Musical guest st. Vincent. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 782. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much welcome to the show. Welcome, everybody, welcome to the tonight show, baby. This is it. This is the one to watch. This is it. Im excited. Well, heres what people are talking about, you guys. What a crazy weekend in washington. First, former National Security adviser Michael Flynn cut a a plea deal with Robert Mueller and then the Senate Passed the gop tax bill. I tried to follow it on the news, but all the anchors have been fired for sexual harassment, so i didnt see anything. [ applause ] steve really . Jimmy i dont know whats going on. Thats right. Michael flynn agreed to a plea deal with Robert Mueller and it came out that the fbi is investigating everyone in the white house all the way to the top. Trump was like, oh my god, theyre investigating putin . Everybody. Everybody. Everybody [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats right, flynn cut a deal and is now working with the investigation. So i guess after helping trump transition into the white house, hes helping transition him out. Yeah, thats very interesting. [ cheers and applause ] he does everything. Oh, and get this, trump might have incriminated himself when he tweeted that he had to fire flynn because he lied to mike pence and the fbi. You could tell trump was scared cause his next tweet was like, jklol. [ laughter and applause ] doesnt fix the problem. Jimmy but after trump posted the tweet, the white house claimed it was actually written by trumps lawyer. Then trump saw how many retweets it got and was like, never mind, i wrote it. [ applause ] yeah, i guess, i retweeted myself. The other big story is that early saturday morning, Senate Republicans passed their tax plan. They said we realize doing this in the dead of night makes us look sneaky, corrupt and dishonest. Anyway, have a great weekend. [ laughter and applause ] but the bills drawn lots of criticism. Experts say it will ruin health care, cause problems for the elderly, and add over 1 trillion to the deficit. Trumps cabinet was like, phew, thank god were going to jail. I mean, could you imagine if we had to live in this world . [ applause ] and Senate Democrats went after republicans for making a bunch of handwritten changes to the tax reform bill just hours before voting on it. You could barely read some of them. This is a real photo. Take a look at this. Yeah. Cant really tell what the writing says. Well, we want some answers. So here now, via satellite, from washington, is one of the people who voted for the bill. Please welcome republican senator cory gardner. Cory. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy yeah. Now senator, you voted for this bill, but a lot of people have been saying that all these scribbles were impossible to read. Well, to be perfectly frank, its a lot clearer and more straightforward than what people are saying. Jimmy okay. Then can you please tell us what those changes said. Absolutely. One example is article 19, section b, which clearly states that our tax bill will significantly lower taxes for agripolental redudicratic convorpulations. [ laughter ] jimmy im sorry, lower taxes for what . It will lower taxes for all ambularental chromosomatic compulnacations. [ laughter ] jimmy i have no idea what you just said. Well, its very straightforward. [ laughter ] jimmy fine. Can you give me another example . Sure. Article 273, section d, very plainly indicates that any individual may claim a a deduction for interest paid on accumulated combustion muffins. Jimmy accumulated combustion muffins . Choreographed dolphin fluffin. [ laughter ] jimmy dolphin fluffin . Exactly. It allows deductions for computeragitated corgi puzzles. Jimmy repeat what you just said. Gastrointestinal strudel noodles. Jimmy senator gardner, im starting to suspect that you have no clue what the very bill you signed actually says. Of course i do. Jimmy then say it slowly so i can repeat it. Well, this is very childish, but fine. Our bill cuts the tax rate. Jimmy our bill cuts the tax rate. For anyone who. Jimmy for anyone who nerd twerdle cofefe kardashian. Jimmy all right, get out of here. Cory gardner, everybody. Nerd twerdle . Nerd twerdle . Steve what . Nerd twerdle. Jimmy cory gardner, everybody, cory gardner, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] its also its also pretty big. This morning, trump endorsed roy moore with a tweet saying, we need roy moore to win alabama. Turns out trump has been tweeting so much in the morning, its actually inspired a new product. Take a look at this. Do you have trouble waking up in the morning . Need an extra jolt to get out of bed . Then try the all new trump tweets alarm clock, the only alarm clock that wakes you up by reading trumps latest insane tweets, which happen every day at like 6 00 am. [ whistle ] we need roy moore to win in alabama. [ whistle ] the russia investigation is a a witch hunt. [ whistle ] im getting rid of alaska. Its just a big, cold hawaii. The trump tweets alarm clock. Crazy never sleeps. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy for the holiday season. Steve yeah, for the holidays. Jimmy some business news, i read that cvs will buy the Health Care Company aetna for about 69 billion. Its so much money that they have to wait for a manager to come press a button on the selfcheckout machine. You know what im talking about . [ applause ] thats right, cvs is buying aetna for 69 billion. When the cvs chairman got home, his wife said, oh, man, i had a coupon for that. [ applause ] you should have told me you were buying aetna this made me laugh. The Pontiac Silver Dome was set to be demolished in detroit yesterday. It was supposed to be a big explosion. Everyone came to watch. Lets see how it turned out. [ explosion ] [ laughter ] jimmy oops. What were they using to blow it up, diet coke and mentos . You guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots right there [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey guys, it is monday. Were excited to be back. We have a huge week of shows ahead. Kate mckinnon will be here. John cena will be here. James franco and hugh jackman will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] steve wow jimmy and we have music performances from wiz khalifa featuring ty dolla sign, niall horan, and luke bryan. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great show tonight. He stars alongside amy schumer in Steve Martins meteor shower. It is the hottest show on broadway. Keeganmichael key is here, ladies and gentlemen. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus, from the fantastic Netflix Series the crown, the talented claire foy will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and this is huge. Tonight, we are revealing this years honoree for the 2 2017 Sports Illustrated sportsperson of the year award. He or she steve we dont know which jimmy will be joining us tonight. This is just my book. This is not steve cause you cant say it. Jimmy no, i cant. Well thats the whole fun of it. Steve right. Jimmy i mean, we are announcing it. This is big news. Steve right, nobody knows. Jimmy sportsperson of the year. Steve of the year. Jimmy we dont know who im interviewing. Steve i dont even know. Jimmy i dont know even when the interviews over. Steve really . You dont even know what day it is. Jimmy yeah, they tell me im not supposed to remember anything. Steve yeah, dont say nothing. Jimmy oh, have we got great music tonight. Man, oh man, our show has had some great music on the past couple weeks. I mean, we always get good acts and stuff like that, but tonight its just beautifully done and great everything. Well, i think we have the best sound of any show on tv as well as lighting and everything. I just its just fantastic. Anyways, get ready for this. We have great music tonight from st. Vincent, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah, whoa jimmy its going to be great. We have more tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] music playing this holiday, the best gift you can give, is your time. Volunteer at neighbhorhoodofgood. Com. State farm. I met bruce i saw on his lapel ches got a purple heart. E bruce we started talking about the service. I outrank him. chris [laughs] yeah. Meals on wheels reaches so many people. Its impactful beyond anything ive ever done in my life. bruce the meals and his friendship really mean, means a lot to me. vo through the subaru share the love event, weve helped deliver over onepoint seven million meals to those in need. Get a new subaru and well donate two hundred fifty dollars more. chris and bruce put a little love in your heart. [ cheers and applause ] steve ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Springsteen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so cold and alone d. C. Winds whippin around the white house. You guys been good this year . [ cheers and applause ] jared, you been good . Everybody in the Trump Administration been good or what . Not many. [ light laughter ] theres not many. You guys are in trouble out here. Well you better watch out you better not cry you better not lie to the f. B. I. Robert muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town hes making a list naughty and nice hes gonna find out just who to indict Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town he sees your russian dealings hes read all your emails he knows that you tried to collude it isnt fake news for Goodness Sake it isnt fake news for Goodness Sake oh you better watch out you better not cry you better not tweet that you knew flynn lied Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town pass tax plans when youre sleeping you know thats your mistake the midterm elections coming soon in 2018 youre gonna pay 2018 youre gonna pay oh you better watch out you better not cry you better not lie to the f. B. I Robert Muellers coming to town oh yeah Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town [ cheers and applause ] jimmy coming after you. Hes gonna get you too. All your asses are going to jail. Merry christmas. [ cheers and applause ] being a location scout, my office is on my back. The less stuff i have to carry the better. With surface pro, i have one device that does everything. Technology has really changed how i do this job. On pacific rim uprising our characters are 250 ft. Tall. Where in the heck are you gonna land this big robot . Pulled up a satellite image and there is like a giant bullseye, robots here i feel very proud of what i bring to the screen. I have the greatest job in the world. Give extra. Get extra. But it might be hard to handle like the flame that burns the candle the candle feeds the flame topped steak twisted potatoes at applebees. