Wait, a well, we know all of your youve been telling the truth. You about your marriages. Yeah. Youd be a very good candidate. First of all, the people trust you. You do the monologue, at the beginning. Your barometer of whats happen you would be a wonderful not a [ cheering ] order. Order, in the court. Now, wait, a second. Order, in the court. Ii said this, last time let this man talk. [ laughter ] i w im a not for a judge, because y you have to go to some school. That was another crazy thing how judge ginsburg was chosen. He had one year, on the court uh, you would think theres somebody would be a little better than that, you know. Ive been in court more than he has. [ laughter ] there you see . Right there. Ive had im talkin court experience. Well, itit nobody, i think, really, could, uh, survive that kind of, uh no, not that kind of scrutiny. Boy, thats tough. No. Thats really tough. Well take a break. Were comin back. Okay, heres this is this is a good night, for, uh, a new comedian, whos making his first appearance, because youreyoure in a good mood, and thats always helpful, to somebody who has not done this show, before. Uh, jeff is from, uh, originally, the state of wisconsin, and he performs [ applause ] like a lot of the, uh, young comedians, he performs frequently, at the improvisation, here in hollywood. And, uh so, would you welcome, please, jeff cesario . Jeff . . . [ cheering ] thank you, very much. My name is jeff cesario. I am, originally, from wisconsin. A couple other escapees here, tonight. [ cheering ] i been out here, four years, in california. Ive yet to go to the beach. [ some laughter ] too many blond people, at the beach, in calif i show up at a beach, out here, people go, who called a cab . [ laughter ] i prefer my sports indoors. I watch sports, on tv. My favorites probably basketball. On tv. I watch basketball on tv, cause i cannot believe the moves these guys make. I watch bowling, on tv, cause i cannot believe there is prize money involved. [ laughter ] what could possibly be less strenuous and more boring than bowling, on television . [ some laughter ] golf. Okay, golf. [ laughter ] ill confess, bein from wisconsin, ill watch golf, on tv, ya know, just to see really good weather. [ laughter ] but who is riveted to their seat, for a televised match . Who calls eight friends, gets a keg of beer . [ laughter ] landscapers, maybe, huh . [ applause ] [ cheering ] some sports i cannot watch, on tv. Theyre just too hard, for me. But tennis is hard to wa theres too many arguments, in tennis. Theyre always arguing whethes ine r out. Why dont they just make the outofbounds out of velcro . [ laughter ] [ applause ] i think, out of everybothk ths we have probably horses. You ever seen a horse run a race, live and in person . Beautiful animal. Although, they have the best incentive to win a race. Youre a horse, you win the kentucky derby, where do they send ya . Stud farm. Could shave a couple o seconds off our 100yard dash time, huh . [ laughter ] [ applause ] it woulda helped me, in high school. That olympian carl lewis in the lead wait, a second. From nowhere, 14yearold jimmy dougan [ laughter ] thats the only real thing we have left on television. Sports. Everything else, to me, is completely outta control. But people will believe it, if they see it on tv. On the Bermuda Triangle . And my friends believed it. We people disappear, without a trace, in the Bermuda Triangle. And these people who disappear you know where they are . Bermuda [ laughter ] who always disappears . Its always some poor guy with six kids in college, a huge mortgage, and a deadend job. Oh, he disappeared, in the Bermuda Triangle. [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah, we are losin touch with reality. I see things, every day, i cannot believe. I went shoppin for a watch. Ii go to a jewelry store. The guy shows me a rolex watch for 14,000. I told him, as far as im concerned, if you got 14 grand to blow on a watch, you can afford to be late. Okay . [ laughter ] [ cheering ] this i cant believe. I saw this i cannot believe that we need this. We have a new ziploc plastic bag you seen this . Where one side of the ziploc is yellow. The other sides blue, so, when you zip it together, you know its sealed, cause it turns green. [ some laughter ] oh, man. If you dont know a baggies closed, you dont deserve to eat fresh food, okay . [ laughter ] you should be in the bag. Youre the vegetable, at that point. [ laughter ] [ cheering ] uhoh. Im amazed by what people eat. Thats unbelievable to me, too. We have people who eat rhubarb, in this country. [ some laughter ] this is a weed were makin pie out of it. People always say, it tastes great, if ya add enough sugar. [ some laughter ] i got news for ya anything tastes great, if you add enough sugar. Leaves taste