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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Nothing to see here. Mother, help me theyll never find me here, monkey. I got ya. Ts the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, in veep trouble. And pete alonso smashes things. Plus, stephen welcomes featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey so nice to have you cheers and applause nice, beautiful. Beautiful. Please, have a seat everybody. Oh, happy friday, jon. Happy friday opinion welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. The looming cheers and applause you cannot keep a friday crowd down. Thats what i know. cheers cant do it. Stephen you know what . The looming story in america right now is the looming impeachment of donald trump over his documented and repeated efforts confessed efforts to get foreign governments to interfere in our election by digging up dirt on joe biden. But if hes going down, hes bringing a plus one. laughter and its Vice Presiden

Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180104

Big and important. Ask your doctor is your heart is healthy enough to destroy the world. Do not take viagrageton if you are sane. Viagragedon do we all have to die because your penis is small . Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, tiny hands, big button. Plus, stephen welcomes America Ferrara David Harbour and musical guest julien baker. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen anniversary nice. Lovely. Invigorating. Hey, everybody thanks so much. Please sit down, folks. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen welcome, welcome cheers and applause theyre just theyre just theyre just screaming to keep warm, you realize. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And it is great cheers and applause thank you very much. Back at you. No, back at you for being here tonight. Its great to be with you, all of you here, together, physically int

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180104

Nuclear buttons so they can feel big and important. Ask your doctor is your heart is healthy enough to destroy the world. Do not take viagrageton if you are sane. Viagragedon do we all have to die because your penis is small . Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, tiny hands, big button. Plus, stephen welcomes America Ferrara David Harbour and musical guest julien baker. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen anniversary nice. Lovely. Invigorating. Hey, everybody thanks so much. Please sit down, folks. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen welcome, welcome cheers and applause theyre just theyre just theyre just screaming to keep warm, you realize. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And it is great cheers and applause thank you very much. Back at you. No, back at you for being here tonight. Its great to be with you, all of y

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20171013

Harassment . 25 years ago, 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago. Stephen any other time . Tomorrow. laughter stephen was there any period where you treated women respectfully . That hasnt happened for years. Stephen now, sir, you won the electoral college. Which states do you think clinched the election for you . I could name many states. I could probably name threequarters of them. Stephen can you name a state now . Russia. Stephen you know thats a got cha question. Lets move on. We only have a few minutes. Before we go, i would like to try something. Can we speak honestly ability our feelings toward each other . You have been so greaters and im very proud of you and, you know im a ratings person. You notice. Has anyone seen his ratings . What you are doing to your competition is incredible. Stephen thank you. Number one and im very proud of you. Stephen thats so nice of you. Let me return the compliment by saying i think youre a bloated narcissist whose presidency is a knife in th

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