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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150226

Not a force for good okay, i can handle pathat. laughter but megyn in his later years. laughter i am only 52. I got four to five productive years left, and then about 10 to 15 that with mostly ehhh. And then i guess, you know, the last four or five angry, confused years, or as theyre sometimes referred to, the fox news viewer demo years. laughter applause you know what, im just kidding. Its all good. Everybodys entitled to their opinion. What he added to our political discourse was largely sarcasm, insults, and dishonest editing. You know its clearly selective editing of clips. I can speak personally to a lot of the attacks that were levied on me had no footholds in the facts. Dishonest and no foothold in the fact . You have casted aspertions upon my honor laughter and i demand satisfaction laughter i challenge you, fox news to a lieoff. laughter cheers and applause your distortions and lack of fact footholds against mine. To start us off here are 50 of yoursyours in six seconds. clock

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150226

Good lord were the same person. This is so weird. Okay so what does this space genius cook up there in the heavens, anyway. Some 250 miles above earth the u. S. Astronauts outside the International Space station are rigging the parking spots for two commercial space taxies. Oh great, there are going to be space taxies . Well that sucks for black astronauts. cheers and applause larry taxi. Okay. You cant hear anything in space right . laughter thats my gravity impression. All right. Look my astronaut brother being awesome isnt the only exciting space story. Were going mars or at least thats the plan from private Space Exploration company mars one. Their mission is set to lift off in the year 2024. And it will bring two dozen lucky people to the red planet. Larry going to mars yes. Thats what im talking about. S. Try to get us up there isis if you ares so bad. Mars. applause and the best part of this its a private company. See, this is how private enterprise works. Cosmonazis, right. Thi

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150227

Lets look at a clip from sundays oscars, i think it will give us a good concept. It is our time to have Wage Equality once and for all. And equal rights for women in the United States of america. Larry okay now that is an issue that people are very familiar with you know women arent making as much as men but you might not know this part of it. Lets play this. When you talk about the issue of equal pay were especially suffering, the wage gap with white women is 78 cents to the dollar for black women its 46 cents to the dollar. Larry i will start with you because you talked about this. Is this a real number . What is the origin of this . How do we even get there. Right, we need to think about this historically. So i will just choose the new deal with fdr right. Larry thats going back too far. Coy go back. You were making i could go back even further but lets take fdr had to make concessions with white southerners so he excluded black domestics, so if you exclude black domestics to make t

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150327

This is the the nightly show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause larry all right thank you very much thank you audience chanting larry thank you, thank you. Welcome to the the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Tonight were doing something special. Were going on break next week, and there are a ton of stories in the news that wed love to cover at length, but we just dont have the time. So were gonna hit em and quit em. Its time for stuff that cant fill a whole show but we wanted to get in before we go on break. applause lets do this topic randomizer, give us our first story go oh people joining i. S. I. S. Yeah, this is crazy. Just today, two National Guardsmen were caught trying to join i. S. I. S. This keeps going on a few weeks ago, there was a guy in the air force. But the one i really cant wrap my head around is this. Younger and younger teenagers are going off to fight with i. S. I. S. 15yearold school girls disappearing off into syria. Larry fifteen . see, t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150314

Valued constituency, iowa agrabusiness multimillionaire bruce rassetter to assure the voters of not new jersey that he christie, has the chops to cut them the best trade deals. You have to have the right person in the oval office negotiating these agreements. The president doesnt know how to negotiate. Jon the president doesnt know how to negotiate . Let me tell you something christie you think that milktoast criticism of the president is going to get you the republican nominations . Youre looking for the republican nomination. I believe the criticism youre looking for is the president doesnt negotiate like most americans. laughter the president didnt grow up with buy lowsell high American Values like our parents benghazi. Thats what youre trying. And by the by, christie knows negotiating, just take a recent example. In 2004, new jersey sued exxon for 9 billion in restoration and restitution relating to the chemical bleep of a large area of new jersey that many of you have probably dri

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