great, if you add enough sugar. You just make leaf pie just rake and bake. We dont [ laughter ] [ applause ] but thats what people are eatin healthier and healthier. Remotely healthy, about their product. That they can use, in the advertising. Its hysterical. Its like hostess twinkies theyre. Caffeine free [ laughter ] great name for a food, though twinkie. Thats the perfect food name. Look at that there is nothin else you could call that thing. [ laughter ] what could you possibly puff tube. No [ laughter ] creamfilled sponge rod. I dont no. [ laughter ] you know, they grabbed it out of thin air, too. Buncha guys, at the end of the day, at their wits end, sittin around a table i dunno what the hell to call it. Ronnie, what does you wife call you . dinky . lets see. dinkydinky . double dinky . two dinkies. twinkies boom, were outta here. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i do love to eat, though. Eating is just thats my favorite thing. I ca i just the worst meal i ever had airplane. On an air you ever eaten, on an airplane . They always put your silverware in this hermetically sealed, sanitized bag. Meanwhile, your foods been sittin next to the john, for an hour and a half. [ laughter ] [ cheering ] i think my least favorite food, that i can remember, is probably, uh stems from when i was a kid. Whenever we would go get ice cream cones, my mom would never let me buy the goodtasting, pointy sugar cone. I was a kid who always had to wafer, safety cone. [ some laughter ] safety, my foot. You take a bite into the bottom of that, then hit that crossbeam girder system [ laughter ] other kids are enjoying a treat, im pullin cone shards outta the roof of my mouth. Thanks, mom. [ laughter ] but we will eat anything. We proo the food that proves it potato skin. Theres no food, nowadays [ laughter ] this is the equivalent of eating sausage casings. [ laughter ] all i can figure out is it makes waiting tables a little easier, for a waiter. Its like are ya done with that, sir . Okay there ya go, sir. [ laughter ] thank you . . Ive said it, before. It is always nice to see a new, young comedian come out and do that well. Jeff cesario is his name. Hell be back. Well be right back. . . All right, heres another, uh, young person. Heres another, uh, uh, young performer you may not be familiar with. Her names Holly Robinson, and she is the young actress who costars in a Police Series called 21 jump street, which is on another network. I think its on fox, actually. Would you welcome Holly Robinson . Holly . . . How are you . Very good. Oh see, listen to listen to the whistles. I tell you. Dont be nervous. No mr. Reiner, heres very nice, and hes youre if you got legs like that, you should never feel nervous thats right [ laughter ] all legs. You have very nicelooking legs. Well, thank you. The minis are back, right . And you know what . What . You look a lot better, in person. [ laughter ] youre a whole lot betterlooking. Youre kidding. Yes. Well, what do i you look you look very handsome, on television, but ah. You just look a lot but super handsome, in person. Yes this close. Well, thats very nice of you, to say that. Its true. Have we met, before . [ laughter ] but, see, i lived in malibu, for about 12 years. Yeah. And, on my way to santa monica high school, i used to drive on the pch Pacific Coast highway and yeah . You, sometimes, drove next to me. Yeah. And i used to drag race you. Only, you didnt know it. [ laughter ] ah so and i i guess thats why i always won. Just kind of a fantasy, you mean, uh you were right. Wellwell, not really. I mean right. I was drag racing you. Youd yeah. Glance over, at me, every so often, but yeah. You didnt know it was me, and i know now, were meeting. Well, youre v you were very young, then. Yes, i was young. I was livin in malind and, uh, havin a good time. Isnt y didnt your father work, uh wwork on some shows and still is workin on my father was i was the most popular fouryearold on the block, because my father was gordon, on sesame street, when i was younger. Ah and [ applause ] thats it. And so, that be you became an instant celebrity, huh . Well because your i was an instant celebrity, and, uh, you know, wed have you know how you have office parties . Yeah. Wed have, you know, bob, mr. Hooper, andand, uh, big bird come over to the house, for parties. It was great. It was great. And all the kids, in and all the kids, in the neighborhood, would definitely. And they all come over, and i but i could never get on the show, cause my dad didnt want me to be in show business. And, finally, after a lot of begging and pleading, he let me on the show. Had one line. I blew my one line. Yeah. It was hi, gordon, and i didnt wanna say that. I wanted to say hi, daddy. Ah. But now, hes the producer of the cosby show. Yeah . Yeah show