wings are flapping. Yeah, that kinda deal. Now, uh, youre saying to yourself, jeez, dave, this is fascinating, but who would fly the airbus . Yeah. And i looked around and my observation was they got a contract with the government for transfer of prisoners, one. That would do it. Cant afford trailways. And three, would be serial killers. Yeah, now so im sitting not a pleasant trip. No, im sitting next to the yammering psychopath, and the guy keeps dozing off on my shoulder, and he wakes up long enough to tell me that that very morning he had been released or paroled from prison. So im thinking, oh, boy. I can hardly wait. Seven hours on a plane with a guy who has a grudge against society. You know . [ laughter ] so now its dinnertime, and they bring around the airbus snack, and its like this. Its absolutely sealed, and you think, well, this will be nice. Like, i dont know, a day in the country. A little picnic. You pry it open with like a fire axe, and inside. [ laughter ] honest to god, they got like vanilla wafers and a container of hot mustard. Nice. Yeah, cause after all, it is the holidays. Thats right. So, now [ applause ] so in the middle of this now. If this had been a fishing trip, youd call the captain and say, oh, im sorry. Somebody put the chum in here with my lunch. Not a pleasant trip. Im not done yet. Oh, i see. You wanna give me a nod when you are . Um i feel like george burns. So, uh, the plane was designed for people who dont fly much. Right. And, in fact, for people who dont even know where the airport is. So they keep flashing this sign, lor you know, thats their way of saying, all right, we know the food is damn near inedible, but apparently it can be digested. [ laughter ] [ booing ] im getting close to booed there. Thats right. So you go into the lavatory, which, by the way, is sloped. The interior wall is sloped like the outside of the plane, so whatever you have to do in there is a hookshot. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] so, uh so . So you bring back the lid on the toilet, and theres a sign that says do not place metal or glass objects in the toilet. Yeah. Which always ruins the trip for me. I like to go up there [ laughter ] ill wash a load of dishes if i can. [ laughter ] [ indistinct chatter ] its a true story. Does that about wrap up the airbus . Were done with the airbus. Were done with the airbus. Now, look, lets do now, we have we havent talked about this highly advertised special of yours tonight. You know, i just wanted to take a few minutes here, john, to talk about nbc. [ laughter ] first of all, this slogan. Originally it was be there. Nbc be there. Okay, they bring in a guy, the head of promotion here at nbc, paid him at least a half a million dollars. Thats the truth. He and another guy. He was making about a half a million. He decides to change because hes thinking maybe theres some people in montana who are saying to themselves, when they see this promotion come on nbc, theyre saying, hmm, jeez, id like to watch, but are we included . [ laughter ] so lets all be there. No, nbc is looking for a very exclusive group of viewers. Not everyone is eligible. [ laughter ] so this guy changes it to lets all be there. The slogan really ought to be, you know in the old days when nbc wasnt doing that great, it was nbc were easy to spell. And i thought that was good. So that, now watch out, pbs. Were coming after you. Thats right. So what are we doing here . You better plug this special. Oh, i gotta get to the special. Yeah. Heres the deal. Six weeks ago, nbc comes up to me, they say, don, are you still with the network . I say, yes, i am. [ laughter ] and they said, we have we have an opening for a show november 30, 11 30. Would you like to do it . We did a show. We got a lotta people to make movies, and theyre gonna come and show their movies. It turned out pretty nicely. We shall return in just a moment. [ music ] all right, before we say goodnight, all you people in montana also are invited. Yeah, everybodys included, sure. That is tomorrow night. 11 30. Uh, bette midler, harry shearer, michael keaton, andrea martin. Lets all be there. They all made films and theyll be on the show. I hear its great stuff. Yeah, it turned out pretty nicely. Tomorrow. All right, thank you, chevy, dan, and barry. Thanks for being with us. Good night. Attention are you eligible for medicare . 