Does Nick Kristof News Today

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Happy Thursday, party people! Got any plans for this sunny afternoon? (If you're looking for a hang, I hear Nick Kristof has some free time.) Now... LET'S DO SOME...

Dear fellow entitled white men: We are living in a time of crisis. Today we learned the sad (and baffling!) news that fellow entitled white man, Nick Kristof, was denied his inalienable right as a property-owning white guy to run for governor of Oregon—despite his clear lack of experience and aptitude for the job! Perhaps the state Supreme Court has forgotten how the rules work. In the following essay, I will remind everyone how the...