thats doing very poorly, in the ratings, i hear. Oh, yeah, just terrible. [ laughter ] bill is just struggling along. Yeah. But your dad, really, probably, was trying to protect you, because this entertainment business is ya know, you have to learn to take the rejection, and it can be very difficult i suppose. But he was really embarrassing me. It was very embarrassing being the only kid on the block who couldnt be on the show. Yet, my dad was gordon, on sesame street. But, uh, i had a great time. Yeah. Had a good time. Now, whatve you done, besides 21, uh, jump street . Well, 21 jump street. Other than that, ii been known as an anthem singer, these days. Singin the national anthem. I sang did dodgers stadium, twice. Thats the riskiest thing, in the world, for an entertainer. Its a very hard song to sing. Yeah. And i did i sang, in the capitol steps, at the bicentennial celebration because i sang with the u. S. Army band, and they played the song, as a march, like they had to go to the bathroom hmm. And, uh [ laughter ] they said by the time they started with a drumroll, and, by the time they got to the song, i was just waiting for the intro, and i got to the can you see, and i missed the oh, say. Oh. So but ill make its a murderous song. Yeah. Its a murderous song to sing. It really is very difficult. Robert goulet will never live down the time he kinda botched it, once. Uh, did the wrong words and but who was the first entertainer who did it, really, with aalmost did a soul version of it. J yes. Feliciano. Went on you know, everybody said was very proper, with it. And he went on singing oh say and started ooh. To do a number, with it, and the place fell apart. Marvin gaye did it, also, very well right. At a at a fight. Yeah. But i get to make up, for it. Im doing it, on monday night football, at, uh on seattle versus, uh this coming the raiders. Uh, november 30th. Yeah now so. Do y do ya h do ya go in and rehearse, uh yeah you go and rehearse. You better rehearse, or else youll end up missing the oh, say, like i did, in, uh yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. Youre in trouble. Yes, thats for sure. Now, you gotta catch up, right . Thats right. Thats right. And the bands taken off, somewhere else. Thats right. Yeah. So, are you happy, with your career . Things are going well . Im happy i was iii, um i got into a bad start. I did a movie called, um, [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] howard the duck. Oh, yes. That w what it was called. That well, it that happens to everybody. No, howard was a great you know, it was great workin with a duck, and i had a wonderful time. [ laughter ] feathers flying all over the set, and what more can i say . But you gotta have a few failures, in life. Oh, thats for sure. But that was a big one. But, i mean, i wasnt i had but nobody saw it, so it doesnt make any difference. No one saw it. Right. [ laughter ] i worked on the secret is safe. I worked on the film, for three months. Ended up in it, for three minutes and yeah. Thats the time when you like to end up on the cutting room floor, sometimes. Yeah. But i had i had a great time. And then, i got 21 jump street, and its been upupward, ever since. Yeah. Youre a single lady . Yes, i am single. Yeah. Well, kind of. Im gonna get in trouble, for sayin that. [ laughter ] you youre w lets put it youre keeping company, with somebody yes thats right. More or less. Thats right. Im not married, and it doesnt mean youre going steady, it doesnt mean youre living with anybody. Its just its very proper. Thats the old midwestern word. Were keeping company. Thank you. Thank you, for getting me out of that. Yes, okay. Anyway, well take a break. Were comin right back. [ cheering ] attention are you eligible for medicare . The medicare enrollment deadline is just a few weeks away. Changes to medicare plans could impact your healthcare costs. 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And we do it at no cost. There were so many benefits i wasnt healthmarkets can find me the right plan. And their service doesnt cost a cent. When i try shopping on my own, i get nowhere fast. Healthmarkets takes away the confusion. Too often i see my patients paying more than they need to because they dont know what theyre entitled to. Make sure you have what you need to get the care thats right for you. You have only a few weeks left. If you miss the deadline, you may have to wait another year before enrolling. Call this number by the deadline. And let healthmarkets find the right medicare plan for you without cost or obligation. Call now. . . Okay, i believe its that time to thank everybody. Are you less nervous, now . Oh, i feel a lotlot less nervous now. A lot less nervous. Thank you. Well, youre a very charming young lady. I wish you much success, in your career. Well race it, again. Well drag race it, again. Carl, uh, whats comin up, for ya . My new picture, with robert llindsay. Thats comin up, soon . Pardon . Coming up, soon . Yes. My wife is coming up. Shes, uh, singing, tomorrow night, at the gardenia, right here in town. Okay, and youll be there. Youre always there, arent ya . Yes. Joe debartolos gonna be there. Good. All right. Now, lemme give ya another phobia, here. [ laughter ] ziplocophobia is the fear of opening your refrigerator and finding dom delunu inside a plastic bag. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i rest my case. Well see ya, tomorrow. [ cheering ] im humbled by that applause. Hey good morning antonio, its a great day isnt it . Not for William Saunders 96, who died suddenly in his sleep. Aw, man, youre reading the obituaries . Joe, im a cabby, its good for business. Lutheran chapel, well, people walking to his funeral aint gonna bring him back. Look at this, hes survived by 6 children and 27 grandchildren, all residing in the boston area. Huh, these people are gonna have to get to the island somehow, maybe ill add on a couple extra flights. theme music hey joe, brian, you guys mind if i leave an hour early today . Why whats going on . Well, yea, dont make a big fuss, but today i turn 31 and a half. Boy, you must be getting nervous huh, one step closer to the big 40 and a half. laughing yea. Turn 31 and a half, they give you this dinky little party and they make you wear this silly little hat, and they give you a dumb ole check for 25,000. 25,000, if only id been born a mather. Thats something you dont hear everyday. Lowell, where did your family get that kind of money. From the mather family trust. Wait, theres a mather family trust . Made quite a fortune in the crash of 29. Wait a minute, i thought everyone lost money when the stock market crashed. No, im talking about when joe kennedy crashed his dusenberg into snookys ice truck. He took one look at the damage he had caused to snookys head and gave him 100 grand, and little did he know snooky was born with that pushed in face. Lowell, you know, 25,000 is a lot of money, so if you like any investment advice, id be glad to help. You know, i would appreciate that joe because when it comes to money, im a babe in the woods. Alright, well, i think what you should do i mean, what with the fed pushing the Interest Rate up, you know the bond market has hit rock bottom and you know and the t bill, its a 4. 5 yield on a 12 month commitment, you know, thats a sucker move, i was just gonna tell him to open a savings account. Make sure they stamp your pass book. Okay, lowell, lowell, look, look, look, with your money, and my connections, we could make a fortune. What are you talking about . Im gonna let you in on the Investment Opportunity of a life time. Are you ready . Your very own, french fry vending machine. You gotta stop reading those fliers on the windshields. Oh really, how do you think i found my gastroenterologist . Mather, listen to me. Im going to let you in on a sure thing. It is guaranteed to double your money. A friend of my is making a flick. The only expense is a camcorder, some guy on steroids, and a couple of naked bimbos. Hmm, sounds interesting whats it called . Forest hump. Listen lowell, dont listen to anybody. Especially joe. Hey passbook savings might not be sexy, but its safe. You know, listen, i appreciate everybodys good advice, except that fry thing, thats a loser. But you know, i mean, i really gotta make up my own mind. I mean, im a big boy now. I am 31 and a half. I dont know, clear my mind. Shouldnt take long. One good sneeze ought to do it. theme music oh lowell, i hear youre looking for investments, well i have an idea thats a gold mine. Whats the one thing on this island that everyone wants, and no one can get . Mrs. Fields cookies off the map, aunt fays frozen falafels. Congratulations fay, youve come up with something to make me reconsider tater time. But listen, its too late, ive already invested the money. I went to the place where i go to wrestle with a problem, and occasionally to pray, the old wax museum. I know every square inch of this island. Yea, i remember that place, its right next to the old wailing village. We have a wailing village . Oh, i havent thought about the wax museum in years. Im surprised that place is still open. Oh, it sure is, and i ought to know, im the proud new owner. You bought it . Oh, no, no, lowell, you put all your money into the wax museum . License to print money. Oh, wow, this is worse than i thought. What was lowell thinking putting his money into this decrepit wax museum . Oh, wait, look at this, look at this, mayberrys debuty barney fife, huh, i dont remember a vonbizmark in mayberry. Sure you do, he was goobers friend. Goobers friend. I say this place really