Season is under way. If youre a chicken wing, this is your last chance to hide because tonight the defending champion new England Patriots hosted the kansas city chiefs. The patriots, you know, are a heavy favorite to win the super bowl again this year. The heaviest favorite since 2000. And the jets on the other hand, they have the longest odds to win for any team ever. The new york jets are 1,000 to 1 to win the super bowl. [ laughter ] if you want to win 1,000, all you have to do is take 1 and buy a scratchoff ticket. Dont bet on the jets. [ laughter ] of course this is an especially exciting time for fans here in los angeles. This year we have not just one but two teams to let us down. [ laughter ] the rams and the chargers. Its kind of funny. People here in l. A. , have any of you decided which team youre going to root for . Its kind of like the last episode of the bachelor. You narrow it down to two. And then maybe you pick one and five months later its over and youre like, what . But you know, they had to cancel one of the games this weekend because of hurricane irma. The dolphins were supposed to host the buccaneers in miami, but theyre pushing the game until later in the season. Hurricane irma is, as you probably know, threatening the state of florida. Winds are upwards of 185 miles per hour. Its very scary. Thousands of people are moving to higher ground. Just to give you an idea of whats going on, this is a picture. I found this on instagram today. You can see this young woman [ laughter ] has been forced to take refuge in a tree. All her clothes were blown off her body except for her boots. [ laughter ] in happier news we have a new bachelor to rally around. They unveiled a fresh new bachelor this morning on gma. Most people thought it was going to be peter, who was the runnerup on the bachelorette. But it was not peter. And i applaud that. Nothing against peter but peters the only contestant in bachelor history to openly say it was ridiculous to propose to someone who was actively dating someone else. [ laughter ] instead they went in a different direction and chose a rare foreignborn bachelor. So take that, donald trump. [ laughter ] the big reveal that everybodys been waiting for. The new bachelor. And you know what . We wont keep you guys waiting any longer. So come on out. [ cheers and applause ] they love it. They love it. Jimmy youre the new bachelor. Muy caliente, guillermo. [ laughter ] i hope your wife doesnt find out about this. Sadly, guillermo is not the real bachelor. Sorry, ladies. That was a joke. This is the guy. This is the new bachelor. His name is ari luyendyk jr. You can see he really practiced holding that rose. Ari is featured on season 8 of the bachelorette. Hes a Real Estate Broker and a race car driver. Thats some combination. Hes never late to an open house. [ laughter ] but aris dad, you may recognize his name. Hes a famous indy car driver. And what woman wouldnt be thrilled to take the name lyin dike. [ laughter ] a lifetime of lu no. Anyway, congratulations to ari. Once he makes it through the Senate Confirmation hearings he will be sworn in as bachelor. Donald trump jr. Was in washington today. You remember him . Djtj . [ laughter ] still trying to get that going but its not taking off. So he sat down with the Senate Committee thats trying to figure out whether or not the Trump Campaign cluolluded with russia and they specifically wanted to know about this meeting he and other key members of the Trump Campaign took with russia during the election. Initially he claimed it was a small meeting about adoption law. Then he admitted the meeting was to get info on hillary. And then it turned out it wasnt just him at the meeting, there were a number of trump staffers in the room including Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner and others, a bunch of them. It was like when a friend finds out you had a Birthday Party and you didnt invite them. You say its just a small thing. Just the family. Then he goes on facebook and sees a picture of everyone diving into your pool. [ laughter ] thats basically what this there were more characters at this meeting than on game of thrones. [ laughter ] donnie jr. Gave a 20minute Opening Statement behind closed doors and then he took questions. He reportedly claimed he did not collude with any Foreign Government and does not know of anyone who did. Said he only took the meeting because he felt it was his responsibility to find out if the russians had any information that could call into question the fitness, character or qualifications of a possible future president of the united states. For real, thats what he has he ever met his father . [ laughter ] fitness, character, qualification. Hes 0 for 3 on those. [ laughter ] anyway, this is not a good time to be donald trump jr. His