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Chucklebee. [ laughter and applause ] musician and Prospective Senate candidate, kid rock gave a political speech last night in detroit and said, i love black people and i love white people too, but neither as much as i love red, white and blue. [ laughter ] oh, god. Oh, god, hes gonna win. The white house announced today that President Trump will sign a resolution passed by congress that condemns white supremacists. Oh, i can see it now, okay, donald j. Trunch. What . I signed it, i signed it. [ laughter ] former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was named a visiting fellow at Harvard University today, which is pretty much what he was at the white house. [ laughter and applause ] oh, sean hes just visiting. According to new data, american women earned about 80 as much as their male counterparts last year. Said one woman, i dont have male counterparts. [ laughter and applause ] former White House Communications director, Anthony Scaramucci went to twitter last night to tease the launch of his own news site, where every article will begin, now you didnt hear this from me, but [ laughter ] a new study has found that 61 of people aged 18 to 29 use Online Streaming Services as their primary source of television. And to those viewers id just like to say [ cheers and applause ] thank you. The World Clown Association is claiming that the new horror movie it has made it more difficult for clowns to find work. [ light laughter ] us too, said possessed victorian dolls. Clowns are so upset about the movie hurting their business, theyre planning a rally outside of a new york theater tomorrow. Ill tell you what will hurt your business, a rally of angry crowds in the street [ cheers and applause ] video has surfaced of a nun using a chainsaw to clear Hurricane Irma debris, while wearing her full habit. Even stranger, ted cruz liked it. [ laughter and applause ] two different mothers recently gave birth in the parking lot of the same new jersey burger king within a day of each other. Its whats known in the obgyn community as a double whopper. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a new study has found that seniors are underrepresented on scripted television with people over 60 making up less than 10 of speaking roles. So look out, for the new fall hit, old sheldon. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. These are three of my favorite guys he is the star of transparent on amazon prime video, the one, the only, Jeffrey Tambor is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this guy has been one of my favorite actors forever. Hes currently starring in season 2 of hbos vice principals, Walton Goggins joins us for the first time here on late night. [ cheers and applause ] im so happy about that. And back again, he has a new cookbook. His cookbook is called, [ bleep ], thats delicious. [ laughter and applause ] which he stole from martha stewart. Its an annotated guide to eating well, its out now and hes here to tell me all about his favorite pizza. Action bronson is back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] we always have a great time with action. Before we get to all that, President Trump is once again dealing with new developments in the russia scandal that are reaching some of his closest advisors, even as he tries to push his own domestic agenda. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth with his historically low approval numbers, the white house has been looking for ways to humanize trump. And one of those ways involves reading letters from kids to the president. Last month, a tenyearold boy named frank wrote a letter offering to mow the white house lawn and today, press secretary Sarah Huckabee sanders announced that frank will get his wish. On a slightly lighter note, id like to announce that frank from falls church, virginia whose letter i read last month, offering his services to mow the white house lawn will be here on friday. Hell work with the grounds keeping crew here at the white house and will help cut the grass in the rose garden. [ laughter ] seth thats right, frank is actually going to mow the white house lawn. Thats almost as amazing as the fact that theres a tenyearold kid named frank. [ laughter ] apparently he wants to get famous because hes got a big crush on his classmate, joan. [ light laughter ] now, after a long summer of bizarre missteps and scandals, trump is dealing with everything from hurricane cleanup, to keeping the government funded. And on top of that, there are new details in the rapidly escalating russia investigation. The special council on that investigation, robert mueller, is now reportedly focused specifically on trumps decision to fire former fbi director james comey. According to axios, mueller is burrowing in hard on the obstruction of justice angle. Republicans close to the white house say, every sign by mueller, is that hes going for the kill. And if anyones capable of going for the kill, its robert mueller. Look at this guy. He looks like the police chief from every 1950s noir film. [ light laughter ] he looks like he should be holding a bullhorn and shouting, youre surrounded mcmurphy. [ laughter ] this guy always looks like you just asked if you could take his daughter to a slayer concert. [ light laughter ] he doesnt even get haircuts, he just looks at his hair in the mirror and growls, get shorter. [ laughter ] muellers investigation seems to be moving very quickly and has