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Can you pass me that tinsel . Ooh, a pink tree . One. Its millennial pink not seeing the vision. How about a little gold . How about rose gold . Lets do it um, love dad molly, can you please take out the trash . sigh dad molly trash whoo mom hey, molly . Its time to go bell ringing class, lets turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. Who would like to read . molly i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. Its running much faster now. See . Its amazing, molly. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by an emmy and Peabody Award Winning writer and performer who made his broadway debut last week alongside amy schumer in a new play called meteor shower, which was written by the great steve martin. Put it together for our friend of the show, keeganmichael key, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy keeganmichael key man, thats what im talking about [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Thank you for coming in. You got this band, you got to do a hot intro. Jimmy you got to do a hot intro. Youve got to do it. Right, quest . Oh my gosh. Hey. Jimmy how you doing . Hows everything going . Couldnt be better, man. Im on broadway [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right its real. Its real. Its amazing. Its really, really amazing. Were having a great time, and its every day, the camaraderie and the rhythm of it feels really fantastic. Its nothing like live theater. Jimmy this is the only night you have off, right . Its my only night off. Yeah, i work six days a week. I wanted to be on the tonight show with jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im saying. Thats why we love and you know i love you. Jimmy do you get any time off for the holidays at all . Do you get to go no, no, we are performing right through the holidays so we performed i had two shows before thanksgiving and two shows after thanksgiving. We have two shows, i think, the day before christmas and after christmas. But its so much fun. But thats the gift. Thats the gift. Because i love to be the fact that we can perform and give joy to the people in the audience and families are coming, so were here. Were here. Jimmy normally, do you go to detroit . Is that where youre from . Yeah, im from detroit. Im from detroit, so typically i go nobody. [ laughter ] jimmy not even thats like silence. Jimmy no, you heard someone, like, unwrapping a a candy. Whats that . What did he say . Detroit . Is that a werthers . Jimmy i love a werthers. Oh, shoot. Hes talking to us. Im from detroit. I was born and raised in detroit. And um [ cheers ] okay, now its pity. [ laughter ] come on, guys. But they jimmy no, since you last talked, we brought people in from detroit. From detroit, yeah. Jimmy seconds seconds ago [ laughter ] jimmy dude, how about this stadium . The silver dome. Jimmy the silver dome. The Pontiac Silver Dome, which is in pontiac, michigan. The Pontiac Silver Dome is where the Detroit Lions played for decades. Jimmy yeah. And i used to go there as a a kid. The Detroit Pistons played there for decades and lots of things take took place there. And they were supposed to demolish it on sunday. Jimmy yeah. And they put all the explosives in there, they went to implode the stadium, and it didnt go down. [ light laughter ] we couldnt even get that right. [ laughter ] so, like, a quarter of the stadium is Still Standing right now. They tried to blow this thing up three days in a row, and they cant get it. That stadium is built ford tough. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right thats right. Detroit, thats right. Thats right, baby. Chrysler imported from detroit. Buy american [ laughter ] i get no money for that. Jimmy i want to talk theres a lot of things happening for you. First of all, congratulations on your engagement. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy but last time we talked, it was Just Announced that you were going to be in the new remake of the lion king with beyonce. Yes, with beyonce, yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and directed by jon favreau. Jon favreau, yes. I play one of the hyenas. Remember from the original movie . Jimmy of course everybody remembers. [ cheers and applause ] whoopi and cheech marin. So i play one of the hyenas and i was very fortunate that eric andre, who plays one of the other hyenas, we got to work together, which, you never get to work together. Youre always just kind of in a a booth going what . Youre never going to get him to do that. Ow [ screaming ] hes burning my ass you know . And you never you never get to see the person who burns your ass. Never get to meet them. You never get to understand what jimmy you never get to meet that person. Whats the motivation behind them burning my ass . You dont get to learn anything about the other actors. So, it was nice that we got to interact with each other. Jimmy i cant wait for that. Im looking forward to that. But also looking forward to this. Congratulations, youre getting great reviews on this, meteor shower. [ cheers and applause ] you and amy schumer. You and amy schumer. Who else is in the cast . Two amazing actors, Laura Benanti and jeremy shamos, who are both broadway, just veterans. Jimmy they know how to do it. Oh, they know how to do it. Lauras been doing broadway her entire life. 18 years old. Jimmy so good. So good. Beauti sings like an angel. And jeremys theyre both like these journeymen, solid. Theyre the ringers. Theyre the ringers. Amy and i are just like, down stage where . Jimmy but these are broadway vets. Theyre broadway vets. Jimmy and you and amy working together . Amy heres the thing. Amy its so interesting. Amy being a standup and me being a sketch person, were used to and an improviser, were so used to performing with an audience thats interacting with us and talking back to us. So every now and again something will happen in the audience where someone will Say Something and we both its like chum in the water. And we both like sharks, were like you know, theres times where were Holding Hands and stuff like that. And youll hear someone. [ mumbling under breath ] dont, dont, dont, dont, dont. Dont, dont, dont. [ laughter ] we in a play, girl, dont do it and there was a time i know she was on stage with laura one day and she has a line where she goes, oh her characters name is corky. And laura says, oh, corky, youre so sensitive. Where did you grow up . And she goes, cleveland. And this guy in the audience goes, oh, no. [ laughter ] what . Amys like, i want to get him. I want to get him. Jimmy but how shes getting great reviews as well. Yeah. I mean, shes taken to it like a fish to water. Shes been really, really fantastic. And super comfortable on stage. And the show changes a little bit every night, and we try to say all the same lines all the time. But well stick little physical bits in there and stuff like that. And sometimes jimmy just for you guys . Just for each other. Just for each other. And the audience is always watching going, what is going on up there . What are they doing . Theyre having their own little fun up there. But and sometimes like something like, shell just get a bee in her bonnet and shell just you know theres a thing where were having this romantic scene and one day, im holding her hand like, im holding her hand like this, and shes on the couch and shes looking at me and she just straightup, for no reason, [ laughter ] and then i go jimmy you got to and i had to finish it off. No, its a real nice, tight little piece and steve martin has been so hes been so fantastic to work with and collaborative and wonderful. Jimmy like, has he . Yeah. You walk its like we had one night that was standing ovation, everyone was clapping. We walked off stage and steves this is steve martin backstage going [ clapping ] [ laughter ] ive got some notes, though. Ive got some notes. Jimmy he comes at you with notes. Yeah. But hes he said its glorious for him. Hes really enjoying watching his words come to life and watching the game. Our director says every night, he goes, you guys are like the Golden State Warriors out there. Thats what he said. Jimmy awe, come on. Its like were playing like a team and it just feels good and fluid and wonderful. Jimmy and hes having a a good year as well, the director. Oh, my god. He did bronx tale. He directed bronx tale. He directed hello, dolly theres gotta be half this audience is going to see hello, dolly tonight. Jimmy yeah, yeah. The rest will just see meteor shower. Exactly, right. But yeah, so he had everybody were feeling good. Jimmy i know its set in 1993 and i wanted to help you and the cast out in case you just need a little bit more inspiration. So we asked the greatest dj in the world, questlove oh, yes he is. Yes. Jimmy to make a mix of 1993 songs, and here are three cassettes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] 1993. All mix tapes. Look at that. Im sorry, what did you call these . What are these called . Jimmy theyre cassettes. You just handed me three jimmy space pods. Yeah, no, theyre not posters. Theyre not posters. Theyre actually cassettes. I dont know how youre going to play them, but anyways good luck, and congratulations. We love him. Keeganmichael key [ cheers and applause ] meteor shower runs at the booth theater through january 