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[cheers and applause] jon welcome. My guests tonight are one william oreilly. Tonight is our pant patented whatever it is we do. It will be like thanksgiving with two uncles who didnt really show up. With less than two weeks before election day, america, thats us. Has resigned it sell through going to the motions of another midterm campaign. And foremost among those motions, debates. A chance for candidates to present and defend their ideas through reasoned articulate discourse. Im just kidding....

I cap lie to you people. This has been a lousy couple of weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there somewhere. Well, it turns out, ladies and gentlemen...

Weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there somewhere. Well, it turns out, ladies and gentlemen, i found a pony last night in florida. We are live from ...

You can form a cogent argument. [laughter] or you can stand there quietly and wait for your opponents [bleep] to slip out of his pants. [laughter] as a matter of fact, if4 not for some poorly constructed pantalooms slavery may never have evolved. Paint lincoln. [laughter] the debates are the public of tonights 1240 just try not to Say Something stupid for 90 minutes. [bleep] whats interesting about these midterm debates is republicans and democrats are finally finding some common ground. I do no...

Professor bryan stevenson, author of just mercy. I cap lie to you people. This has been a lousy couple of weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there so...

You want a ham sandwich . Yes [harmonica plays] wonk wonk. October 16, 2014, from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [cheers and applause] welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. Our guest tonight, man, i could have used this guy last night. Professor bryan stevenson, author of just mercy. I cap lie to you people. This has been a lousy couple of weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on...

Early as today. Second to none, Peyton Manning sets the nfl record for the career touchdown passes, but its what his teammates did with that historic ball that has people auctioning today on monday, october 20, 2014. From nbc news this is today with matt lauer and Savannah Guthrie live from studio 1a in rockefeller plaza. Good morning. Well which to today on a monday morning along with hoda kotb in for Savannah Guthrie and natalie morales. A wellorchestrated game of people. Im not sure if he was...

And fangate. We have an extremely peculiar situation right now. Floridas governor refuses to take the stage in a debate because of the electric fan under his opponents podium. An awkward moment thats blowing up online today thursday october 16th, 2014. Good morning, withal come to today on a thursday morning. Savannah remains on maternity leave. Al is on the road and also in a little while well talk to a nurse who works at Texas Health Presbyterian hospital and she is now you could accurately a ...

Bradley cooper goes from the big screen to the bright lights of broadway. He joins us live to talk about his passion project, today, tuesday, october 21st, 2014. From nbc news, this is today with matt lauer and savannah guthrie, live from studio 1a in rockefeller plaza. Welcome to today on a Tuesday Morning. Savannah continues on Maternity Leave and sad news about Oscar De La Renta when they heard the news, it was one of those dead stop moments there. He was an older man but still surprising he ...

Joe here is pitch number 100. He has one out in the seventh. Belt. Now two out in the seventh. 12th straight retired by the giant lefthander. Tonights telecast is sponsored by bank of america. The official bank of major league baseball. By tmobile. And by budweiser, the official beer of major league baseball. Here is to budweiser. Heres to baseball. Here is Salvador Perez, 0 for 2. And just 4 out of 36 in the postseason. Strike one. If bruce bochy wants to go to the bull pen, the giants may not ...