ensnared, not only trump, but some of his closest aides, such as his soninlaw and advisor, Jared Kushner. Kushner repeatedly failed to disclose meetings with russian officials and now, it looks like even some of trumps own lawyers knew kushner would be a liability. The wall street journal is reporting that members of the president s legal team con concluded that his soninlaw Jared Kushner should resign as white house Senior Advisor because of the extent of his contacts with russian officials and russian businessman. The report claims that press aides to the legal team went as far as drafting a statement to explain kushners resignation. Seth Jared Kushner resigned . But then who would be in charge of u. S. China relations, u. S. Mexico relations, criminal justice reform, Opioid Crisis management, veteran care reform, the White House Office of american innovation, revamping the entire federal government, painting the easter eggs for the Easter Egg Hunt and peace in the middle east. Jared kushner [ laughter and applause ] Jared Kushner has more jobs than steve harvey. [ laughter ] hes the white steve harvey. [ laughter ] so hows trumps legal Team Responding . Well, if i were trump, im not sure id be all that confident in their performance so far. Trumps lawyer, ty cobb and thats his real name [ laughter ] apparently fell for an email prank last week, when a prankster posing at the White House Social Media director, dan scavino, emailed him and asked him questions about the russia scandal. And cobb seemed to essentially admit that former Trump Campaign chairman, Paul Manafort and former National Security advisor, michael flynn, may have broken the law. Heres what the prankster, posing as scavino wrote to cobb. And in hindsight, you can tell right away from the tone of this email that it was definitely fake. Ive been really worried recently about the whole russia situation. The white house will be okay, wont it . I love my job and the people i work with. I dont want the dream to end up derailing. [ laughter and applause ] that should have been a dead giveaway. That doesnt sound like an email from a trump aide, that sounds like an old prospector writing home to his wife, dearest elizabeth, ive been really worried recently. So far, ive only found silt and coal. I hope to find gold soon. I dont want the dream to end up derailing. [ laughter and applause ] cobb then responded to the prankster, who he thought was scavino, manafort and flynn have issues separate and apart from the white house that will cause the investigation to linger, but im hoping we get a clean bill of health soon. Im sorry, have you seen donald trump . If theres one thing hes never going to get, its a clean bill of health. [ laughter ] he doesnt even have a clean doctor. Hey, i got your blood test back and good news, its red. See you in five years, bro and that was just one of the many replies the prankster got from trumps lawyer, but the most embarrassing part of this whole thing for cobb is that he didnt realize this email was from a prankster because this is the actual email address the prankster used to pose as dan scavino, dan. Scavinojr emailprankster. Co. Uk. [ laughter and applause ] although, im not surprised this guy had trouble with email. Look at him. He looks like hes more comfortable with morse code. [ laughter ] he looks like hes pitching in the 1908 world series. But while all these high stakes crisis swirl around his administration, trump is also trying to move on with his domestic agenda and gather support for his tax reform plan. Now, the boring and complex nature of tax reform may be why trump doesnt actually spend very much time talking about the actual details. In fact, he doesnt really have a tax plan yet at all, just a series of vague promises about cutting taxes and red tape made even more vague by trumps often incoherent rambling. North dakota is an inspiring example of the Amazing Things that are possible when we unleash the genius of american innovators. Unite the red tape and ill tell you and we have to, unite everything and all that red tape becomes beautiful when you get rid of it, but and were getting rid of it. Are we getting rid of a lot of red tape, by the way . [ laughter ] seth i mean, forget russia, we need a special Council Investigation just to figure out the hell trump is talking about. [ light laughter ] now, trump has always been a well known rambler, but if you think he sounded even more incoherent there than usual, conspiracy theorists and trump ally, alex jones, has an explanation. Its known that most president s end up getting drugged. Small dosages of of sedatives til they build it up. Trumps such a bull, he he hasnt fully understood it yet, but ive talked to people, multiple ones and they believe they are putting a slow sedative that theyre building up, thats also addictive in his diet cokes and in his ice tea. And that the president by 6 or 7 at night is basically slurring his words and is drugged. [ light laughter ] seth thats how bad things are right now. The president s allies are defending him by saying, hes not incompetent, hes being secretly drugged. Now the Trump Administration has not actually released a detailed tax plan, so we dont know much about it aside from the vague promises trump has made. His chief economic advisor, gary cohn has insisted that they at least have the outlines of a plan and are trying to add details to it before announcing it. But he keeps using one very gross metaphor. Were now working with both the