likability factor right now, somewhere between herpes and the emoji movie. [ laughter ] not a great time to be his father either. [ applause ] his father, who i dont know if youre aware, is the president , held a joint News Conference at the white house today with the emir of kuwait. Watch this closely. Trump did everything in his power to get reporters to ask the emir a question instead of asking one of him. You have a question. Your people have a question. Yes. [ laughter ] go ahead. To the emir. Do you have a question for the emir . Question for the yes. For the emir. My question is for you, mr. President , first. [ laughter ] jimmy are you sure you wouldnt rather ask the emir . [ laughter ] why did i even bother to bring the emir if youre not going to ask him any questions . [ applause ] the emir. The president is still selling merchandise on his campaign website. This is a new item. We monitor it from time to time. Its called the president ial medal. Its a medallion dipped in bronze, just like the real donald trump. [ laughter ] and for only 45 you can have a little version of the president to scowl at some new things. Theres a coffee mug that says i love waking up and remembering that donald trump is president. [ laughter ] well, who doesnt . You just took the words right out of nobodys mouth. [ laughter ] and theyre also selling [ applause ] this is good. Latinos por trump buttons. Marked down from 5 to 4. [ applause ] i dont know how hes going to build that wall. He cant even get mexicans to pay for a button. [ laughter ] this one, this is the best product. This is from the Bradford Exchange. You remember the Bradford Exchange . The people who sell you those things you sell when grandma dies . Well, this is their latest item. Its called the President Trump express. This is a real item. Its a real working electric train inspired by our nations 45th president. Limited time offer. Not available in any no kidding its not available in any store. The Bradford Exchange used to run a lot of tv commercials. And that isnt really the case anymore. I dont know if its not in their budget now or what. But since they didnt make a commercial, we decided to make one for them. And, well, here it is. Together we will make America Great again. Commemorate president donald j. Trumps commitment to getting america back on track with the President Trump express. From the Bradford Exchange. Precision scaled and dramatically decorated, this collectible train set includes the majestic and powerful engine with conductor putin at the helm. [ laughter ] the tweeting car, where the president does all his best thinking. The ben carson quiet car. Shh. [ laughter ] and the clinton caboose. Featuring hillary right where she belongs. Sad. The trump express charges across a highly detailed version of Donald Trumps america. Featuring a championship golf course, the majestic trump tower, accented with 14 karat gold leaf. A fake newsstand. And a lifelike sean spicer, who you can throw under the wheels. [ laughter ] act now and receive an eightfootlong unclimbable border wall, which comes complete with a working catapult to send immigrants back to wherever the hell they came from. If youre an old white guy, youre going to love this train set. With 14 feet of nonlooping track, the President Trump express is sure to go off the rails and crash and burn. Call today to order the President Trump express. The first 30 callers will receive a billy bush bus. You can do anything. Grab them by the [ train whistle ] absolutely free. Made in china. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy id buy that. Were going to take a break. When we come back, i dont know if youve seen this. Theres a video making the rounds of a family, an irish family trying to catch a bat in their kitchen. If youve seen it if you havent, ill show you that video, and well meet the family too. Its great. So stick around. Well be right back. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by ford. girl . On it. Found it imitating explosion okay, so lets. Stop. Dont mess it up squeaking ahhhh eeee all right. chuckle nice come on, dad, lets go for those who know what theyre really building. Always unstoppable. This weendoupons needed for those who know what theyre really building. Womens sonoma and apt. 9 tees just 5. 99 mens croft barrow polos just 7. 99 and jumping beans for baby only stock up save big and get kohls cash. Thursday through sunday only at kohls. Are you ok . What happened . Dad kinda walked into my swing. Huh . Dont you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund . I thud go to the thothpital. There goes the airfair. I dont think Health Insurance will cover all. Of that. 