At peek proficiency. Mister worf. Youre in love. With thedefiant. You exaggerate. As usual. laughing i feel silly. I like it. It shows off your legs. There you see your public has spoken. Have fun. What do you call this holosuite program of yours again . The battle of clontarf you, me and a thousand stalwart irish warriors against a ravening hoard of vikings. Its like the battle of britain only with swords. How comeyout to be high king . I am a direct descendant of king brian boru. Besides. Its my program. moaning i know exactly how you feel. The bajoran time of cleansing. Can someone explain to me why the bajorans need leasures for an entire month . I mean, its not like theyre a bunch of hedonistic holosuiteesessed drunkards to begin with. moans no use moaning about it. It hurts. Whos that for . Me. Its one of moogies home remedies. Your ear . Again . Thats disgusting. I feel dizzy. What else is new . Go wait on table seven. Rom, you look terrible. Dabo wheel rom,i dont pay you to think. I really dont feel good. Hes sick. He needs to lie down. Just because you happen to be intimately acquainted with dr. Bashirs bedside manner brototr, am i Still Standing . What i do during my time off is no business of yours. If you dont get back to work this instant youre going to have more time off than you know what to do with. The same goes for you. Yes, brother. thud arenen you going to do something . Of course, im going to do something. Broik, clele up this mess. [captioning sponsored by the u. S. Department of education oh, this is one stubborn infectionon how long have you had it . Uh, a couple of weeks. You mean to tell me youve been Walking Around with a seeping infection of the tympanic membrane for two weeks . More like three, actually. Rom you could have died. Another 48 hours of the d dine treasury. I guess its a good thing i fainted when i did. Why didnt you come and see me sooner . I couldnt. I was busy. Im sure your brother could have spared you for half an hour. It would have been a violation of my contract paragraph 76, subsection three. Employees of quarks bar and Holding Company are strictly prohibited from leaving the Work Environment during Business Hours unless ordered to do so by their employer. Any failure to comply with this provision will result in severe fines and possible dismissal. Its a standard provision in all ferengi labor contracts. You mean, you dont get time off even if youre sick . Its all part of our. Generous Employee Compensation package. No sick days, no vacations, no paid overtime. It sounds to me like you need a better contract. Theres no such thing. All ferengi labor contracts are the same. Well, that should do it. But i want you to see memefirstg what you people need is a union. A what . You know, a trade guild a collective bargaining association, a Union Something to keep you from being exploited. You dont understand. Ferengi workers dont want tostopthe exploitataon. We want to find a way to become the exploiters. Suit yourself. But i dont seeyou . Exploiting anyone. Rom. Howd it go . Im ok. Julians a wonderful doctct. Your brother should have let you see him weeks ago. Its not quarks fault that i got sick. I forgot to get my bimonthly ear scan. And besides, ive probably been getting too much oomox. Really . Whos the lucky female . No female. Just t. Im. We could ask him. All right, everyone. Gather around. What now i have an announcement to make. Ive just been going over todays receipts and its not good. Isisy profit margin. So, starting tomorrow everyones salary gets cut by a third. No, no, thats not fair. Its either that or fire half the staff. Dont bother thanking me. I cant afford a pay cut. Its either a pay cut or a layoff. You decide. All right, everyone lets gegeback to work. I want this place cleaned up and the lights off in ten minutes. Brother. This isnt right. You cant just cut peoples salaries without warning. Actually, i can. Now, why dont you concentrate on keeping your hands off your lobes and leave the Business Matters to me. But once the cleansing ritual is over youll restore everyones salary, right . That depends on next quarters fiscal summation. Brother, im asking you. As a personal favor to reconsider this pay cut. Anything for you. Um. There. Ive reconsidered it. Er. Dont brother me. In this bar, youre not my brother. Youre my employee. And employees have no right to question the managements decisions. Im warning you. If you dont rescind the pay cuts. Youre going to regret it. The only thing i regret. Is not being an only child. Lly getting this mekleth. Dont you think . It would seem so. Then why havent you told me . A klingon warrior does not need the praise of his teacher. Im not a klingon warrior. Im a beautiful and sensitive young wowon who thrives on. What is it . Listen. faint rumbling yelps do not move. Isnt this your tooth sharpener . snarling this ptak just robbed my quarters. Take him to a holding cell. Ill need a statement. And yoyowill have one. But what i want to know is how such a Security Breach unfortunately, these things happen. They did not happen on theenterprise. Really. Well, let me see. Stardate 46235. 