Senate Finance committee and the house ways and Means Committee to really build out the skeleton, put the muscles on it, put the skin on it. Weve got a great i would say skeleton. We need the ways and Means Committee to put some muscle and skin on the skeleton. To really finalize what that blueprint will look like, i would say, take a skeleton, put the muscles on it, put the skin on it. Seth does Anyone Around trump know how not to be creepy . [ laughter and applause ] they can even take Something Like tax reform and make it sound like a body world exhibit. Trump and the gop are once again trying to cut taxes for the wealthy and corporations, but they dont even have an actual plan. We dont know whose taxes are going to be cut, or by how much, or how its going to be paid for. Is there anything we do know . Its known that most president s end up getting drugged. Seth oh, right, we know that. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Jeffrey Tambor, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Butch is like an old soul that just hates my guts. laughs vo you can never have too many faithful companions. Introducing the allnew crosstrek. Love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. A heart attack doesnt or how healthy you look. No matter who you are, a heart attack can happen without warning. A bayer aspirin regimen can help prevent another heart attack. Be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. Bayer aspirin. 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For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. Inside the rackhouses thousands of barrels lay silent. Aging, building a fuller, smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years. At jim beam, our history is made from the inside. How will you make yours . New jim beam vanilla. Subtly sweet vanilla balanced with smooth jim beam bourbon. Mix with cola for a cocktail thats completely in sync. Seth welcome back, everybody. Give it for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us tonight, shes the drummer from the utahbased band, neon trees, whose new single, feel good, is out now. Elaine bradley is here, everybody. Give it up for elaine. [ cheers and applause ] thats it, look. Seth youre wearing. Thats the album shirt. Youre wearing the album shirt tonight. Is this my moment . Seth thats very exciting. This is my moment. Seth thats your moment. Thank you. Seth thank you, elaine. [ light laughter ] my first guest is an emmy and golden globe awardwinning actor, known for his roles on arrested development and the Larry Sanders show. He stars in the Fourth Season of transparent, which will be available in its entirety on september 22nd on amazon prime video. Lets take a look. Hold up. Were going to have to pat you down. What . Youve got a groin anomaly. Im sorry, what . A groin anomaly. Whats happening, mom . Back up, maam. Whats going on, why are you hassling her . I have a groin anomaly. I have to pat you down. Okay. Whatever you people are doing, im recording it. Maam, you can put that away. I am not gonna put it away and please dont call me maam. Seth please welcome back to the show the very funny Jeffrey Tambor, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im good. Seth you look well. [ cheers and applause ] thats nice. Seth you look hale and healthy. I am hale and healthy. Seth thats great. The only problem is, and i dont mean to be a rude guest, but every time i come here and i dont understand it. Seth uhhuh. Theres a nurse. Seth yes. And she is near the elevator usually. But now she is very close to my dressing room. Seth uhhuh. Whats that about . Seth well, i think anyone and she asked me to put something in a cup. Seth what did she ask you to put in a cup . Ive never done a urinalysis for a show and i think that is no. Seth i think, to be honest what is that about . Seth she was supposed to get a urine sample from Action Bronson. Oh. Seth and i think i got it. Seth there was a bit of a mistake there. Thats emily the nurse. Seth ive tried to explain this to you because i think youre obsessed with the fact that theres a nurse at the show. Well, why is there a nurse . Seth theres a nurse in case anything goes wrong. But ive been on ive been an actor for 50 years. Theres never a nurse. Seth its not your nurse, jeffrey. The nurse is for everyone. Ip [ laughter ] oh not my nurse. High, emily. Seth whos emily . The nurse. Seth we have a lot of nurses here. [ applause ] we have a lot of nurses. Congratulations. Thank you. Seth another season of one of the greatest shows in television history. Thank you. Seth and the scene we saw, a little bit of setup, because its a very funny scene that becomes very serious. Yeah. Seth but you and your daughter take some marijuana gummies. Yes, we get high. Seth you get high before tsa. Yes. Seth did you think this is a good idea for people . Would you recommend it . You have to talk to emily. Seth okay. Got you. [ laughter ] thats true. Now im realizing, emilys really going to come in handy. Who was as high as a kite when i walked in, by the way. [ laughter ] anyway, i think its a very telling scene and its a very interesting scene. The whole thing that i like about what jill soloway is doing with transparent is that shes exploring and telling people what its like, and the humanity and what the travails of the transgender community. And i think there is not a more opportune time to be talking about it. Seth im so glad that youre doing it. I feel like the timing of it was