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Get out of your contract with up to a 500 credit to help cover your early termination fee. Go to fiosgigabit. Com [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Abbi jacobson, ilana glazer and music from khalid. I dont know if youve seen this video the of the irish family with a bat in the kitchen. If you havent youre in for a treat. It was posted to facebook on tuesday. It already has millions of views. Heres why. Catch him catch him, denny moml you get out . Denny, will you catch him . Oh, [ bleep ]. Oh. Oh. Catch him, denny. Catch him now, quick. Catch him. Oh, [ bleep ]. Oh maureen, will you stop looking in the door . Oh, jesus. Catch him, denny. Youre doing a great job. Stand up. Oh, did you get him . No, hes there. Hes making a mockery out of you. The dogs pissing. Dad, the dogs actually peeing. Maureen, youre no help behind the door. Youre tiring him out. Hes like mcgregor. Hes got no legs left. Catch him now. Go. Oh, [ bleep ]. Oh oh jimmy well done. There you go. [ cheers and applause ] i like i dont know. Not everyone in that part of the world is braveheart, i guess. [ laughter ] i watched that video like a dozen times. After the eighth time i thought it would be wise to track the family who made it down. And joining us now from their home in kerry, ireland please welcome the flemings. Derry, maureen, and their son sean. [ applause ] thank you. Jimmy thank you for joining us. Is that the kitchen where it all happened . Yeah. This is exactly where it happened. And this is my father and my mother maureen and derry. Squlu couldnt look for different than i imagined you would look from your voice on the thing. Were you expecting a big huge irish fella . Jimmy i dont know what i was expecting. Have you all been vaccinated for rabies, by the way . [ laughter ] yes. Thats all taken care of. Jimmy was this the first time you had a bat in the kitchen . First time we had a bat, yes. But last year we had a robin in the sitting room. It was only natural. Batman and robin. Jimmy batman and robin, yeah. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you shot the video. Did you think that yelling at your dad to catch the bat would help him catch the bat . Oh, yeah. I thought the bat got frightened of my fathers legs, id say. [ laughter ] he was trying to get out the window. It wasnt the bats fault at all. It was my dad standing there in my own soccer shorts that scares him. Jimmy derry, is it comforting to know that in a time of emergency your son will be there to not help at all but just film the whole thing . Thats it. He was petrified of the bat. [ laughter ] jimmy maureen, you were scared of the bat, too. You were hiding behind were you in the closet . She let the bat in. Jimmy oh, youre the one that let the bat in. I see. Even your dog got in on the action. What is your dogs name . Basel. We have him here. Hold on. Jimmy oh, bring basel in. Did anyone sbabesides basil pee during this incident . [ laughter ] at any point did you consider just turning the house over to the bat and moving . [ laughter ] no. It crossed my mind. I was close to the back door. So i was going to leave him. But i seen the whole thing. My dad standing on a chair in the middle of the kitchen trying to take this bat on one v one. But in the end he got the bat. It was a good lad. We look back at it. Jimmy were you all surprised at how many people have watched this video so far . Its absolutely crazy. Jimmy it is. Have people been coming to your house . And taking photographs. They were trying to jimmy what advice would you give other people who wind up having a bat in their kitchen . You can have my father if you want. [ laughter ] jimmy your father really was the hero of this. [ applause ] off the subject of the bat, how are things in ireland right now . Are you excited about our new President Trump over there . Whos that . Whats his name . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, we got never mind. I want to thank you guys. I really hope none of you turns into a vampire after this. But that was a delightful video. If a flying rodent ever invades your home again, please send it to us immediately. Okay . Wed love to check in with you. [ applause ] i have a jimmy whats that . Jimmy. I have something for you. Hold on. My dad is going to give a little irish jig to you. Jimmy oh, an irish jig. Here we go. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy there you go. The fleming family. Thank you, flemings. Well done. Tonight on the show we have music from khalid. From broad city abbi and ilana. And well be right back with david spade. [ cheers and applause ] no, no. K up. The all new 2018 camry. Toyota. Lets go places. Modern life deserves a mits sold out. Ay. Dont fret, my friend. I masterpassed it you can use it online and on your phone i masterpassed it. You got the tickets . Onward playing the hero priceless masterpass. The secure way to pay from your bank dont just buy it. Masterpass it. Shop hundreds of epic deals no coupons needed bath towels and pillows three for 10 food network dinnerware just 49. 