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Because ive had enough humiliation to last me a lifetime, good the cupidgram. Helen and lynch, theyre getting married. What . I think i said that pretty clearly. Listen helen, i just want to say congratulations again. You know, im sure that you and davis will be really happy. Yep, we are. Oh come on, joey, talk to me. Yow audience laughter whistling [joe] morning. D with helen last night and all you can say is, morning . Those are for helen. Is that a heart . Are you making heartshaped pancakes . Theyre her favorite. Joe, i want you to wipe that inane grin off your face. Tell me, how you and helen ended up in bed together. You broke my heart. Look, i dont know how it happened. She was on her way to new york, she stopped by here last night on the way to the airport i meant the travel iron. Oh, all right. Go on, go on. Well, you know, theres not much more to say. You know, we wished each other luck, gave each other a kiss goodbye and fell into bed like dogs. audience laughter boy, huh . You and helen . All these years, you two guys parading around as friends, this hot steaming passion raging underneath the surface. Smoldering, sexual tinderbox just waiting for a spark slept alone again last night, huh . Oh yeah. Good. Brian, dont give up on alex. You know, theres still a chance it could work out. Im not really worried, ive actually come up with a great plan to get her back. Every time she goes out for the morning paper, ill be there. Every time she goes out to lunch, ill be there. Every time she pulls the shades down at night, ill be there. And every time you come up for parole, ill be there. Look man, let me give you just a little bit of advice. I dont know no, trust me on this one. Look, last night, helen was this close to marrying lynch. This morning, she is eating at joes. You know why . Because i played it cool. Bye joe, thanks for the travel iron. Hey helen, where are you going . New york, to see davis. Why . Hes my fiance. Helen, wait. Joe . Undies. audience laughter okay, breakfast is here. What took you so long . About time. I ordered the muffin. They were out, so instead i got you a bear claw. I ordered the scrambled eggs. They were out, so instead i got you a bear claw. Mines easy, i ordered the bear claw. Fay got the last one, so i got you toast. audience laughter she goes off to new york, marries a rich guy in a penthouse, we gotta scrounge for our breakfast every morning. Oh, well i think its wonderful that helens finally getting married. And i bet theres going to be a really fancy society wedding. I cant wait to go. Yeah, me neither. Ive got to get my tux back from my cousin giacomo. Oh, i forgot, he buried his father in it. audience laughter maybe i could better just rent a new one. What makes you think shes gonna want you two there . Why wouldnt she . Oh, youre gonna have a lot in common with her rich friends. Mr. Gold card, meet mr. Green card. audience laughter of course well be invited, wont we . Oh absolutely, were her friends. A friends from work table, isnt there . audience laughter oh yeah, theyll have us hidden in some dark corner where everyone kicks our chairs on the way to the can. Thats right, thats right. And the only time helen will talk to me is when she needs someone to dance with her fat aunt rose. I never get the hot cousin, you know. Its always me and the 300 pound woman in support hose doing the hokeypokey. Well, it didnt take very long for money to turn her pretty little head. Listen, im telling you right now, your fat aunt dance alone. You bet, bye. Chapel, what are you still doing here . I thought you left last night. Oh well, you know it was the funniest story. Get this, i didnt. Roy, whens your next flight to new york . Well, its the funniest story. Get this, its sold out. [helen] bump somebody. Maybe i could bump somebody. This engagement really agrees with you, ally not glowing. Theres absolutely no reason to glow. You know, chapel, shes right. You look kind of flushed. No, no, im really not. Helen, you know, you look please dont say im glowing. No, you look like you just did sex. audience laughter chuckles no, im just glowing. But since youre here i can give it to you now. I made a little engagement present for you. And i did a little crossstitching last night. Helen and davis forever. chuckling forever. Thanks lowell, ill treasure it always. Now lowell, i think thats just amazing. How did you ever do that in one night . Well, i have to admit i didnt do it by myself. Roy, wheres the ticket already . Its coming, it coming. Just like the rich, everythings got to be now, now, now. audience laughter well, well, if it isnt the blushing bride herself. You know, if one more person says that im blushing or that im glowing, im gonna kick them right in the reverend sanders, hello how are you . Fine, i was so happy to hear youre getting married. You know, id be honored if youd let me perform the ceremony. Fat chance, shes probably booked billy graham. audience laughter after all, ive known you ever since you were a little girl. I can still see you sitting in church in your pretty white dress, bible clutched in your little hands. The very picture of innocence. Thats really sweet of you. Im going straight to hell. Helen, dont leave, we have got to talk about this. Joe, theres nothing to talk about. Roy, the ticket, thank you. Nothing, nothing. Roy, could you please