Page 2 - Dark Comedy News Today

right now, switch to xfinity mobile and save up to $800 on the new samsung galaxy s23 series. to learn more, visit your local xfinity store today. >> one year of death and destruction in russias war on ukraine. volodymyr zelensky insists that is country can win this war. heres what he said the troops earlier today. >> translator: it depends entirely on you weather we all survived or whether ukraine survives. every day, every hour depends on you. the ukrainian soldier. you are our most ...

a major crackdown on migrants crossing the channel in small boats. the uk government is planning to ban them for life — from returning to the uk. we have a special report from the seychelles — the country with the biggest heroin problem in the world. after a century, perfectly preserved at the bottom of the antarctic ocean — lloyds of london locate the insurance policy for shackleton�*s ship the endurance. and — its already won four baftas and been nominated for nine oscars. ...

in ukraine — fierce fighting continues as russian forces advance on the eastern city of bakhmut. the deputy mayor says the region is "almost destroyed." and the stars behind the irish comedy the banshees 0f inisherin" speak to usahead of the oscars on sunday. to feel it as colloquial and then see it go out into the world and be received by people from all sorts of, you know, the corners of the globe that we share is pretty surprising and cool. hello and welcome to viewers in the uk a...

charities say the proposals are unfair and unworkable. in ukraine — fierce fighting continues as russian forces advance on the eastern city of bakhmut. the deputy mayor says the region is "almost destroyed." and the stars behind the irish comedy the banshees 0f inisherin speak to us ahead of the oscars on sunday. to feel it as colloquial and then see it go out into the world and be received by people from all sorts of, you know, the corners of the globe that we share is pretty surpri...

they have chris sutton trust is the biggest worry for these students? the biggest for them is what comes next. we are all living through a cost of living crisis at the moment, but next year is when students really think theyre going to be struggling. prices have risen throughout the year, but maintenance loans are not keeping pace with that. student support comes in to make main components, you have the tuition fees, they have been frozen at £9,250 for the next two years. the maintena...

against rivals manchester united. good morning. as we go through this week it _ good morning. as we go through this week it will_ good morning. as we go through this week it will turn much colder with some _ week it will turn much colder with some of— week it will turn much colder with some of us— week it will turn much colder with some of us seeing snow. today we had snow across_ some of us seeing snow. today we had snow across parts of the north and north-east — snow across par...

twitter says defending and respecting the users�* voice remains one of its core values, but the users ive spoken to are left with questions. and you can watch "bbc panorama: elon musk�*s twitter storm" at 8pm tonight on bbc one and on iplayer. you can also read more on the bbc website. not all pupil have been able to make it to school due to illness. so, some schools are bringing the classroom to them by using robots which can act like teachers or classmates. david lumb�*s been t...

st helens beat castleford by 20 points to 12 to restore their four—point lead at the top of superleague. they survived a late fight back to secure their 18th win in 22 games this season. elsewhere there were wins for leeds rhinos and catalans dragons. italys francesco bagnaia won the british motogp at silverstone to move up to fourth in the riders standings. french riderjohann zarco had lead from pole, but crashed out onjust the fifth lap as he chased his first victory in the top cat...

being an action thriller. and it turns out there are a lot of other hit men on the train — coincidence or not, two of them are supposedly british hit men. and well see from the clip that theyre having a little conversation about their names. one is called lemon, and one is called tangerine. lets have a look. lemon. tangerine. youre bleeding, mate. thats not mine, mate. its not yours? 0h, in that case, just leave yourjacket open and let people have a good old look. yeah, i want everyo...

but if were sticking with fruit, why notl apple or orange? so whats in this case? on phone: are we doing this? you know whats in the case. money, its always money. tangerines a sophisticated fruit. oh, now a fruits sophisticated? . yeah, its cross—hybridised with other fruit. theyre adaptable — like me. then why am i lemon? because youre sour — no—one likes lemon. lemonade, lemon drops... you got a sore throat? lemon meringue pie. when was the last time you ate a lemon meringue...