99 and save on American Tourister luggage. Stock up save big and get kohls cash. Thursday through sunday only at kohls. Do we have any irish people in our audience . Poor mouth breather. Allergies . Stuffy nose . Cant sleep . Take that. A breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than allergy medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. Breathe right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi there. Welcome back. Tonight, two very funny people. They have a show called broad city. The new season premieres on wednesday night on Comedy Central. Abbi jacobson and ilana glazer are here. [ cheers and applause ] and then this show recently took home the trophy for best new artist at the vmas on mtv. This album is called american teen. Khalid from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, who do we have . Oh, this will be great. Christian slater will be here, great Richard Lewis will join us and well have music from jack johnson. And next week. Do you know . Guillermo, do you know . Nobody pays attention to Anyone Around here. [ laughter ] sean spicer will be here next week. Thats right. [ applause ] unless the president finds out. In which case he may get called back to active duty. So that will be a lot of fun, please join us then. Our first guest tonight is one of the funniest men ever to share his name with a garden tool. Hes a star of stage and screen who returns to tv on the mayor. It premieres october 3rd here on abc. Please welcome david spade. [ cheers and applause ] hey hey, guys. Jimmy welcome, welcome. Nice to see you all. Jimmy you look well. You look tan. You look rested. You do. I last time i was here remember i hosted the show for you . Jimmy yeah, you did host. Thank you for doing that. Great job, by the way. [ applause ] you did a great job with that. It was harder than i thought. You do a nice job with it. Jimmy what was harder . Theres a lot going on. Working with this joker for starters. Guillermo, we were buddies, remember . And then you unfollowed me on instagram the next day. [ laughter ] jimmy no. Yeah. Jimmy he did . Its all biz. I get it. But we had a great time guillermo it was cinco de mayo. Jimmy its a tradition in that community to unfollow people unfollow your fake friends . Yeah. So that happened. But it was a great time. I had one interview that was a little tough. Jimmy i did see that. Well, you know, it was kind of weird. Well, Courteney Cox was your first guest. She was great. Jimmy and it was great. You seemed know her a little bit. It was easier. Then i thought i was sort of in the clear because guy ritchie i had seen out and jimmy the director. He directed king arthur. And i hadnt seen the movie yet of course. But it turns out no one did. [ laughter ] no, i wanted to but i was sick that day. So what happened was jimmy you know, they sometimes stay in the theaters for months. This one did not get jammed in the theater forever. It got out of there. But i do like the guy and i did think he was there to be interviewed. He didnt seem to want to be interviewed. Jimmy he didnt seem to want to talk to you it seemed like. It was a weird thing. He would ask a question and then there was theres a point where i go do you want me to talk for a while . Then i talked and he sort of listened to me. But afterwards he goes great job. I go, me . [ laughter ] i thought we were going to get in a fight. But overall it was good. Jimmy after that interview you sent me an email and i think you were serious when you said this. You were like, was that a prank . Yeah. I thought he tricked me. I thought you put in a guy to be tough on me. And see what i would do. Obviously i was floundering. I thought it was a cheap trick. Jimmy you know, if i knew you better, if because i feel like i would have maybe done that if we knew each other better. But i feel like we only see each other on the show and then at Charity Events specifically. Well, listen, i do a lot of charity stuff. Im a great guy. Jimmy youre one of the most charitable people in the world. [ laughter ] on tv i come off like a tough guy, hardass athlete. But in real life [ laughter ] but in real life i am i remember one some of these are really fun. They make them fun. Youre giving money, youre trying to help. Sean penn is sort of a buddy of mine and he has a thing for hati. He goes to haiti. There was a big earthquake a few years back. He literally gets in there. Im not exactly like that. Like he invites me down there, im like no chance. You know. Im sort of a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] by the way, i dont for sure know where haiti is. If you had a gun to my head