give me my damn ticket . In a second. What did happen last night . [helen] nothing. Helen, look, listen to me. You cannot just run out on me like this. Joe, would you quit making such a big deal about this . What we did last night was just sex, it was nothing else. It was just sex thats all it was, sex audience laughter well, dont i feel the perfect fool . Hahat we had last night was a lot more than just sex. Joe . I have two words for you, civil ceremony. Well, call me oldfashioned, but in my day, the night you got engaged, you slept with your fiance. Aeromass announces the departure of flight 19 think you can make it, chapel . audience laughter look joe, i have to go. No, you cant go. Weve got to talk about this. Give me the ticket. Joe, what are you doing . I have to go. Hey, just talk to me, helen. Am i crazy or did something incredible happen last night . Yeah, that. That was two old friends saying goodbye. Yeah well, when my friend bill left the island, we just shook hands. Nobody dug their nails in anyones back. audience laughter joe, last night was a big mistake, thats all it was. I am engaged to davis. What, just because we spend one night together i was supposed to forget about him . Yeah. Joe, what do you want from me . Helen, you cant leave. What about us . What, us . We tried us years ago, we broke up. Oh, all couples break up. We fought all the time. All couples fight. I drove my jeep through your office. Look, all couplesyeah, you did. What the hell were you thinking . Im marrying davis, goodbye. Wait helen, listen to me. If you were so sure about him, last night never wouldve happened. Last night never happened. How can you say that . Thats my story and im sticking to it. All right, okay. T in the eye and honestly tell me that you love him, ill step aside. I love him. Let me put that a different way. audience laughter joe, i really want this. So if you care about me, if you want to see me happy, if you love me, arding call for flight 19 to new york. Look, glad you guys are still here. I didnt have much time for the alterations, but, let me be the first to congratulate you. Bye, joe. Bye, helen. You okay . Do i look okay . audience laughter how you doing, huh . Ive been better. Would you like to talk about it, dear . No. No, fay really, not right now. You sure . Im a good listener. The last thing he needs is a bunch of people yammering his ear off with a lot of cliche advice. Hey, thanks. But you know, time heals all wounds. Theres a lot of fish in the sea. Whatever doesnt kill you, makes you stronger. All right, all right, look, look. I know its tough, but you cannot let it get to you. Alex . What about her . When i gassed up her chopper this morning, she gave me a letter to give you. I cant read it, you read it. Okay. audience laughter okay, dear brian, by the time you read this, ill be gone gone . What does she mean gone . Im leaving the island for good. But it would be a big mistake, even though youre the most handsome man ive ever known. She said that . I threw that in. audience laughter you looked like you needed some good news with the bad. Please dont try to find me, its better this way. And always remember, brian, i love you. Her. What the heck, i dont say it enough either. sighs my god. Alex is really gone. Hey, come on, you were right. If it wasnt meant to be, it wasnt meant to be. Dont hand me those platitudes, you sanctimonious bag of wind. My life is over. I i cant believe alex is gone. Oh my god, helens getting married. What am i gonna do . You . What about me . May i Say Something . You two make me sick. Shes gone, shes getting married. Big shot pilots moaning about losing your girlfriends. You, with your cool leather jackets and your flyboy charms. I got an idea. Try picking up a woman after 15 hours in a hot, stuffy cab wearing sweat stained, outofdate clothes and a coin changer on your belt. audience laughter you know, i never thought about it before, but hes absolutely right. Yeah, his life is pathetic. No, no, i mean about us. What are we moaning about . Hackett brothers, we got a lot going for us. We do . Who left a string of broken hearts at sconset high . Hackett brothers . [joe] yeah. And who had their choice of any Flight Attendant in boston . The hackett brothers. [joe] exactly. So why are we gonna be okay . Because were the hackett brothers. Youre damn right. From now on, were gonna have more women than we ever dreamed of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hot latin women in tight black skirts. Sure yeah, big nordic blondes with no tan lines. Nasty french girls with pouty lips. Asian anchorwomen. Hey, well never have another meaningful relationship the rest of our lives. It wont matter, because hey, because well have each other, right . Well have each other. There well be two old men with big smiles and a lot of great memories. Oh, thats right, two fat happy old guys sitting there