perfect. [ applause ] can i say another thing . Seth please. We were just sitting, emily and i, in the dressing room and i dont know where im going with this and i have to tell you just as a viewer, i so admire your monologues and thank you for the sanity that you are bringing. Seth thats very kind. Coming from you it means a lot. [ cheers and applause ] very kind of you, sir. I one of the things, of your many accomplishments, theres one that im particularly jealous of. Whats that . Seth you have you own your own book store. I do seth which is really, to me, that seems like a very cool thing to have. I love books. I always wanted to have a book store. I have sort of a thing when i was a young actor in new york, if i made it through the week and it was tough. I actually did an audition down here. I believe it was in the rink down here. They called me the night before and they, for a commercial, and they said, do you know how to ice skate . Seth oh, the actual ice skating rink. Yeah, and i said, yes, lying. And i called my friend and i said, youve got to teach me how to ice skate. And he said, okay, meet me. And i said, no, no, tell me on the phone. [ laughter ] anyway, down here, and i said, im so embarrassed. And the guy got up on aframe ladder and he said, okay, this is an audition. There were 200 of us. And i said, im going to be so embarrassed. And he said, all right, this is your audition. And skate and 200 actors fell down. Seth really . [ laughter and applause ] thats true. Seth so that was an era of new york acting, where no one skated. So what i would do every week after that, after the no, no, no, no, no, no is i would go to 57th street on a doubleday, buy a book, and then i would go to the russian tea room. Is that still here . Seth i dont know if it is. I think it is. Someone just went whoo for the russian tea room. [ laughter ] and i would get a borscht. And i would read my paperback. But this isnt interesting, is it . Seth no, its very interesting. Oh, okay. Seth i mean, it wasnt till youre going to have Salman Rushdie on your show . Seth were gonna have Salman Rushdie on the show. Well he is in my book store on september 17th. Seth thats very exciting. Yeah. Seth and do you like that part of it . That you get to meet authors . I dont yes, and i read my book, remember i was here last time. Seth yeah. I read my book in my own book store. And that was fun. Seth thats great. Well, i feel like if you couldnt have gotten an engagement to read your book there, something would have gone terribly, terribly wrong. That would have been bad, right . Were not interested in seth now you have you have four kids who are in school right now. Actually, i have five kids. I have an older daughter in her late 30s, shes 41. And then i have [ light laughter ] seth so i, by the way [ laughter ] what do you have . Seth no, i keep going. No, this is about you, apparently. [ laughter ] seth well, im just saying [ laughter and applause ] seth i said you have four kids in school right now. And you said, actually, i have five kids, and then immediately you mentioned oh, shes not in school. Well actually, she teaches school. Seth okay, so i was wrong. You have five kids in school. Right. I have to confess to something. This is true, and i was talking to your producer about this. I was helping my daughter, eve, who is ten, with her math and i said, oh, well what you do is you carry , and she went, ugh, we dont carry anymore. [ laughter ] seth they dont carry . [ laughter ] no. Seth what do they do instead of carrying . Well, ill tell you what they do. There was a number two at the end of the equation. So i went to i said ill be right back. And i walked down the hall and i asked siri. Seth oh. [ laughter ] is that Good Parenting . Seth i dont know. I assume i am gonna have to as well. Yeah, you will. And siri gave me the answer. Seth what was the answer . Oh, i dont know. [ laughter ] but i think she im on siri and im educating myself. Seth when you left to do siri and when you came back in, did you pretend like you had just remembered it on your own . Oh, yeah. Seth yeah. You dont know, but she caught me out. Seth she caught you. She knew that you sirid it. Yeah. Seth yeah. On of the things i also think is exciting about the show, is youve been in all these shows that have been very famous over the years. Larry sanders, which we talked about. Arrested development, now this. Is it nice to have a new generation of people recognizing you for a new role . Well, i have i have im 70. Gee, you dont look it. [ laughter applause ] thats your line. And you have to understand, i did the ropers, i did love boat, i did kojack. I did everything. But when i did the Larry Sanders show they would call out, you know, what happens now is people say, hey now. Seth yeah. But you have a catch phrase. Or right. Or if they saw arrested development theyll say, theres always money in the banana stand. Seth right. Or and lately now that im doing transparent, once in a while we get, yes, queen. [ laughter ] so thats all good. I mean, thats a career, is it not . [ applause ] seth thats great. Yeah. Seth is it ever awkward when you get recognized . No, i got i think because im bald, people think im a different. I was on the book tour, actually. I i was in, i think, seattle, and i was on the 40th floor. And the guy went, oh, my god. And i went, oh, my god. He went, hows raymond . [ laughter ] i went, i dont know. Hows raymond . I went, i dont do you think im the actor on Everybody Loves raymond and then he went, hows raymond . So, theres still more work to be done. [ laughter ] seth yeah, theres still more work to done. But i have a lot of faith that you are the man to get that work done. I will get it done by the time we come back from commercial. Seth its always such a pleasure to see you. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you for having me. And thank you to emily for taking care of me. [ laughter and applause ] seth Jeffrey Tambor, everybody. The entire first season of transparent is available friday, september 22nd on amazon prime video. Well be right back with Walton Goggins ahhhh they can fly. Travel at the speed of light. And command the currents. They dont need another way to get around. Or do they . [ engine revving ] fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. 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I see on your preventive checklist, youre due for a colonoscopy. Its covered at no additional cost to you. Great no green. Unitedhealthcare [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. You know our next guest from his work on the shield and justified. And such films as django unchained and the hateful eight. He stars in the hbo Comedy Series vice principals which returns for its Second Season sunday night. Lets take a look. Buddy, dont you forget that im your boss. Now i cant have you talking to me like that in front of other people. I am the principal. Well, i was supposed to be principal, too, so yes. Then you got shot. And you hid out like a poor frightened little child. You were broken and i brought you back. Now you will substitute teach that class, neal gamby. And you will find out whos drawing [ bleep ] up cartoons about my genitalia. Are we clear . I suppose. Seth please welcome to the show Walton Goggins, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you, walton . Im good. Im good. I smell neal gamby, was he here a few nights ago . Seth yeah, he was here just a few days ago. Yeah. Very good. Seth so, i want to ask, to begin with, well, i want to reminisce because we first met at a super bowl. 2006, over a decade ago. Yeah. Seth and my detroit, detroit. Seth detroit. We met at the super bowl in detroit. And my whole family went but i didnt get there on sunday. My whole family were huge fans of yours from the Television Show the shield. Yeah. Seth and by the time i showed up on sunday you were sick as thieves with the meyers family. I mean, i partied so hard with your family. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] your mom and dad. Seth my mom and dad still talk about you like youre our third their third son. Well, i actually am. Im in your will. Seth yeah. Im in their will and you dont even know about it. [ laughter ] but no, no, we had an unbelievable evening. And then kind of spent the rest of the time seth yeah. And josh has been a friend of mine for seth yeah, my brother. I remember, like, coming to the breakfast buffet on sunday and my parents saying, oh, we met Walton Goggins. And i was like, oh, i cant wait to meet him. And we walked in and, like, they were hung over, you were hung over. And you were like, hillary, larry [ laughter ] well, yeah, because i was doing they said, oh, i met Walton Goggins. They were like, oh, i met Walton Goggins. [ laughter ] it was that kind of day. Seth they met you and worst for the wear and tear. Yeah. Seth now, first of all, i want to compliment this doublebreasted suit. We do not see it much on the show. The doublebreasted. What, does it look yeah, well, thank you, thank you very much. I was actually my son is a hes a really big 007 fan. Seth okay. James bond fan. And i tried this on and he said, oh, oh, dadda, oh, you have to wear that. I said, what . Seth now how old is your son . Hes six. Seth okay, got it, six. [ laughter ] hes six. Hes six years old. And he said, you look like roger moore. Seth wow and i said, thats why i love you, son, because you see things that arent there. [ laughter ] seth yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah, so i said, okay, you know, im going to wear this for you, because he loves james bond. I actually had a strange kind of connection with james bond like three or four years ago. I know daniel i did a movie with daniel craig a little while ago. Seth right. And there was this moment in time where there was speculation that he wasnt going to continue. Seth yeah, he was going to step down. He was going to step down, right. And so one morning i got a google alert i mean, i googled myself, i didnt really get an alert. Seth yeah. I just googled myself. Seth you just went actively, yeah. [ light laughter ] everybody does that, right . And i see this thing, this headline and it says Walton Goggins as the new james bond . With a question mark. And i looked at it and i started shaking and i thought, oh, my god. People are really noticing me. Maybe they really like what i do. Seth yeah. And so i clicked on the link, right . And it was an article and the title of the article was ten things that will never happen ever. [ laughter and applause ] Walton Goggins will never be james bond. Hell never be jim bond. Like, theres no bonding. Seth they would definitely be going in a more southern direction if you were james bond. But i did it tonight for my kid. Seth and so now your son is six. Has he watched the James Bond Film . How does he know james bond . Well, you know, i mean, we do a little youtube, kind of, theres an 18 minute boat chase, you know. Seth yeah. Like