i couldnt tell you on the map. But ive heard nice things. But then he goes were having a big celebrity like thing at the montage a mile from your house. I go, okay, i can go to that. So i went there. And then you give money and they have bands play and its like 300 celebs, rich people. So i go, cool. But then i brought a girl, trying to puff up, naturally, like a loser. Im walking in like charlize, pow, pow. Hey, everybody. Everyones like, what . And then i get in and then theres you know, they have these auctions where they have these big ticket items and they have really cool things and you youre a little buzzed so you buy them. And it goes right to the charity. So its great. So they had she goes are you going to bid on anything . I go, oh, yeah. Stay close. Theres going to be some money flying around. Jimmy theres a guy on stage and they sort of bully you. Jimmy embarrass you. And seans up there. So they go i go, theres Paul Mccartney tickets and front row and a meet and greet and Bruce Springsteen and a meet and greet and front row. I go thats pretty cool. Shes staring at me. Do you know who Paul Mccartney is . Shes like, dude, i dont know who maroon 5 is. Im young, youre old. Is that a problem . No, no, no. [ laughter ] but i go im going to bid on that. She goes great. I might go up to 20 k. 20 large. I go, shh, dont worry about it, just buckle up. So i have my little paddle. And seans like all right, the mccartney tickets. And i go like this. I go, i get my paddle. Starting 50 grand. I go, huh . [ laughter ] what did you say . It was noisy. And then he goes 50. I go no, no, no. Dont you start at 1 and then you go up . I go thats my top. And he goes, 50. Then he goes 60, 70. 80, spade . Were back to spade . [ laughter ] shes sort of less turned on at this point because she sees me freaking out. I had this big asap rocky thing going for a second. Now im like woody allen. [ laughter ] i go no, no, no. I dont then i see dicaprio like whos the cheapskate . Everyones craning around. 80. Jimmy oh, you did . I go 80. Then they go 90. 100. Back to me. I go, 100,000 . Meanwhile, im like what are those tickets, 600 face value . So i go and i see charlize looking over. And i go [ bleep ]. So i go and then she and i go, well, 100. Okay. Obviously not happy at all about the charity or anything. Uhhuh. And then im looking to see if my show got picked up. Im looking at my phone going [ laughter ] oh, my god. And then they pull the full dipsy doodle which ive never seen anything. 125 over there . I go please, please, anyone. You rich mother fers save me. And they go 125. And sean goes, spade 125 . I go no, no, no. Thats not how it works. Im the 100 guy. [ laughter ] someone has to beat me. Come on. What a trick. Everyones like spade, spade jimmy oh, no. 125. Jimmy you paid it . Yeah. Is that unreal . Jimmy you know what . [ applause ] so tragic. I was literally quivering. And then shoop, a team of like nine people, sign here, press hard, four copies, carbon copy. Jimmy they want it right away. They just get it right away. And they scram while youre still like euphoric. Jimmy but the good news is you are a hero to the people of haiti. Im sure there are probably billboards around portauprince. [ applause ] this money i get for this show, 400 or whatever, is the final payment. Jimmy its the final payment. David spade is here. His show is called the mayor. Well be right back. During our made to move 2017 clearance event, you can do endless online research. Or, you can take advantage of our best offer ever on an xt5. Dont wait. Our 2017 models will be moving fast. You can drive a car. Or you can drive a cadillac. Come in now before the end of our made to move 2017 clearance event and leave with the perfect cadillac xt5 for your next adventure. Choose a low mileage lease on this xt5 for around 339 per month. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. 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Assume n just like the leading brand, kraft real mayo is made with high Quality Ingredients at a price you can feel good about no wondekr endless shrimp is back at red lobster and we went all out to bring you even more incredible shrimp and new flavors like new Nashville Hot shrimp drizzled with sweet amber honey, and new grilled mediterranean shrimp finished with a savory blend of green onions, tomatoes, and herbs. Feeling hungry yet . Good, cuz theres plenty more where these came from. Like garlic shrimp scampi, and other classics you love. As much as you want, however you want em. But hurry, endless shrimp wont be here long. Jimmy hi. Were back with david spade, who has a show coming to abc next month. The show is called the mayor. Are you the mayor on the show . I am a mayor. Like it starts out that im a mayor and theres a kid brandon hall. Hes a rapper. And in the