21st. Claire foy joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. Keeganmichael key [ cheers and applause ] this holiday, the best gift you can give, is your time. Volunteer at neighbhorhoodofgood. Com. State farm. Music playing big boi. If its all right i wanna kick with you all night, all night whoa have a good time we will aint gotta worry cause its all right, its all right anything gonna do all night, and all night, and all night, baby dont be shy, dont be shy dont be shy, baby grooves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest won a a golden globe for her incredible performance as Queen Elizabeth ii in the acclaimed series the crown. If you have not seen it, it is so good. The highly anticipated season two will be available on netflix this friday. Please welcome the lovely, the talented claire foy [ cheers and applause ] jimmy claire foy, welcome back. Oh, thanks. Jimmy you look great thanks. Jimmy last time i saw you, you were blonde. I was blonde, yeah. Jimmy you had blonde hair. Oh, yeah, look, there i am. Jimmy this was you. Yeah, now, oh, i love it. Its all gone. Jimmy yeah. Did you like being blonde . I loved being blonde. Jimmy you did . Yeah. Yeah, the whole blondes have more fun thing is actually i didnt have fun. But people are just nice theyre just nicer to you. [ laughter ] jimmy people are nice to you because youre blonde . They are . Yeah. Jimmy really . You wont have experienced this because youre like me. But youre all i swear, its an actual thing. Jimmy really . People hold the door open for you. They smile at you just in general. Jimmy yeah and this doesnt happen to you now at all. No. Jimmy no, not people are actually mean to you. Theyre actively horrible to me. Jimmy is this for a new role . What are you well, yeah. And i had to let go of the blonde because its quite a lot of upkeep. Jimmy it is, yeah. So it had to go at some point. But yeah, ive chopped it all off for a job, yeah. Jimmy can you say what youre doing or no . Yeah. Im playing janet armstrong, who is Neil Armstrongs wife. Jimmy in the ryan gosling yeah, ive heard of this movie. Is this the i know im not an american. Im sorry. Jimmy whats that . Im not an american. I feel like a bit of a fraud because shes very american. Jimmy no, thats the whole point of acting. Yeah, we know youre not really her. Yeah, you unless you were married to neil armstrong, i have no idea, but lets get into that later. [ laughter ] i just apologize in advance. Jimmy no, never apologize. Are you kidding me . We love you. Are you being british, are you very excited about christmas . Yes, i love it. Jimmy you do . You have lots of puddings and stuff, yeah . [ light laughter ] yeah. Jimmy yes, you do, right . Puddings are a big part of it. Chocolate, pudding jimmy you have a real i mean in america, christmas is big, but in england, its a a giant its like kind of thanksgiving dinner kind of, right . Yeah, but thanksgiving, you put marshmallows on stuff and things, dont you . [ laughter ] like on jimmy i mean, not me, personally, but yes, our countrys been known to put marshmallows on a lot of things, yeah. [ laughter ] thats the way we work. What is that . Doesnt marshmallows on some sort of sweet like sweet potato thing or something . Jimmy yeah Sweet Potatoes then you put minimarshmallows, not marshmallows on top and then they melt and they get a a little a kind of a crusting, its a little like a fun adventure. Interesting. Interesting tradition. We dont do anything like that. Jimmy you dont . Its all like meat meat gravy based. Jimmy oh really . Yeah. Jimmy and youre going to go back to england for that . I am, yeah. Jimmy you are, yeah. Well, how long do you get to hang out in new york for . Well, im hanging out. Im going to see Bruce Springsteen tomorrow night. And you were so good jimmy no, my gosh, stop. [ cheers and applause ] i dont need to go see him now, thats it. Jimmy please. Youre going see him . I havent seen the show yet. Yeah, im excited about that. Yeah, really, yeah. Oh, wow. All right, good. When are you going see him, tomorrow . Tomorrow night, yeah. Jimmy oh fun, maybe ill crash and ill like ruin your whole night. Ill be like, hi, claire. You enjoying the show . And youre like, leave me alone, this is my one night away. My mum has brought my mums here with me, and she brought her the river tour that she went to see in like 1984. Shes brought that jumper and im going to wear it. Jimmy oh, come on. See, thats the best. Im so sad jimmy no, youre not, no. What the world needs is more fans of people. Its good to be a fan of Bruce Springsteen. Thats awesome. I love that guy. Im a fan of yours. Thats a good segue right there. Lets talk about the crown. Man, oh man, i think i first met you at that party before the Golden Globes and i was like i just knew it. I go, man, youre going to win the golden globe for this year. I bet you said that to every Single Person you met that night. [ laughter ] i know youre going to jimmy but not everyone won. You won. I do say that its not a good jimmy but this one actually worked with you. Because you ended up winning the award. Man, oh man, but what a great production. When you watch it, its not like they definitely didnt waste any money. No. Jimmy i mean, theres elephants, theres things i mean, it is honestly a big deal production. And then this is season two of the crown and you play the queen, but this is your last season. Youre out after this. Because thats it, yeah, yeah. But they spent all the money on the first series so were just in a shed. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not true, youre in a shed. But that was always the deal, though, right . You were only going to do two seasons and then yeah, yeah. Jimmy yeah. Its going to be played by a a different actress. Olivia coleman, shes great. Jimmy yeah, but were going to miss you. Youre so great. You wont. Youll forget all about me and the rest of the cast. Jimmy claire, that is so not true at all. Im not going to forget about you. Were the warmup act. Jimmy what is whats going to happen this friday when i binge watch netflix . Oh, i dont know. Jimmy yeah, season two. I dont know. Do you get much sleep . I dont know. Jimmy not whats going to happen to me. Whats going to happen in the season. [ laughter ] yeah, ill fall asleep, eventually. Yeah. I work very hard. [ laughter ] who knows what could happen . I dont know, man. I mean, its friday night. I dont know. Woohoo jimmy yeah, ill fall asleep. But season two, whats happening here now with the queen . Well, pretty much the same sort of stuff but a different period of time. Yeah, no, it starts where we left off in the first series. Jimmy yeah. So no time passes, really. But it is very much about its going into the 60s and we get a visit from jfk and jackie o. , and yeah, so its its being a kind of institution going into the 60s and not really knowing how to keep up with it to be honest. Jimmy i want to show everyone a clip. Heres claire foy as Queen Elizabeth ii in a brand new episode of the crown. This is not actually a clip of that its a clip me watching that clip at home. Take a look. [ laughter ] do you know, ive been queen barely ten years, and in that time, ive had three prime ministers. All of them ambitious men, clever men, brilliant men. Not one has lasted the course. Theyve either been too old, too ill, or too weak. A confederacy of elected quitters. Jimmy come on. Thats how to do it. [ cheers and applause ] claire foy, everybody. Watch season two of the crown available on netflix this friday. When we come back, were going to reveal Sports Illustrateds 2017 sportsperson of the year. You dont want to miss it. Stick around. 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Join over two hundred and fifty thousand people who have chosen humira. Ask your dermatologist about humira and go. Can you pass me that tinsel . Ooh, a pink tree . One. Its millennial pink not seeing the vision. How about a little gold . How about rose gold . Lets do it um, love its time for some straight talk. You want highspeed data that never runs out. You got it. Introducing straight talks ultimate unlimited plan. All the 4g lte data you want. All high speed. And all for just 55 bucks a month. Find out more at straighttalk. Com. Laying guitar got anything new . Yeah. About a small business. So you wanna grow your little movin company. discordant strumming i like it, but what if, uh. to nationwide jingle grow your moving company. I think maybe it oughtta be more like a song than a a jingle. Okay. Yeah, well, do it your way. Of course, people seem to like it. They talk about it all the time. nationwide jingle . They tweet about it, speak to me in jingle tone 24 7. But yeah, yeah, i think a song makes sense. Squeak the melody squeak the melody squeak the melody squeak the melody squeak the melody squeak the melody squeak the melody we bring your family amazing value every day. T. J. Maxx. Marshalls. Homegoods. Family is the greatest gift. How masterpass. That . Masterpass . Masterpass. Nice chair. Thanks. I used masterpass. Masterpass . Yes, masterpass master. Pass . Yes masterpass pass pass was it expensive . Priceless. Ill masterpass you a new one. Masterpass by mastercard. The modern way to pay. But it might be hard to handle like the flame that burns the candle the candle feeds the flame topped steak twisted potatoes at applebees. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. How do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. So i got you one no onesed seemeever heard of. Sive, dont shop like everybody else. Shop ebay for the best deals on the best brands. Ebay [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is super exciting, you guys. Since 1954, Sports Illustrated has presented the sportsperson of the year award to the player, coach, or team who best personifies athletic achievement and sportsmanship on and off the field. And tonight, were going to reveal your 2017 sportsperson of the year honoree right here on the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] the 2017 Sports Illustrated sportsperson of the year is a a threetime nfl defensive player of the year. He raised over 37 million for the city of houston in the wake of hurricane harvey. Ladies and gentlemen, from the houston texans, please welcome j. J. Watt [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there it is. Look at that. Jimmy oh my goodness thats incredible. Jimmy congratulations. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Jimmy so, how does it feel . What is it what does it mean to you to win this award . Oh, its unbelievable. I mean, i think this award, i mean, its sportsperson of the year, but i think jose and i both will tell you that its much more than just two people. Its a whole city, and my on my side, its over 200,000 people who donated money to help rebuild the city so its an award thats so much bigger than sports, and i just i cant thank Sports Illustrated enough and i cant thank all the people out there enough who helped out. Jimmy absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] here it is again. Just get a good look at this. Jose altuve as well. This this awards been given to muhammad ali, derek jeter. I mean this is its a big honor but i think it was pretty clear what youve done this past year is just outstanding. Thank you. Jimmy i mean, for everyone in houston, i will just say, if you dont know this, you should, but you raised so much money for houston. You, i think you had the goal of raising 200,000. Yeah, so i started out we were stranded in dallas. Because of the flooding, so i just wanted to start, do whatever i could to help. And i honestly didnt know if we would reach 200,000. I was like, lets see if we can get 200,000. You were unbelievably generous, donating 1 million over your show, so thank you to jimmy. Jimmy absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] and so many i mean, it just took off. And yeah. Jimmy it moved everybody. But how much did you raise . 37 million. Yeah, we raised over 37 million. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how awesome. Youre just fantastic. Yeah, thank you. I actually jimmy it just shows how great this country is. I actually just had a chance this last week. I was just out i mean ive been on crutches for a while but i was just out visiting some of the sites that were rebuilding. Were going to rebuild hundreds of homes, were gonna rebuild childcare centers. Were gonna distribute a whole bunch of food to all the areas, medical care, and i was just out visiting some of the areas and i mean, its devastating but at the same time, its been so incredible to see the positive spirit that these people have kept throughout such a tough time. Jimmy speaking of [ cheers and applause ] speaking of your injury, how are you feeling, by the way . I feel great. I feel great. I only walk with a cane for two reasons. One, to appease my trainer, and two, to get sympathy from my girlfriend. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] also, its a pretty cool cane. Yeah, i mean they told me i had to have a cane. So i said, well let me have a jimmy look at this thing. I mean good god. Holy moly. I mean i couldnt walk around with like a walker, you know . Jimmy no, yeah, no. Youre j. J. Watt. Yeah, you got to show off. Yeah you got to walk around. That could be just part of your move in life. Just always have a cane. I now have a cane for life. Jimmy yeah thats your move, yeah. I now have a cane so jimmy i totally yeah. I support that, totally. We had altuve on the show. Gosh, i love that guy. The houston astros, he was just unbelievable. And you guys have gotten kind of close. I didnt realize this. Yeah, no, we weve hung out for a few years now. I mean, i take batting practice with the astros. Jimmy do you really . Almost every year. Yeah. But hes better than me at that too. [ laughter ] but no, hes a great guy. Hes so much fun. Hes funloving. I mean, and hes incredible. Hes such an incredible athlete. Hes also like up to the hes like this. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. I mean, thats very interesting. Yeah, we can see. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy youre sitting on a a stool and hes standing up completely. Yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. But hes the man. Hes the man. Jimmy oh hes fantastic. I couldnt get enough of him on t. V. I was watching him, every time i saw him im like he seems like a cool guy. He dances. Yeah, hes the man. Jimmy hes just great and his obviously just hitting homers and doesnt even care. It was the coolest thing. So i was sitting at home watching the world series obviously with everybody and i was out on my back porch and he had hit a home run and you could literally hear the cheers from all over the whole neighborhood. I thought that was jimmy isnt that the greatest . That was one of the coolest things in the whole world and i think thats why its so cool to share the cover with this guy, because i mean, to be able to bring a city together through sports and to be able through of all the seasons you can win a world series, of all the seasons you