Barry Sheerman Lab News Today

The scourge of Rachmanite landlords operating in West Yorkshire has been raised in Parliament 

Alarm bells erupted in the Commons, the sort of klaxons you get in James Bond films when the villains lair is under attack. For a moment the Speakers eyes widened with apprehension.

QUENTIN LETTS: Mr Chalk, in slender tie and elegant suit, was flawlessly grave. There was no acidity. We had no raging at the bunglers who failed to stop Khalifes kitchen-van escape.

HENRY DEEDES: Rishi Sunak was left staggering in the Commons yesterday under the weight of accolades heaped upon him by Conservative MPs.

Jonathan Ashworth, the shadow health secretary Credit: Parliament/Jessica Taylor/PA Wire Something strange is happening in politics. The two main parties seem to have swapped places. Traditionally, the Tories have been the ones who argue for tighter border controls – while Labour MPs shift uncomfortably in their seats, and look if they’d rather be talking about anything else. Suddenly, however, it’s the other way round. It’s Labour MPs baying for tighter border controls – while a Tory...

Matthew Hancocks voice suddenly dropped an octave. That bossy, head prefects tone had descended into a deep, dark growl. It was like he was performing a voiceover to a horror movie trailer. He informed the House that there had been a sudden surge in infections around the South of England. A new variant of the virus had been unearthed. That word variant was accompanied by a lowering of the eyes and a sharp roll of the tongue. Varrrrrriant. His dramatic tone conjured images of a snarling, mutated...