in live and let die. Seth uhhuh. Like, on the other side of, like, him like getting across the crocodiles. Seth yeah. And he just he absolutely loves it. Seth oh, gotcha. In louisiana. Seth so you sort of sit down at the computer and youtube old james bond clips . Yeah, absolutely. And its safe. Its great. I mean, i dont know that he could get into daniels. I dont know. Yeah, its a little much. Seth i will say roger moore was my entre into james bond. Because it was a sort of safer james bond. It was a very, very safe but back then, i mean, these were hard core gadgets back then. Now, i mean, i dont know, i think boyd crowder had better gadgets than roger moore back then. Seth yeah. But he absolutely loves it. Seth and you have come out youve brought your son to new york a few times, right . I have, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth what sort of activities do you do with your son here . Well, i mean from the Natural History museum, kind of, like, on down. But, this is one of my favorite cities in the world and we come quite a bit. And we were here actually about a month ago. And i really wanted to get him, like, a frisbee. And, like, hes six now, so we can have a proper frisbee throw in strawberry fields, right . Seth so central park frisbee, thats great. Yeah, its pretty cool. Right . Seth yeah. So but this is what happened along the way. We get stuck at the balto statue, thats a whole other story, its a great dog, its an amazing dog. And were kind of there and its a little more wooded and he said, dad, you know, im feeling it right now. I think i got to throw this frisbee here. Seth great. Your child he has obviously he has these impulses. Yeah. Seth be it a doublebreasted suit or i got to throw the frisbee here. [ light laughter ] he obviously knows that i look like roger moore, which is amazing. Seth yeah. So he sits and he throws it, seth, and its the most beautiful throw like, you couldnt imagine your son throwing a better frisbee throw. But it gets stuck in a tree 20 feet up in the air. [ light laughter ] and it was, like, once. We just threw it one time. [ laughter ] you know, i didnt even get a chance to catch it. Seth yeah. So im sitting there and im looking at it and just says, man, i really want that frisbee, dad. You know, i really want it bad. So i said, you know, i got you. Not a problem. I took off my backpack. And my wife said, what are you doing . I said, well, what do you think im doing . Im gonna get the frisbee back. And she said, well, you got to take out your cell phone, you got to take out the passports, you got to take out the money. I said, no, no, no, baby, look, i got this. I need the weight. Seth yeah. Got to have the weight. Seth sure. You got to have the weight. So i threw it up and i hit the frisbee and the backpack gets stuck. [ laughter ] stuck, like, its not like eight feet its 20 feet up in the air. And so im looking at here and i looked down at my son and my son i looked at my son, hes standing on this scooter and he said dont even think about taking my scooter. [ laughter ] and i said, buddy, look, man i try i sacrificed my backpack. I need your scooter. Seth yeah. Youre teaching him a valuable lesson to throw good money after bags. [ laughter ] absolutely. Sacrifice. Dont give up, right . Seth yeah, exactly. Thats true. Tenacity is a good thing, son. Seth right. So i took the handle bars off. I threw it up. They got stuck. And i took the bottom part, i threw it up, the heavier part and it got stuck. Finally i got a wine bottle. Seth a wine bottle . Everything that we had on us was stuck up in this tree. [ light laughter ] i even tried to climb the tree and i broke a limb and i thought i was going to jail because i hurt a tree in central park. Seth yeah. I dont know the rules, you know. Seth im sure those trees were just, i cannot believe tourists. [ laughter ] yeah, theyre crazy. Yeah, thats right. Seth no, new yorkers would loose the frisbee and just go home. [ laughter ] the go to the next bodega and buy a frisbee for a dollar. [ laughter ] right, the cheap, like, the cheap actor. Seth so you threw a wine bottle at it . So i got a wine bottle, my wife said, man, you cant do that. What if the wine bottle breaks . And i said, baby, i got this. [ laughter ] i got it. And i threw it up. And my backpack came down. I threw it up again, my kids scooter came down. And the only thing i couldnt get down was the frisbee. [ laughter ] seth oh, my goodness. Well, i guess the lesson is you wasted a ton of time. [ laughter ] thats exactly [ applause ] seth thats fantastic. You were very heroic for your son. Yes, thanks. Seth i, obviously, was very excited to meet you because im a fan. You have you had a fan interaction unlike any, i think, ive heard of, that you had a telemarketer fan interaction. I did, i got this call, you know the number. Seth yeah. So i didnt pick it up. Seth you knew it was a telemarketer and you let it go to voicemail. Yeah, its kind of that thing. And then i kind of look down, its like okay, theres the message there. And usually its like a robot or whatever. But there were a bunch of, like, exclamation points in the transcription, right . Seth yeah. On the iphone. And i thought, well, okay. And i hit play and it was a guy, like the telemarketer, he said, hey. Hey, man, is this Walton Goggins . Is this really Walton Goggins, man . He said, because i got to tell you, i know im a telemarketer and i shouldnt be leaving you a message. I love you, man [ laughter ] i love everything