could ever win your first world series, to do it at a time like this and i saw this one photo where no they didnt have any dry wall in their house, they didnt have any furniture. They were sitting on fivegallon buckets and they were watching a t. V. That they had rigged up and they were watching us win the world series and cheering. And i think that was such a a powerful message that sports are so much bigger than just hitting a ball out of the park. Youre literally lifting peoples spirits and making them forget about what theyre going through for that minute. And i think jose and the guys deserve so much better for that. Jimmy absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] and he he sent you something, right . After they won the world series. Yeah, he did. Jimmy whatd he send you . He sent me a bottle of whiskey, which is always accepted. Jimmy yeah. Jose. Christmas. Jimmy it was christmas, yeah, exactly. Whenever. But it came with a great letter. I mean, it came with a really special letter that i thought was a real class move by jose and it just speaks to the type of person he is. Jimmy we brought the letter here and i was just wondering if you wouldnt mind just maybe reading it to everyone. Yeah, of course. Of course. Jimmy this is for real. Thats right it speaks to the type of person he is. Hes a great guy. So he said, j. J. , from one htown brother to another, thanks for all youve done this year for the city that you call home. Your support for all things houston, from Hurricane Relief to being our number one fan has been nothing short of incredible. So i hope youll accept this fine whiskey gift i gave to all my teammates following our championship run because to me, youre absolutely part of the squad. Cheers, jose. So, i mean thats a good guy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy isnt great . Thats just a great dude right there. [ applause ] i should say, the awards will be aired friday night on Nbc Sports Network. J. J. , were so psyched for that youre here. Were so thankful and happy that you exist. Youre awesome, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] j. J. Watt, everybody. The Sports Illustrated sportsperson of the year. It should hit news stands on wednesday. Tune in friday night at 8 00 p. M. On the Nbc Sports Network to watch the sportsperson of the year awards show. Well be right back with a a performance by st. Vincent. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] sorry. I cant make it. Its just my eczema again, but its fine. Yeah, its fine. You ok . Eczema. Its fine. Hey hi arent you hot . Eczema again . Its fine. I saw something the other day. Eczema exposed. Your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. Maybe you should ask your doctor . Go to eczemaexposed. Com to learn more. Miim alive and have a second chance. James im thankful for the help and the opportunity that i received. Darlene im thankful to be able to help people in crisis. Vanessa im thankful that addiction is treatable, and that help is available. Christie new jersey is experiencing a heroin epidemic fueled by opioid painkillers. But if you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, i want you to know we are here for you. This holiday season, choose help. Call 844 reach nj or visit reachnj. Gov. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he is a grammy winning artist whos new album, masseduction is out now. Performing slow disco please welcome st. Vincent. [ cheers and applause ] i sway in place to a slow disco and a glass for the saints and a bow for the road am i thinking what everybodys thinking im so glad i came but i cant wait to leave slip my hand from your hand leave you dancing with a ghost slip my hand from your hand leave you dancing with a ghost theres blood in my ears and a fool in the mirror and the bay of mistakes couldnt get any clearer am i thinking what everybodys thinking im so glad i came but i cant wait to leave slip my hand from your hand leave you dancing with a ghost slip my hand from your hand leave you dancing with a ghost dont it beat a slow dance to death dont it beat a slow dance to death dont it beat a slow dance to death dont it beat a slow dance to death dont it beat a slow dance to death dont it beat a slow dance to death [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. St. Vincent everybody masseduction is out now. My thanks to keeganmichael key, claire foy, j. J. Watt, st. Vincent once again ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for doing that. And the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. Give it up for them. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight samantha bee, from the crown, actor matt smith, music from steve earle and lucinda williams. Featuring the 8g band with brooks wackerman. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. The Senate Passed a republican tax bill just before 2 00 a. M. On saturday, and if youre wondering if thats a good thing, try to remember the last time anything good happened to you at 2 00 a. M. On a saturday