First Episode hes just trying to he wants to promote his mix tape. Its sort of an urban city. So he thinks hell run and just talk about his mix tape and promote it. But he doesnt want to be mayor but he does it for press. And then because everyone relates to him and not me they vote for him and they boot me out. Jimmy oh, so you are the Hillary Clinton of this show. [ laughter ] yeah. So i was sort of just done there. But then they so now im like the bad guy. Now hes trying to make the city better and im the guy trying to make it worse. Jimmy i like that. So did that mean you had to work all summer to prepare this show . I did a little bit. But i dont right now im sort of coming in and out and its more their show. But its pretty funny. Weve done a few of them. Im the white guy on it. Jimmy its about time you played the white guy on a show. [ laughter ] yeah, its funny because whitey needs a break. Jimmy there are just no good roles for white guys. Im out there struggling. [ laughter ] but i went jimmy it was your haiti karma that really i know. Im old and white and like im in the worst scenario. But i did go ive been going to the doctor a lot, which is awesome. Jimmy you have . Why . Just problems. Jimmy oh, really . No, no. I remember i was getting fat once. And you know jimmy when was this . This was a while ago. But i look great now. Listen. Jimmy you do. [ applause ] and i know no. Im an not a 10, jimmy. Im a 6 or a 7. I read the internet. [ laughter ] im more personality driven. But when i i was gaining weight. I didnt know it once. And we were doing grownups 2. Oh, a couple people remember . [ applause ] they have to give you send you to the doctor when you get a physical for the movie, like a Football Player or something. Jimmy oh, right. But these are like fake i thought. You go in there and blah, blah, you tell the guy. So i go im here for my physical. Anyway, you want to eyeball me . All good . And he goes, sit down, lets get the test. I go, you really want to do this . And he goes, yeah. Im in the movie. Jimmy yeah, usually its a formality kind of thing. And he goes, yeah. How much do you weigh . I dont know. I always weigh about 145. He goes, mm. I go whats that face . He goes, lets jump on the scale, bud. Wait. I go, Adam Sandlers going to hear about this. [ laughter ] always use adam. Always. He goes, oh, im willing to risk it. So i get up on the scale, which is one of these old clanky ones. You know in a Doctors Office its like a big chunk for 100 pounds. I go do these even work . I go, all right. And i go guess what . I weigh 145. I put the big chunker like this. Im going to stand up. On 100. And then the top one it goes along, you know. I put that on 45. And i go, watch this. And then i go pop the shoes off, of course. And i go and i get up. And it goes chang and i go sort of scared everyone in the office. [ laughter ] and then he goes, step off. And i go whats with this thing of course. Then he puts the big chunk to 150. Kadij. No, no. He puts the other one to zero. Hes like try again. I get a few quarters out. Socks come off. Then i get on. And the humiliating kakakaka. Kakakaka arm hurts, you know. [ laughter ] then at the end it goes i go, okay, okay. Yeah. I had gained 20 pounds. 165. Did not know it. I hide it. [ laughter ] i did not know it. It and its not like girls, gain it in their boobs. I did not gain it in my wiener. [ laughter ] and if that happened with guys that would be so great. Id be going to taco bell, going circles in the drivethru. I see chris rock on the set. And i go, can you believe i gained 20 pounds . He goes, yeah. [ laughter ] what do you mean . He goes, spade, you were getting in a val kilmer area. When hes on the beach . He goes, mmhmm. People are whispering. So i think its just a jimmy its good to have a friend like that. Hes a great guy. Really gives it to me. Jimmy after its happened. And theres nothing you can do about it. And then im lumpy on grownups. Because we dont work out. Im not like the rock getting up at 3 00 a. M. To work out every day. Jimmy i disagree. I think you are a lot like well, now i am. