Page 204 - Comedy News Today

jerry: whered you get those? kramer: the machine. you want one? jerry: no. henry winkler: you come home, turn on that television. kramer: take one. jerry: i dont want one! kramer: no there good... jerry: i dont want it. henry winkler: what do you want? you want comedy. kramer: take one! jerry: no! kramer stop it! jason alexander: and boom, there you go, a situation comedy. sheldon: bazinga! tim allen: this twenty -three minutes of magic. lucy: its so tasty, too! tracy morgan: you fell ...

love it and well give you an award for it. carson: and so it has come to this. fallon: i thought that johnny carson came with the tv set. leno: what the hell were you thinking? ray: dave was the new johnny, for me. letterman: im not exactly a computer. slow down. meyers: it felt... edgy before i was probably old enough to appreciate what edgy was. man: you better be as good as letterman. obrien: ill give it a shot. obrien: my heart dropped through my butt. it exited my butt. stewart: h...

we start here in the uk — and the fourth day of campaigning ahead of the general election on the 4th ofjuly. labour says it wont raise income tax or national insurance, if it wins power. the pledge was made by the shadow chancellor, rachel reeves, speaking to the bbc, but she didnt rule out some spending cuts, saying there would be "difficult decisions" to make. leila nathoo has more. thank you very much. she wants to decide how taxpayers money is spent. rachel reeves making her pitc...

fleabag: im not obsessed with sex. i just cant stop thinking about it. dan levy: sexuality has come a long way in sitcom history. larry: can you donate a penis to a person whos transitioning? michael gross: laughter is a great way to deal with a very tricky world. george: daddy horny, michael elizabeth meriwether: sitcoms talk about sex... claire: my underwear. phil: my god. elizabeth meriwether: and about relationships. issa: im breaking up with him tonight. margaret cho: these shows ...

that was my home away from home i may million dollars in las vegas las vegas always so the fusion, you can indulge in any way you like and the only way you find out what you can do is if you do then the 70s, you start to sense the old days are over. >> you can just see that las vegas lost its mojo. >> howard hughes asked for permission to buy another gambling proceeds this one in reno. >> and how would use key man in a corporate mentality took over i like to get their report with an au...

"i cant deal with this much stress." kimmel: have a good weekend, everybody! im getting the hell out of here. >> i can deal with this much stress good weekend, everybody. im hitting the hell out of here its not necessary to salute, sir. >> just your hand over your heart. theres enough when we come on, he was plenty. >> the end, the aura about them may look at the killer whale we eat himself on your carpet who is the king of late night but he was still alive never occurred to me that th...

fox news saturday night. coppin. ♪ >> welcome to fox news saturday night. i am aware look like a male stripper in this jacket. not chippendale but more like chips and dip, but you get it. a lot of singles in the pocket so lets make it rain. world-class comedian for can be seen tomorrow on my patio probably passed out. [laughter] the second is a little tricky, the guest wrote it herself. [laughter] podcast powerhouse shes about to win another yellow jacket because they have no shot. a...

>> im going to sub-l in paris. and this is cnn the stage is set the day is here and just 15 hours, joe biden and donald trump will be squaring off and what could be the most fateful presidential debate in us history. >> good morning, everyone. >> cnn this morning his live in atlanta. it is 6:00 a.m. here on the east coast. im kasie hunt. its wonderful to have you with us when president biden and former president trump take this age tonight here at cnns world headquarters in atlanta, a ...

will be laid to rest. here is how democrats are reacting. >> can i ask you about the 12-year-old girl in houston? >> i dont know who you are and i dont know who she is, i liv . >> todd: details on todays services. >> carley: and new york city field, the stadium is drenched. storms pummel the northeast and janice dean is tracking it this morning. >> todd: tonight is the cnn presidential debate with former president trump and president biden. >> carley: we are hearing from voters before ...

[ cheering and applause ] feed it to right into my veins. happy tuesday. more bad news for hunter biden hooters is closing dozens of underperforming restaurants lately sales have been flat. i felt dirty saying it. some file for bankruptcy under chapter 38 double d. the new york times report biden is prepping for the debate in an airplane hangar they found the 1 place where he wont bump into anything. to reduce distractions cnn says no live audience and only 1 live candidate. msnbc andr...