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Two weeks after Jarrett Booker, a New Hampshire youth pastor, died by suicide following allegations of child sexual abuse, his wife expresses a tumultuous mix of emotions in a Facebook post, acknowledging the destructive nature of sin and praying for those harmed by her husband’s actions.

Jarrett Booker, a father, husband and pastor of students and worship at Nashua Baptist Church in New Hampshire, left his family, friends and church community with a double dose of shock and grief when he died by suicide two days after being fired for allegedly sexually abusing minors. He was 37.