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy your body is irresistible. Its very good to see you. The show is called the mayor. It premieres october 3rd. [ cheers and applause ] and you can see david live with Dennis Miller on november 3rd at the winstar casino in thackerville, oklahoma. Thats right. Jimmy well be right back with Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer. [ cheers and applause ] when i look at you, i look back on my life and i know what it was for. What if i struggled. What if i sacrificed. And what if i swore id succeed. So you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. Well then, my great granddaughter. It would all be worth it. No splashing wait so you got rid of verizon, just like that . Uhhuh. I switched to tmobile, kept my phoneeverything on it oh, they even paid it off wow yeah. Its nice that every bad decision doesnt have to be permenant ditch verizon. Keep your phone. Well even pay it off when you switch to americas best unlimited network. Havent you ever wanted sowatch your step. Ry . A pilot like you should be serving your country. Youre c. I. A. . Shh. Based on an incredible true story. We need you to deliver stuff for us. Of the c. I. A. s biggest secret. Is this all legal . You trust me . No. On september 29. C. I. A. , d. E. A. Pablo escobar. I made a fortune working for them boys. There are bills blowin around everywhere. Ill rake it up in the mornin. Tom cruise. Stop now if you want. Shoot the gringo it gets crazy from here. American made. Rated r. When you switch to progressive. Winds stirring. Too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, ive taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. But the prize at the top is worth every last breath. Here we go. [ grunts ] got em. Ahh. Wait a minute. 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If you answered yes to any of these questions, theres only one way fran grenier. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow, look at that beautiful stage. Still to come music from khalid. Eight years ago our next guests started with a very funny web series that turned into a very funny tv show, which is now in its fourth season. So dreams really do come true, kids. Broad city returns to Comedy Central wednesday night at 10 30. Please say hello to Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, ladies. Hi. Jrmt y jimmy you look great. You really look like youve grown up. How are things going . Were really old now. Jimmy youre elderly women now. Things are good . Everythings solid, i hope . You know, today was a great day. Jimmy what happened today . We had a crazy day today. Okay. We met some like precious older jewish men. And one of them was larry king. [ laughter ] and he fell in love with this queen. In the middle of the interview he was asking me about like gymnastics and dance. And then hes like, yeah, yeah, but you, to abbi. Youre the sensual one. Jimmy larry king said that . Sensual. Like it was sensual of him to say. Jimmy the sensual one. I was wearing a turtleneck. [ laughter ] and yet your sensuality punched right through. Listen, i take it where i can get it. Jimmy larrys half turtle. So thats the sort of thing that turns him on. [ laughter ] you know, i should have known. I should have known going in. I was asking for it. Jimmy his mother was a turtle. Yeah. Thats true. A jewish turtle. Jimmy this new season of the show. Its been how long has it been since the last season of the show . Its been larry told us 17 months. I never counted the months. Jimmy that seems like a really is this potrelated, the reason it took so long . [ laughter ] yeah. You know, part of it was like our show feels like this summer show because were always sweaty and were always playing on the summer vibe. Jimmy yeah. Thats true. And we wanted to have this winter story because new york in the winter is such a different city than in the summer. And yeah, and we just did a couple other projects. We each did a movie. Jimmy so there was no you werent dragging. It was intentional. It was intentional. And yeah, we had a break in the we wrote it all and we had a break and then we had an opportunity to rewrite. Jimmy i see. You guys have great guest stars. And i think what makes them great is sometimes very surprising to me the people that because if youve not seen the show its a crazy show. And some of the people that are on the show do not belong on the show. And then they wind up like kelly ripa, for instance, had an unbelievable episode. Do you have that this season . Everybody feels very fitting. But the person that is the most surprising is shania twain. Jimmy shania twain is a guest star on the show. Shania twain does comedy for us. We originally made a joke because i lie that im training shania twain. It sounds like training. And that was a joke from season 1. Shes like twain whatever. Train yeah. Exactly what you did. And then we got her on the show this season and shes so funny. Hysterical. That was the unexpected one. But everyone else this year, we had incredible people jimmy who else is on . Wanda sykes was incredible. Jimmy shes great. Jane curtin. Jimmy wow, jane curtin is on the show. Kerry gilpin. From frasier. Roz from frasier. Rupaul. Fran drescher. Jimmy wow. Youve got the nanny. Youve got rupaul. Who was the most fun steve buscemi. Jimmy yeah, its buscemi. People say buscemi. He was very claes to ear to me buscemi. I think hes okay either way. You had i assume that some of them are more fun than others. Who was the most and