in front of the tv in our underwear, eating a couple of hungry man dinners. Yeah. Two unshaven old geezers with three inch fingernails, shouting about who left the cap off the vaporub. Mothers dragging their kids away from our house, saying, where are those plane keys, im going after helen. No, no, wait, i need those keys to get alex. Brian, look, she dumped you have a little selfrespect. What are you talking about . Youre the guy who nailed another guys fiancee, you slut. You dont even know where she is, what are you gonna do fly around the world with your head out the plane window yelling, alex . Yeah, that and drop leaflets. grunting bye, guys. Hey, theres the keys ive been looking for. T alex no, no, give them to me, im going after helen. These keys . [joe] yeah, give em. Whose keys . Get the key, get the key. Hold it, hold it, hold it, theres only one fair way to settle this. Joe, brian, what country formerly known as ceylon give me those. Its sri lanka, joe. Crack a book some time, pretty boy. [joe] helen, wait grunting joe . What are you doing here . Cant marry lynch. Ow. What is wrong with you . Just ran 25 blocks. Cab accident, not ahmeds fault. Take the weight off your knee. There you go, hope youre all right. Thanks. Helen, wait. Ow. grunting hey, arent these things supposed to open when you put your hand in them . Not while im pushing this button. [joe] helen, you cant marry lynch, youre making a big mistake. Would you get it through your thick skull . I am marrying him and theres nothing you can say to change that. [joe] marry me. audience laughter did you just ask me to marry you . Yes. grunts [helen] god take your time, think about it. Boy, just when i have my life all figured out, you come here and pull this stupid stunt. Then i get two in one day. Well three if you count the guy out front playing lovely bunch of coconuts on his lips. Helen, i you know, i know you dont want to hear this, but im marrying davis and thats that. Give me one good reason why. Oh honey, ill give you the best reason of all, he, asked me first. Thats what the most important decision of your life boils down to, firsties . Havent you . No, i took in a show. Cats. You did not. Admit it, you have doubts. Hey, i was at cats. Oh yeah, what does Rum Tum Tugger sing at the top of the second act . Feelings. Okay, so i walked around the block a few times. Everyone has doubts before they get married, but i know now that i have made up my mind and im sure about it. So joe, just go away. And honestly tell me that you dont love me, i will get off this elevator and out of your life. [helen] i dont love you. I gotta stop saying that. audience laughter helen, youre lying and you know it. Okay okay, i love you. Ive always loved you. Well what the hell kind of reason is that to get married . Well, its no he asked me first, but its the best i can do. Damn it, helen, when you walked out this morning, i felt all the life drain out of me. I sat at that counter and all i could think about is all the years wed known each other since we were kids. Weve already spent a lifetime together. Nobody knows me better than you, and no one knows you better than i do. How can you even think about marrying lynch . Its wrong. Having kids with him, growing old together, thats our marriage. Etime. Were supposed to be together. I love you, helen. I guess sometimes love just isnt enough, huh . Ask me again. Will you marry me . Oh, what the heck. cheering and applause i mean, all night, were stitching and sewing and stitching and sewing. And all day, theyre breaking up and getting back together, breaking up and getting back together. I tell you, its enough to make you give up needlepoint forever. There, i said it. Okay, all right, lets have a look. Lets see how this looks. All right, remove your thumb. No, the other thumb. Hackett, ive been meaning to ask you, how you doin about this alex thing . You feelin ok . Im fine, roy. I cant believe that even youre asking me. Oh, come on. You think i dont know the pain of a broken heart . That hollow feeling in your soul when you expect you find your wallets missing, there are dust bunnies where the stereo used to be. audience laughter well, i guess youve learned a lesson about love, huh . Oh, yeah. Always insure for replacement value. audience laughter jazzy piano music hi, check it out. Helens engagement ring. Whoah, very nice. audience laughter you have a ring fund . Yeah, ive been saving since seventh grade. Oh, chuckles that is so cute. audience laughter im just sorry i missed your sweet 16. audience laughter so when you gonna give it to her, huh . I got it all figured out. Im gonna do it tonight. Its the anniversary of our first kiss. Wait a second, you know the anniversary of your first kiss . I thought only women knew stuff like that. That is such a stereotype. Look, i asked her to marry me in a stupid elevator, i want tonight to be perfect. Elegant