Page 37 - Cold Open News Today

>> absolutely. rand paul is looking for those voters. [ laughter ] before we go, "saturday night live" came through with the impersonation weve all been waiting for for months. larry david as bernie sanders. here was last nights cold open from "saturday night live." >> what is your position on the big banks? >> eh. [ laughter ] not a fan of the banks. they trample on the middle-class, they control washington. and why do they chain all their pens to the desks? whos trying to steal a pen from a ba...

Good. no strategy, syria. at one point he said, we should level roca. >> they are trolling the white house. >> saul might be my favorite character on tv. >> saul is a great actor. >> amazing. >> "princess bride noo n" the greatest. what about tv stealing the headlines? >> in terms of law enforcement, it makes it relevant, it makes it real. i think that in some cases, people get more information from a program like that than they do from the news. do you like "homeland"? >> i like "homeland" and ...

Fought for ramadi and won ramadi twice tells us what needs to be done now. and have the boy scouts gone pc? no more water balloons or squirt gun fights because its too unfriendly. and a squirt gun is now considered a firearm. cant kids just be kids like back in the old days when i was a child? get off my lawn. >> get the supersoakers. >> well tell you about that and so much more. we have a busy two hours starting now live from new york city. i tell you that was a first. you stopped the show ...

With an epic cold open. that is what we call it in the biz. but i would argue that open was red hot. >> whoa! >> the real hillary clinton has not addressed the scandal yet. she passed this morning, but it is suggesting she will speak on it this week. but her alter ego did. >> so i shall rise again like a phoenix, like a hillary clinton and i will ascend to the high office of president and claim my rightful place in history. if i choose to run. i dont know. i dont know. im so iffy on the whole th...

This real, real worry in russia and ramifications globally, let me play this for everyone. this is a commercial running on russia tv teeing up this state of the union. this is what they saw. >> the narration. the pictures. voted 15th year in a row as russias man of the year. how do russians view their leader. >> to me it looks like a cold open. its like any show in the united states would put on but its for a presidential news conference. this is an annual news conference. it goes on for hours a...

Election. >> they will have the noncrazy candidates? is that what shesç saying? that is not all. their secret strategy to bring class warfare back. we know you missed it. its back. >> that was a long cold open. a familys car goes up in flames in the middle of a lion enclosure. do you stay and run from the fire and into the lions or do you suck it up and inhale the smoke? the life-and-death decision they made coming right up. mornings are better with friends. >> this is toby keith and youre wat...

>> it is hard to know what is ot know meaning they are incompetent or are they lying about it? are they keeping the numbers from the public because they are too embarassing? >> i dont know. but when you become the topic of the cold open on "saturday night live," its a bad sign. did you see that last night? this is the opening line. >> lets keep this going, the sign-up is on monday. >> i think if you trust mara, shell get you 10 million new sign-ups on healthca$9:uju in the next 48 hours. >> so w...

In just a bit. >> that is your shot of the morning. kcpq who went to their live reporter who was talk being what the mud slides that was coming. they never cued him so hes talking about the rangers. >> good thing he wasnt talking about something else. >> no kidding! that could happen to us at any time. when he realizes that, his face is priceless. he was talking to someone off camera about the rangeers. >> hes not a fan. >> thats our cold open from hell that we hope never happens to us. >> lets ...

2014. health care. rick tyler is a republican strategist. jonathan allen is politicos white house bureau chief. rick, if i were to come to you as a perspective republican candidate, now that the affordable care act has been put into effect and people are getting insurance who heretofore couldnt get insurance, would your advice be to argue for repeal or reform? >> well, what ive been saying to all my candidates is the affordable care act, it cant work. its a lead airplane. though people claim the...

So its a success for the president because its another 5% to 10% of your life under government. that was the whole purpose of obama care from the start. >> lets -- >> wait, julie, lets tell the seniors they cant afford health care. >> julie, you are paying more. >> youre getting off topic. well stay on affordable health care, whether its affordable or not. michelle, in the cold open, we rolled a little bit of sound from a gentleman who his health insurance at school was lifted. the school bowie ...