who was the least fun . It wasnt even like it wasnt even more fun or like there are winners and losers. But it was like rupaul is an unbelievable divine soul. Jimmy rupaul is . Really . Rupaul [ applause ] wait until you see that queen on this show. Im not in any scenes with rupaul, unfortunately. Jimmy oh. But i met her, you know, on set. And in between all the scenes that rupaul you know, theres a couple. Its a restaurant scenes. He does he is obsessed and has created this game wait. Dirty yeah. I almost said sexy charades. Jimmy dirty charades. Now, you guys mentioned this to one of our producers. Will you demonstrate the game . Because im curious as to how it goes. I dont know anything. All i know is we have a bowl with so its like charades. Jimmy okay. But dirty. So you have to take popular names of films or tv shows. Like okay. So i watched out here coming to l. A. I watched the bridges of madison county. And it would be the bulges of madison county. Jimmy not the bitches of madison county. Ooh. Jimmy see, i would be good at this. Can i tell you mine, jimmy . Because its so bad. Jay yea jimmy yeah. Instead of slum dog millionaire [ bleep ] dog millionaire. Jimmy that is a good one. It will be bleeped out at home but people are definitely shocked. Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy do you want to try one . So you have to act out you have to take it a step farther and make it into a pun and act it out. We cant talk. We can talk, you cant. Jimmy we guess. Film. Movie. Jimmy what is, that movie or tv show. Come on, jimmy. Jimmy this is tv. First word. I dont know. Me. Abbi. Ilana. Jimmy the audience. A group. People. Persons. Jimmy humans. Uh. Us. All. All. Everyone . Okay. Jimmy everyone. Oh, i think i know it already. Everyone loves. Raymonds butthole. [ laughter ] no. Second word is everybody [ bleep ] raymond. Yes. [ applause ] i was watching rupaul, he basically just did a lot to me. Jimmy i hope he boxes that up and makes it a board game because thats really terrific. I apologize, guys. Jimmy its very good to see you. The season 4 premiere of broad city wednesday night at 10 30 on Comedy Central. [ cheers and applause ] Abbi Jacobson and ilana glazer, everybody. Well be right back with khalid. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Your babys chubby little hand latches onto your finger so hard, its like shes saying i love you. Thats why aveenos oat formula is designed for your babys sensitive skin. Aveeno®. Naturally beautiful babies. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i want to thank david spade. I want to thank abbi and ilana. I want to apologize to matt damon. We did run out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first, here with the song young dumb and broke from his album american teen, khalid [ cheers and applause ] so youre still thinking of me just like i know you should i cannot give you everything you know i wish i could im so high at the moment im so caught up in this yeah were just young dumb and broke but we still got love to give while were young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke Young Dumb Broke High School Kids yadadadadadadada yadadadadadada yadadadadadadada Young Dumb Broke High School Kids we have so much in common we argue all the time you always say im wrong im pretty sure im right whats fun about commitment when we have our life to live yeah were just young dumb and broke but we still got love to give while were young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke Young Dumb Broke High School Kids yadadadadadadada yadadadadadada yadadadadadadada Young Dumb Broke High School Kids jump and we think do it all in the game of love love run into sin do it all in the name of fun fun whoa oh oh im so high at the moment im so caught up in this yeah were just young dumb and broke but we still got love to give while were young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke young dumb young young dumb and broke Young Dumb Broke High School Kids yadadadadadadada yadadadadadada yadadadadadadada Young Dumb Broke High School Kids yadadadadadadada yadadadadadada yadadadadadadada Young Dumb Broke High School Kids [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, paradise lost. The caribbean islands ravaged by hurricane irma. The category 5 monster destroying thousands of buildings and homes. Now the newest tool in search and rescue, drones, offering more than just eyes in the sky. Tying safety lines in floods. How this highflying tech could save lives in florida as irma approaches. Plus she give me money fake shoes. They might look like kanyes yeezies but these shoes have no sole. Inside the world of counterfeit footwear. Gold diggers dream. But its not a victimless crime. Its a big business thats controlled like criminals. Were on a raid with lapd