7 ferengi privaters, led by damin lurin seizededontrol theenterprise using two salvaged klingon birdsofprey. Stardate 45349. 1. Berlinghoff rasmussen ntist committed n nerous acts of theft against the crew of theenterprise. Shall l continue . That will not be necessary. I know these incidents are the exception rather thahathe rule, but if Security Breaches like these could happen on the flagship of the federation imagine the difficulty of maintaining security at an openenort such as d. S. Nine. I understand. Irritating. But im afraid youre just going to have to get used to it. Can i have your attention . Ththk you all for coming. I know that in the past, ive always defended my brother whenever hes taken n stance thats proven unpopular with the staff. all agreeing but im not going to do that today. Youre not . No. Im not. Quarks just using the cleansing ritual. To increase his profits at our expense. all agreeing it isnt fair. And were not going to take it. Since when . Since. E. Right now. So what are we going to do about it . Were going to fight back in the only way we can. Were going to form a. A. A what . A union. crowd gasping youve just destroyed the lives of every ferengi in this room. When the f. C. A. Finds out weve even been talking g a. A. T say that word again. Were in enough trouble as it is. The Ferengi Commerce Authority doesnt have to hear about this. If we all go back to work now no one else has to know this ever happened. No, no its too late for that. The f. C. A. Has s rs everywhere. As soon as their lobes get wind of this were all doomed murmuring all right so were doomed. F. C. A. Liquidators will probably hahat us for the rest of our lives lets give them a good reason. Every one of you ferengi and nonferengi alike knows that the way quark treats us is unfair. Frool, dont you deserve a day off when your back starts acting up . Well, uh. I suppose. And grimp. Wouldnt you like to take a paid vacation . Uestio youre being ridiculous. N. Its not going to happen it wont happen unless you make it happen. re ferengi and when a ferengi sees an opportunity what does he do . He seizes it . Thats right and i, for one, intend t tgrab it. Weve been exploited long enough. Its time to be strong take control of our lives our dignity and our profits yes yes strike a blow against quark. Yes strike a blow against exploitation all shouting yes are you with me . All yes union all chanting union union union union whwh you have there is a sebaceous cyst. I know its a cyst, but its getting bigger. Theres nothing. Dermatologically speaking youre perfectly healthy. Im perfectly healthy except ive got a disgusting cyst on the back of my neck. Now either i paint a nose, eyes and mouth on it ff. Well, ill get you some paint. Julian, get it off me all right, all right. But you know what they sayay two heads are better than one. Julian, im waiting. Dr. Bashiririts important. I need your help. Is that ear acting up again . My ears fine. I need some advice about. Unions. Unions. You said the other day i should form a union, so i did. And ive put your theory y to practice. All of quarks employees have joined. Were going to force quark to treat us better. I hope. A union, huh . Good for you. Who do you think led the pennsylvania coal miners during the anthracite strike of 1902 . I have no idea. Sean aloysius obrien. I didnt know that. Theres a lot of things about my family you dont know. 11 months those mines were closed and they didnt open again you mean we should force quark to close the bar. Only a aa last resort. If hes reasonable about your requests theres no need to strike. Quark reasonable . Ha unlikely. Youll have to strike mark my words and when you do, youll have to be strong. Exactly. You know, he had the biggest funeral in all of weweern pennsylvania. A week before the strike ended. 