restaurant, orchestra playing. You know, itll be a great story to tell the kids some day. You know, like when dad proposed to mom on the beach there before he went off to the army. laughs yes, i think youre old enough to know the truth now. audience laughter there was no big, romantic proposal on the beach, my friend. In fact, i think dads exact words were, youre pregnant, howd that happen . audience laughter audience laughter men are all over the building. Morning. Hey, lowell, lowell. Check it out, helens engagement ring. What do think, there . Hmm, lets just take a look. audience laughter ahh, mcolor, i2 clarity, slight flaw in the girdle. What a clever inscription to my darling melon. Oh, i dont believe it. Melon, what a cute nickname. audience laughter you know, come to think of it, she does kind of have a melon for a head. audience laughter shes a lovely girl and all and you gotta be happy that shes not too selfconscious about that melon head. audience laughter lowell, listen, you gotta do me a big favor. Go down to sterlings, tell them to fix that inscription, so dont say anything to helen, alright . Joe, give me a little credit. Morning, lowell. Morning, melon. audience laughter now listen, helen, do not make any plans for tonight, i made reservations for us at lexingtons. Lexingtons . [joe] mmmhmm. Whats the occasion . No occasion, i just think the woman im going to marry deserves the very best. And since shes not gettin that, the least you can do is pop for a dinner. audience laughter now, tell me dear, how are you doing about alex . No, really . No, really im fine. No, really . Alright, fay, ill tell you. Really, i am miserable, i am crushed. In fact, im gonna go right up to the control tower and im gonna hang myself from the wind sock. audience laughter brian, thats crazy talk. That wind sock couldnt hold more than a hundred pounds. audience laughter helen . Uhhuh. laughing casey, hi. Hi. [helen] hi, hi. What are you doing here . What am i doing here . I came here to see you. You came all the way from california to see me . Come on, how often does my baby sister get married . So, when do i get to meet my future brotherinlaw . Where is this davis lynch . Yeah, well, what happened was. You must be so happy. Now you can move to a real city, you know, and finally dump this silly lunch counter. Oh, look, weve switched to the red naugahyde. Let me just tell you this. Is that joe hackett over there . Oh, yeah, figures hes still on the island and probably married the checkout girl at the local stop n shop. audience laughter chuckles you want to hear something really funny . I broke up with davis and im marrying joe. Oh, laughs you, my god, youre serious. audience laughter joe hackett . Yeah. The one with the rich husband, the big house in san francisco, the fancy french underwear. audience laughter how could you possibly know that . audience laughter security problem with your luggage. audience laughter hey, joe look whos here . Hi, joe. Casey, hi. So, joe, what have you been up to lately . Oh, well, im impressed. How many planes do you have . Well, right now just the one. So, maybe a more fitting name would be sandpiper airplane. fake laugh audience laughter you know, helen, i gotta tell you, you look fantastic. You changed your hair. Yeah, i did, you like it . Uh huh. You hate it, dont you . No, its just. [helen] i hate it too, its just not me. audience laughter fay, i want you to meet my sister, casey. Cassandra. Mom named me after a goddess in greek mythology. Oh, so are you named after helen of troy . No, actually i was named after my lactose intolerant aunt. audience laughter you know whats curious . You dont have a southern accent, like helen. I guess when you get out in the world, you kind of outgrow it. Besides, i never really had much of an accent. Sure you did. Yeah, you did. No, i didnt. [joe] yeah, you certainly did. Drop it, ok . audience laughter shes lovely. audience laughter so, joe, whatever happened to that little brother of yours . He used to be such a brat. Well, casey, like all the rest of us, brian has grown up now. As a matter of fact, hes my business partner. Hey, joey, check out this great water pistol i got out of lost and found. audience laughter oh, my god, casey chapel how are you, my god . audience laughter well, ive been dryer. laughs audience laughter casey, theres a towel right behind my counter. Oh, i better get rid of this thing. Somebodys gonna get hurt. audience laughter well, its the same old casey, huh . Shes not here two minutes, she insults your hair, your accent, and my airplane. She didnt mean anything by it. Like shes so perfect. Well, she is, i mean look at her, shes perfect. And youre not . You are every bit as beaut, no, more beautiful than casey. Uh, who is that goddess . audience laughter shes gorgeous. Stunning, venus in a damp blouse. audience laughter thats my sister. No way