Dear Care and Feeding,
I have a 14-year-old daughter, “Anne,” from my first marriage. Her dad and I met when he was in a monogamous marriage to someone else, which I knew. We had an affair, I got pregnant, and he divorced his wife and married me. Anne doesn’t know any of this; she thinks we just met through work (which is true!) and her dad was already divorced, but I’m starting to think I should tell her. For one thing, her much-older cousins know, and I’m worried they’ll let it slip one day. For another, I don’t want to lie to her anymore, even by omission she’s too old.