brings back some memories. What do you mean . Are you kidding joe, this was the primo make out spot in sconset high. You were not cool unless you scored in the bonanza display. So, what youre saying is that you like to have sex while wax figures watch you. Maybe you were like that in high school, but not everyone was as warped as you. Well. Boy, does this place bring back memories huh. You use to come here . Its so creepy and scuzzy. Well, i came here during its hay day when it was just tacky and cheesy. Okay, now look, what are we gonna tell lowell. Ehh. Well, if he asks, we just tell him the truth. Hes a big boy. Hey, hey guys, so what do you think . Its fabulous. It is so nice, its great. Listen, i want to show you guys around. Come on over here. Now the first stop on our tour is the great hall of president s. Isnt it amazing how life like they are . Lowell, lincoln only has one arm. See thats the great thing about wax museums, theyre fun, and educational. Okay, lets step right over here. Former owner was apparently quite a gambler, he lost jed in a poker game. So, wheres ellie mae . Did i happen to mention that gus was also a widower. Hey, hey, hey, look, look, look, Colonel Sanders man, i have always wanted to do this. Ahh. No, no, no, this is gilbert, our tour guide. , and you know joe, im gonna follow your fine example and im gonna be a kinder, gentler leader. Up two pappy, tour time. Welcome to the house o wax. clears his throat welcome to Lowell Mathers house o wax. Your gateway to experiences unparalleled on earth. If i seem to be moving a little slow, its because yes sir. Our magical trip through time begins with old honest abe. What do you say for yourself abe . Fourscore and several years ago, our fathers brought forth to this, damn another fuse. Wouldnt you know it would happen when the place is packed. Listen, im gonna go fix it. The tours not gonna give itself gilbo. Oh yea, i walked 16 miles to school. Gil, gilbert, just relax. Oh, thank you. This job is a real pressure cooker. Say, will you just do something for me . Will you just say finger licking good, say it. Gilbert, let me ask you a question. On an average day, how many people show up here . Aster. Im sorry lowell. No, its alright joe, you know, this place is a disaster, and thats why im gonna put every penny i have into restoring the house o wax to its former glory. Listen, i wanna thank you, my dear friends, for coming down here and showing your support. Gilbert, collect three bucks a head. theme music wearing to what . To the opening. Of the wax museum. I wanted to check and make sure we dont wear similar gowns, that would be quite the faux pas. Its a wax museum. I know, but its also an opening, and my first chance to get out into the social scene. Were talking wax. Ll meet the man of your dreams at the wax museum. Oh. Your attention please. Flight 20 to boston will be boarding shortly, and thank you for flying sandpiper air, the official airline of Lowell Mathers house o wax, the most exciting, terrifying experience of your life, so, lowell hit you up too huh . You know, he put a wax figure of the pope in my cab. I dont know if its helping him, but i havent gotten a ticket all week. Fay, have you seen lowell, he has another preflight check. Oh, yea, hes down at his museum, getting ready for the grand reopening. Hes spending every waking moment at that dumb place, and we all know hes gonna lose his shirt. Thats right, i love them. On the other hand, dont go by me, i cried like a baby this morning when i discovered that wailing village. Well, thats just not good enough. How hard could it possibly be to fix marsh bradys head . Its not like shes jan. Hold on a second. Done the preflight. Aw, joe listen, much to much importance is placed on a preflight check. I mean, all you really do is make sure that the plane is airworthy, its largely a ceremonial thing. Listen, im not gonna ask you again, bring me the head of marsha brady. Lowell. Alright. I got a delivery for Lowell Mather. Wait a second, i only see laurel, wheres hardy . Wheres oliver hardy . Mather, where the hell have you been . Ive got planes on that runway that need servicing. Whats everybody staring at . Look max, its laurel and hardy, go stand next wow, i gotta hand it to lowell, this place looks great. Oh, look at this, this is an American History display, hey everybody, welcome to Lowell Mathers house o wax, the happiest place on earth. No, lowell, disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Oh, well, the waxiest place on earth. Everything looks wonderful lowell, and im sure theres going to be lots more people coming. Aw, of course there are fay. I mean, you know how people are at wax museums openings, everybodys gotta be fashionably late. Nice tails lowell. Fred astaire. Uh, you mean freds not wearing anything . I think ill just have a look around. Listen, you guys feel free to try the hors doeurves. Theyre over on the godfathers lap. [antonio] thanks lowell. Ah, look at this, hes making us an offer we cant refuse, spring rolls. Way an italian man can make a good living. Take my uncle carlo, he has a palatial estate, hes got vineyards, a vacation villa, yachts. Wow, whats he do . Hes a cobbler. When did you guys get here . Bout an hour ago. Hour ago, what have you been doing . We were, we were, i was back there. Is that hay on your back . You been making out in the bonanza display havent you . Just get your mind out of the gutter. Yep. Hi everybody, sorry im late. Hi casey. So, why are we all standing in the entrance here, lets join the party. Are you the only people who live on this island . Well, at least it gave me an occasion to get dressed up. Hey, that is some beautiful dress. Thank you. Looks even better on you than on ava gabor. Oh, god, shes got better jewelry. When did you get here roy . Oh, ive been here a while. Dont you mean the display . No, fay, no, i mean the exhibition. So, everybody having a good time . [everyone] yea, great, yea. Well youre all a bunch of liars, my grand reopening the glory days are back. I just saw lowell out there. You did, howd he look . How would you look if you lost 25 grand in one week . Well, i once had 15 gs riding on a hard 8 and the shooter crapped out. Apparently it drove her insane. Ah, you know how it is. Look, lowell, youre just gonna have to try to put this behind you, learn from your mistake. Yea, you know, youre absolutely right, i have learned from my mistake. My mistake was thinking too small. Im reopening next month and its gonna be bigger and better than ever. Lowell, wait, wait, hold up, you cant be serious, give it up already. Trust me, this is not good money, im borrowing it from a guy named knuckles, but you know what, im gonna get all knew wax figures. Im this close to getting my hands on a macaulay culkin. Lowell, lowell, stop it. Its gonna take more than a culkin to pull you out of this. A wax museum does not work. Stop putting money into it, youre gonna be trying to dig yourself out of this for the rest of your life. Well, i guess there goes the Brian Hackett hall of freaks. You guys dont understand. I mean some of the greatest ideas in history must have sounded pretty weird at first. I mean people laughed when the Wright Brothers said that they could fly, and people laughed at my cousin bevo when he said he could lick his own eyeball, and people laughed at bugsy siegel, when he stood out there in the middle of the las vegas dessert and said hell, im gonna build a hotel here. Eps reminding me. Look you guys, i know its pretty far fetched, but i really, i gotta take a shot at something bigger. I really gotta try and make something for myself. I mean you guys have sandpiper, you have something to work towards, i mean a dream. The house o wax is a dream for me. Sandpiper air. Museum, you better get down there right away. Oh, no, aww, look at this, ricardo, deputy fife. What do you mean, that burnt smell. No, no, its something else. Its something from my childhood. It reminds me of blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. Thats it. Aw, its still wet, i love how it dries on your fingers. Oh no, they got the fonz. Oh lowell, dont worry about it man, dont worry. You know what they say. Ashes to ashes, wax to wax. Well those new lights must have overloaded the circuit. Ironically, it started in the dark ages display. Am i only one to see the humor i dont believe this. Im sorry lowell. Yea, were sorry buddy. Hey, a Lowell Mather may be down, but hes not out. Own, work day and night, do whatever it takes to get the job done. With god as my witness, i will not let this dream die. Im right behind you, and you can do it with the insurance money. This place is insured . Yea, for full value. 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See your doctor right away if you experience new or worsening cough; chest pain; shortness of breath; diarrhea; iting; extreme fatigue; constipation; excessive thirst or urine; swollen ankles; loss of appetite; rash; itching; headache; confusion; hallucinations; muscle or joint pain; or flushing as this may keep these problems from becoming more serious. These are not all the possible side effects of opdivo. Tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including immune system problems, or if youve had an organ transplant, or lung, breathing, or liver problems. A chance to live longer. Anks the patients, nurses, and physicians involved in opdivo clinical trials. No, this is stupid, im not doing it. Oh come on, come on, please. Hackett, hackett, read my lips im not doing it. Aw, forget it, lets get out of here, my antonio, you certainly look different