Page 211 - Doesnt Work News Today

Need a cop on the beat who watches out for consumers, not for the big banks. now, it was lobbying. boy, the lobbying dollars poured in. the big banks spent over a million dollars a day over a year to be able to stop that agency. how did we get it passed into law? it was people across this country who said enough. democrats and republicans who said enough. and i think this is the moment on corruption. i think enough people in this country understand, they want a government that doesnt work just f...

So glad you got that joke. rub and rub again

Sinbad. >> i was dirty when i started. a lot of people dont know. i was dirty when i started. i sounded like everybody else. i said i wonder if i could clean it up, and then pick up, and i did. >> people act like they aint never been in mcdonalds, got the same menu, you guys are going, oh, give me, uh, let me see if you have, uh, you know what they got. >> i dont care how you do it, if that joke doesnt work without the cuss words, its not a joke. it should be able to swing both ways. if you coul...

It was just right there. he has that ability. god damn you, gaffigan. >> were never ready for the seasons of change, in october were caught off guard, oh, its getting cold, what is this, every year now? >> he really works hard to get all the funny out of the joke. like he really is like wringing the funny out. >> how many jokes about seasons does this guy have? >> i came home the other day i was helping my wife fold clothes, a little pair of skimpy underwear, i looked at my wife and i said, when...

Baseball. [ bleep ] this [ bleep ]. you say i love your mother [ bleep ] ass, i said, dad, tell me, cussing saves the soul. that he should start cussing in churches, it would save a lot of souls. >> put your hands together for sinbad. >> i was dirty when i started. a lot of people dont know. i was dirty when i started. i sounded like everybody else. i said i wonder if i could clean cleaned it up, and i did. >> people act like they aint never been in mcdonalds, got the same menu, you guys are goi...

When we see clean comics that are super funny, we realize its a higher degree of difficulty. >> i had to cheat on a teacher that i was dating and i wanted an "a." he wanted an "f." you know what? i -- we both settled for a "b." so glad you got that joke.

There were times when i would have jokes and there would be like, you cant do that joke because you say crack head. and im like, i did this joke in front of the pope a week ago. >> some people dont like religion jokes, especially the ones going to hell. by the way, to most comedians, saying you cant do something, might as well be saying you should do this. there are plenty of comedians where theyre like just dont curse, and theyll go up there and curse immediately. >> leo was your philipino -- f...

Vulgerize your set. >> next woman to get married, catch the bouquet, see if one guy talks to you for the rest of the night. >> comics have always been a hallmark of our show, and one of the big challenges is trying to figure out, okay, this is working really well in the clubs. but when you put a television lens just a couple of feet away from the performer, it can feel too abrasive. its too much. jim gaffigan. you cant curse, you cant talk about drugs. there were times when i would have jokes an...

A joke. it should be able to swing both ways. if you could swing it through both ways, you got yourself a joke, a routine. >> those comedians who dont rely in blue comedy, they rely on their words and the punch lines and the deliveries. >> will you please welcome jerry steinfeld? >> jerry seinfeld. >> whats the thing with the post office with the wanted posters on the walls? my main question with the wanted posters on the wall, why wouldnt they hang onto this guy when they were taking his pictur...

President was setting him up to take the fall. john is here, former federal prosecutor himself. important to remember, john, thank you, the distinction. don mcgahn doesnt work for president trump, mcgahn represents the presidency as an institution. >> that is true, but some courts have held here in new york there might be an attorney/client privilege with respect to mr. mcgahn and mr. trump, that was never raised by donald trumps defense team, which is incredible. they could have come in and sai...