about you. Im a big fan of yours. Im a huge fan. But, look, you know what i am going to do . Im going to take you off this list. [ laughter and applause ] im going to take you off every other list that i do. So i got a telemarketer friend out there. Seth that is theres literally no fan interaction that can have a better ending than that. That is fantastic. Its amazing. Seth well deserved. Its amazing. Seth thank you so much for being here, man. Its so great to see you again. What a pleasure it is. [ cheers and applause ] seth keep up the good work. Vice principals is so great, the two of you together, outstanding. Walton goggins, vice principals, sunday night on hbo. Well be right back with Action Bronson. [ cheers and applause ] slept. Youre not you. Tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. We give you a better night. Youre a better you all day. Tylenol®. About to see progressives new home quote explorer. Where you can compare multiple quote options online and choose whats right for you. Woah. Flo and jamie here to see hqx. Flo and jamie request entry. Slovakia. Triceratops. Tapioca. Racquetball. Staccato. Me llamo jamie. Pumpernickel. Pudding. Employee hey, guys home quote explorer. Its Home Insurance made easy. Password was hey guys. Its Home Insurance made easy. We cantwhy . Y here terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. [ joe cocke s with a little help from my friends ] vw drivers have always put others first. Now were returning the favor, with the people first warranty. Americas best bumpertobumper limited warranty. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night. Were here with my friend Action Bronson, everybody [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Seth his new cookboo [ bleep ], thats delicious an annotated guide to eating well is on stands now. Welcome back to the show, action. Thank you. Wait, hold on. Let me put this down for one second. Seth please. I brought a phenomenal pie of pizza for you from my neighborhood spot. Seth this is your neighborhood spot in queens . Give me a hug. Seth okay, here you go. First that. Seth there we go. [ light laughter ] thank you. Now we do a spin. Seth okay, oh, good. [ laughter ] how are you . Seth im good. How are you . You all right . Good to see you again. Seth its good to see you, too. We dont usually set up a pizza station, but for you, anything. Thank you. Seth youre welcome. So i brought i just presented myself [ laughter ] like im on broadway. Seth yeah. I brought a mother [ bleep ]. Yo, im telling you, these guys invented this. Its an afghani pizzeria in flushing, queens. Seth okay. Called napoli. Seth napoli. Thats not in afghanistan. [ laughter ] seth no, napoli is all right. Seth famously not in afghanistan. So we have baked ziti on the pizza. Seth oh, my goodness. Ziti on the pizza. And there was a couple of slices put in beforehand. Seth all right, so this a low carb option. [ light laughter ] definitely ready. Seth definitely ready. All right. Can i pull mine out . Pull it, please. Just be careful with that. Be careful with your hand. Seth oh, mine broke. Ah, [ bleep ]. Give me this. [ laughter ] you take that. Seth okay, ill be over here. Ill get this one out [ light laughter ] seth oh, wait. Damn. Seth well, we got you one of those. You feel like oop. It just pushed it further back. [ laughter ] all right. Seth i put one of these in. So i got a couple more. Im going to put a couple more in this. Seth okay, great. All right, here we go. Seth this is going. You want to help me . Seth this is off to a very good start. [ laughter ] grab that. Seth yeah, im going to grab that. Be careful. Seth and im just going to slide it in. Right there, not too far. Seth yeah, no kidding. Yeah, there it is. [ light laughter ] grab one more. Seth grab one more. There we go. There it is. I precut it for you. Seth thank you. Oh, thats so nice. That ones going to be on fire. Okay, were going to let yeah, its going to go on fire. Seth okay, and then [ laughter ] dont worry. Seth you have soda. I do have soda but wait, let me serve this up to you nicely. Hold on. Seth okay, what are you going to put on it for me . Im going to put this here. Seth okay. Like a good Old Fashioned slice. Seth okay. Put that there. Seth uhhuh. You have your [ bleep ] terrible parmesan cheese. Seth terrible . Its like [ bleep ] parmesan from the pizzeria. Seth but do you like that . Its amazing. Seth okay. [ laughter ] its phenomenal. Seth okay, great. Now you have to season the pizza. [ light laughter ] you know, you let it snow right there. Seth yep. Oh, my, look at that. Seth thats great. That looks beauty. Seth okay, can i have a bite yet . Wait, hold on. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] and this classically is paired with a coke from the fountain. Seth okay, fountain soda. Classic. Seth okay. Right there. Seth its been a long time since ive had a fountain soda. What are you on a diet . What are you doing, south beach . [ laughter ] seth yeah, im doing south beach. Are you still lifting . I asked you earlier, you still on the package, the juice. Seth yeah. Im still taking what are you on . Seth some lowend steroids. Yeah. [ laughter ] l youre micro dosing on test . Seth i take a little bit of steroids every morning. This is wonderful. You like that . Seth you think yours are done already . No. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] but its seth can i have a bite yet . Yes. Seth okay, great. Have it. Tell me how you feel about that. Seth im very excited. [ light laughter ] how do you feel . Seth thats really good. Yeah . Seth mmhmm. Let me snow mine. [ light laughter ] seth i want to talk about your book. Please do. The [ bleep ] i [ bleep ] come here for . [ laughter ] seth not just here to make me pizza. [ applause ] so action, there are some recipes in here, right . Theres about 40. Seth there are about 40 recipes. Theres a lot of beautiful pictures of food. Theres about a hundred things that i love. Seth it is. Its a hundred things you love. That i love. Seth and theres some personal stories. There sure is. Seth and some of them are sad, action. Some, is this about fat camp . Seth no. [ laughter ] this is a story about a chicken cutlet. Oh, please tell me. Seth and it really it brought a little tear to my eyes. You wrote, i did once have an incredible chicken katsu in japan that i ordered out of a 24hour vending machine. Thats true. Seth do you still remember it . Yes, i got underwear that was worn also and i sniffed the underwear while eating the katsu. [ audience ews ] theyre crazy in japan. Seth well, youve ruined that page. [ laughter and applause ] im burning everything. Seth youre burning everything. This ones a good this got extra crunchy on that side. Seth there you go. Imma put that over there for later. Seth should we turn off the oven so that no. Seth okay, great. [ laughter ] let it go on fire. Let the mother [ bleep ] burn. Seth let the mother [ bleep ]. So you have your show on viceland. [ bleep ], thats delicious. [ bleep ], thats delicious. As on the book. Im also going to be a competing late night host with you soon. Seth are you . Wow, whats the show . I dont know yet. Seth okay. I dont know the name of it. But its a late night show on viceland. I just havent do you have any names, like, [ bleep ]. Seth im not going to give you name if youre my competition. [ laughter ] the battle lines will be drawn. Were friends though. Seth yeah, were friends. I want to talk about your show. You have a dating show. Oh, hell, do i ever. Seth called what is it called . Hungry hungry hearts. Seth hungry hearts i pair people together on dates. Im a curator of love. [ laughter ] seth oh, ive always thought so. I really am. Im a curator of love. I send people on very unique dates all over the city. Seth like where . Well, i sent some people to a sausage and pepper truck thats parked in front of a cemetery. [ laughter ] seth and how did that go . They hit it off. Seth thats great they hit it off because one of the father was a which is like som crazy [ bleep ]. Seth uhhuh. And then the other lady, she liked playing with ouija boards. [ light laughter ] seth you nailed it . I nailed it right on the head. I dont i mean. Seth you got a new album, too . Blue chips 7000. Seth you are a man of many skills. Oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] music, books, television, porno. [ laughter ] seth all right, stick around. Well be right back with Action Bronson everybody, [ bleep ], thats delicious an annotated guide to eating well is out on stands now. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] Nosy Neighbor with a glad bag, full of trash. What happens next . Nothing. Only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. Guaranteed. Even the most perceptive noses wont notice the trash. Be happy. Its glad. Mom stuffynosecold nosleep mouthbreather just put on a breathe right strip it instantly opens your nose. Up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone go to breatheright. Com today to request a free sample. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. A heart attack doesnt or how healthy you look. No matter who you are, a heart attack can happen without warning. A bayer aspirin regimen can help prevent another heart attack. Be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. Bayer aspirin. So we know how to cover almost almoanything. Hing even a swing set standoff. And we covered it, july first, twentyfifteen. Talk to farmers. We know a thing or two because weve seen a thing or two. We are farmers. Bumpadum, bumbumbumbum every day, Technology Becomes much more personalized. Like this. And this. ai device welcome home, gary, how was your day. And like this. Introducing specifi, our digital investing platform thats built around you. Just answer a few questions, and specifi will provide a tailored investment portfolio. It continually manages it, so if the market changes, it adjusts accordingly. Ask us how specifi can help you reach your potential. For more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth. And be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. Eightyfive hundred dollars . . Vanstone auctions . Sold for eight thousand five hundred unicorn in rouge. Congratulations, sir. When you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. Hi alex, i have your account pulled up. How can i help . Oh, uh. Great. Are you seeing this charge from an auction house . That doesnt look right. Ill take care of that. Oh good. Thank you. Because when you need help, you need it asap. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Jeffrey Tambor, Walton Goggins, Action Bronson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] oh Elaine Bradley and the 8g, stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening, and welcome to last call. Im carson daly, and we are at the hilton universal city, lets do this. Coming up on the show weve got

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