today. Well, i thought it was time for a new image, you know . Something a little more sophisticated. You look like a tango instructor on a cruise ship. audience laughing you dont think i went a little crazy with the mousse . Youre doing this for casey arent you . Well, yeah, im a little sick and tired of her treating me like im totally invisible. Sometimes i think, you know, she wouldnt even notice me if i was on fire. Here she comes. audience laughing ow, ow audience laughing ow, ow ow, ow upbeat instrumental music dont know. How could we let it go so long . Dont know. You think my sisters gonna be okay by herself . Dont care. audience laughing me either. On the other hand, shes been acting a little more needy than usual. When i left the house tonight she had her hands pressed up against the window like one of those little garfield dolls. audience laughing helen, look your sisters just pushing your buttons. Now its my turn. audience laughing im supposed to have a date with karen tonight, at the last minute she cancels. You know why . She says shes in a car accident brian do you mind . I mean, do you believe that . Cancelling at the last minute like that. How selfish can one person be . audience laughing oh, would you get the hell out of here . No, no, not you. Im just a little distracted, maybe tonight wasnt meant to be. Of course it was, i even took a breath assure. I promise ill make it up to you. Ah helen, please dont go, helen, please dont go . Im actually kinda glad shes gone. audience laughing man, since you and helen got engaged we dont, we dont talk anymore. Well, then lets catch up. mellow instrumental music hey roy. Letting me off early yesterday. Thats the last time i store the brake fluid next to the dr. Pepper. audience laughing well, the important thing is youve stopped convulsing. audience laughing listen you know, im not much good with words, so, um, here. What the hell is this . Well, its a mug with my mug. audience laughing you got me this . Mather, what in the world is in your head . Well, from now on, hot beverages. audience laughing i dont know what to say, chuckles im touched. I cant tell you what this means to me. Sh, i know. Helen, i need to talk to you in my office. Now . Its very important. Joe, what is it . Whats wrong . audience laughing wait, what are you doing . Making up for last night. laughing joe this is a place of business. People could be listening outside, oh its so dangerous. My life is one nightmare after another. Casey, casey what is it now . I ran out of my alpha hydroxy hydrating cream and not one cosmetic counter on this island carries it. I can feel my skin drying up as we speak. Well, i can help, how about if i hold your head underwater . Guess what . Turns out karen wasnt making up an excuse after all. She really was in a car accident, isnt that great . Im out of hydrating cream. audience laughing anyway, karens all healed up and she and i are going out tonight so i need you to take the last flight for me. Whatd you say . Ah, actually brian come on joe, whatd say . [helen} joe and i were [casey] i was here first. [brian] congratulations. [casey] you cant just barge in here. [brian] this is my office too would the two of you shut up. I cant believe how selfish you two are. Did it ever occur to you that when you barged in here t . Well im sorry, what were you doing . audience laughing well thats not important. The point is we spend all our time worrying about you two when we have other things on our minds. You mean you still want to oh, give it a rest audience laughing ah well, maybe we have been a little inconsiderate. Maybe we should do something for em. Oh, very good, very good, leave all the plans to me oh sure, i can just see that, a keg, a boombox and one of those sixfoot sandwiches. audience laughing great, were both on the same page. cept Brian Hackett always springs for the 10 footer. Yeah, hold it, if there is one thing i know how to do it is throw a party. Well get a suite at the harbor house, we can go tonight and pick out the perfect room. Ll have the chef at pastisse prepare all the food. Hey, and the big sandwich. audience laughing were not having a big sandwich. audience laughing this is nantucket, its not san francisco. We are a simple people, audience laughing oh antonio, how are you feeling . Oh, much better, thank you. You know, when a mans been on fire makes him take stock. audience laughing i now realize what a blind fool ive been over casey. Oh, nobody thinks that. Well, not everybody. audience laughing east i dont. Well, i do, but i certainly havent laughed behind your back. Well, not lately. audience laughing well, im through chasing that woman. Antonio scarpacci has come to his senses. Well good for you, dear. Okay, so tonight 7 30, harbor house. Okay and lets get the most romantic room