32 bullets he had in him. Or was it 34 . Well, he died a hero. He was more than a hero. He was a union man. I see the problem now. Here. Well have to replace the whole unit. How long will it take . Two, three hours. Then itll work like a charm. Until it breaks down again. Thats the problem when you combine cardassian, bajoran and federation technology. None of it was meant to work together. How do you tolerate this environonnt . Well, its a lot easier than working on theenterprise. Easier . Theenterprisenever had these kind of problemsms. Sitting in the transporter room waiting for something to break down . Here ive half a dozen new problems every day. This station needs me. Oh, do me a favor. Hand me down the coil spanner . If ts is a Surprise Birthday Party youre a month late. Were the guild of restaurant and casino employees and were he toresenturemands. Eguilofesurant and casino employees . Whats that supposed to be . What does it like a union. Exactly. So youd better take our demands seriously. Increased pay. Shorter hours. laughing paid sick leave. guffawing this is no joke. Yes, it is. And the fact that you dont know that it is now get back to work before i fire the lot of you. You cant fire us. Why not . Because as of right now. Were all on strike. All yeah thank you. Thank you so much. crowd murmuring thank you. Thank you. Thank you for not patronizing quarks. R not papaonizing quarks. Thank you for not patronizing quarks. I hope roms voice e lds out. I hope our latinum holds out. Ahh. You wawaed to see me . May i take your order, sir . Quark, im in no mood for games. There seems to be an opening atathe dabo table or perhaps i might interest you not again. Are you carrying a tricorder or anything with a portable Energy Source . What are you talking about . Im still working out the bugs in these holographph waiters. The lissepian who sold me the program neglected to mention that cererin Energy Sources can interfere with the imaging system. Sounds like theres no end to the p pblems youre facing. I can take care of the lissepian. I need you to get those. Traitorsaway from my front door. Theyre blocking access to my place of business causing a disturbance on the promenade andtheyre probably a fire hazard. They belong in a holding cell every last one of them well, i hate to admit this, but i agree with you. From what chief obrien tells me about strikes, they sound like trouble. S. Its not worth getting. Good. Then youll haul them away. Ill do nothing of the sort. But you said. I know what i said but i have strict orders from captain sisko not to. Impingeon your employees freedom m expression. As long as they stay peaceful and allow your customers access through the secondlevel entrance im not allowed to interfere. That case, would you rving menks . Hi that case, would you i di sing menks . sighs what about the vulcan . With their sense of ethics definitely on the side of labor. Pass. I say this ones an enter. Lucky guess. Mmm. Quark isnt exactly his favorite person. Wait a minute. I cant believe it. Hes an enter. Not for long. Where are you going . To talk some sense into him. Commander hold on i cannot believe what im seeing. Sir. If i could explain. Three of my senior staff, brawling on the promenade. Sir, we werent brawling. Maybe you should take a closer look at dr. Bashirs forehead. He shouldnt have got in the way. I was try. I was trying tostopthe fight. We werenotfighting. Then what were you doing . Well, we. Having a difference of opinion. Yeah, i suppose. Towards the end there, we might have. Done a bit of shoving. According to odo that was an accident. It was just that things got a little out of hand. Thingsgot more than a little out of hand. Her find a way to settle this strike e. Uh, captain . Can we leave now . Ill tell constable odo to let you go. In the morning. Well, i hope youre proud of yourselves. Captain, believe me i want this strike settled as much as you do. Then settle it. Its not that simple. Make it simple. Sit down with your brother and hammer out an agreement today. Nd what a delicate situation this is. Maybe i dont know much about ferengi culture but i do know who holds the lease on your bar. The federation. And i couldnt ask for better landlords. Thats because we dont ask you to pay your rent or to reimburse us for your maintenance repairs or the drain on the stations power supply. Youre a very generous people. Until today. Lets see. Five years of back rent a lot. Thats right. Ill talk to my brother. Im glad were in agreement. door chimes come in. What do you want . Whats this . Its the amount of latinum im willing to transfer into your private account if youll just end this strike. Are we talking about slips, strips or bars . Slips. exhales sharply all right, strips. It wouldnt matter if it wererears. Im not going to end the strike unless you meet our demands. Rom, we shouldnt be fighting were brothers. Were nothing but employer and employee. Youve said so yourself. I was wrong. No. You werennt. Rom, cant we talk about this . Theres only one thing i have to say to you. Workers of the world unite. Whats happened to youou . Ah. Its about time you got back. Brunt. Thats liquidator brunt to you. E. Who could forget . What do you want . Quark, dont worry. Im here to help. The Ferengi Commerce Authority has ordered me to end this nasty little labor dispute of yours. How do you propose to do that