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Understand that very well. Hoojerat anominus. Tim apple. laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, what happened in vegas . Plus stephen welcomes mayor rahm emanuel and musical guest Hailee Steinfeld, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey nice to see you sch cheers and applause thats a good feeling beautiful, beautiful hello audience chanting stephen he...

Coronavirus is up. This planet is going to pure l n a handbasket. They just identified this new case of coronavirus in the state of california. And its curious, because the person who got it didnt go anywhere or come into contact with anyone who went to one of these travel hotspots. Last night i ordered post mates, and before i let him in i made the delivery guy spray himself down with the hose. Theyve deployed Remote Control tanks in china that shoot disinfectant onto the citizenry. That should...

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Alex Rodriguez kj apa musical guest haim and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1221 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Hello. Thank you. [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it youre here. [ cheers and applause fantastic. Well, you guys, it was a a Beautiful Day here in new york, with temperatures hitting 70 degrees [...

The stock market today suffered its worst day since 2008, while great person trump suffered his worst day he was at m. I. T. He taught at m. I. T. For, i think, a Record Number of years. He was a great super genius, since, i dont know, yesterday [ laughter ] dr. John trump i like this stuff. President Trumps White House i really get it. Social media director, this people are surprised that i weekend, shared a video of understand it. Former Vice President joe biden every one of these doctors said...

I hadnt. The work of his administration, seth yeah. I actually never watched any the risk to the American People of them. But im a huge horror fan. Seth was that something you remains, quote, very low. Do you got into as a kid . Oh, yeah. When i was, like, 11 or 12, i dont worry, under trump, youre used to get together with my girlfriends. Much more likely to die from and wed host sleepovers something else, like, and wed watch scary movies embarrassment. Which now seems really bad [ laughter ] s...

[ laughter ] seth hes hes a doctor why do you think he knows more than he does do you do this during your actual doctors appointments mr. President , it looks like you have an undigested hamburger lodged in your stomach. No, youre wrong, thats just my second heart. [ laughter ] trump probably thinks he knows more about actual doctors because this guy was his actual doctor do you remember him . The guy who looks less like a doctor, and more like hes hiding in the witness protection program. [ lau...

To get real rapid test could be a game changer. Spread. Our reporter in the hot zone. No mask. Sold out. Inside princess diamond, i was so scared. Now, answers for your family here at home. Outbreak, what you need to know. Heres david muir. Good evening, everyone, and thanks for joining us for this live special edition of the 20 20 tonight. For the next two hours were going the break down all the details of the coronavirus. Where its spreading. Were going start with the breaking news. The Vice P...

Faithful. Youll have a butt clean enough to eat off of. So dont worry about the t. P. Shortage, come to ted bidets budget bidets and get the water up your squatter. Squatter. Stephen welcomes john oliver, and musical guest, alex ebert. With jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live onape from a safe distance, its stephen clbert stephen fire hello. Welcome to day two of my special quarantine edition of the late show with stephen colbert. Or as were calling it tonight, the flame show with stephen ...

Frozen 2, equally annoying in every language. [ laughter ] there were plenty of controversial moments. I think trump gained another 15 of the vote after those acceptance speeches last night. Bottom line, dont expect to see the joker doing a got milk commercial anytime soon. [ laughter ] the big winner last night was parasite. The movie won four oscars, including best picture. Parasite, if you havent seen it you should. Its very good. Is a south korean film that tells the story of a family who co...

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests seth meyers, Whitney Cummings musical guest puss n boots and featuring the legendar roots crew questlove 1219 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much, everybody welcome. [ cheers and applause thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here youre watching. I appreciate it. Well, you guys, earlier today, Elizabeth Warren announced that she is droppin...