Page 6 - Empty Sky News Today

Better Tagline: "My goodness, my hemoglobin." Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: In the quiet town of Six Mile Hill, Eugene Moffat (Jack Rowan) and his dad Francie (Nigel ONeill) dont see eye-to-eye on much. Francie thinks Eugene is an aimless goof-off, while Eugene bides his time messing with the tourists who stop by due to the towns tenuous connection to Dracula author Bram Stoker. But when a freak accident awakens an ancient evil, can father and son come together to save the town? "Critical" ...

Better Tagline: "There is unrest in the forest. There is trouble with the trees." Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Mankind is suffering from a terrible pandemic (sound familiar?), which doesnt stop Martin (Joel Fry) from traveling to a remote English nature preserve to conduct his crop experiments. Hes escorted to his destination by Alma (Ellora Torchia), a park ranger. As they venture deeper into the woods, it becomes apparent that stranger things than the virus are afoot. "Critical" Analysis: ...

Better Tagline: "I *am* in a world of shit." Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: In the early 1980s, all South African males age 16-60 were conscripted into the South African Defence Force to defend their countrys apartheid regime against Soviet-backed Angola. One new recruit, Nicholas van der Swart (Kai Luke Brummer), has to contend not only with the brutal training, but hiding the fact hes gay (derogatorily referred to as a "moffie" in Afrikaans) from both military command and his brothers-in-arms...

Better Tagline: "You know what this redemption story needs? Lens flare." Not So Brief Plat Synopsis: Our unnamed protagonist (Tom Holland) experiences all the highs and lows youd expect after deciding to enlist in the Army because your girlfriend Emily (Ciara Bravo) told you she was moving to Canada (then didnt). Now you suffer from PTSD as a result of your experiences as a combat medic, get hooked on heroin, and ultimately turn to robbing banks to support your habit. Somehow "Life is a Highwa...

Better Tagline: "Eh, why not?" Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: King Jaffe Joffer (James Earl Jones) of Zamunda is ailing, and Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) realizes he himself has no male heir. That is, until his best friend Semmi (Arsenio Hall) reminds him of an unremembered dalliance from their trip to Queens 33 years prior. It turns out Akeem has a son named Lavelle (Jermaine Fowler), whose existence complicates the plans of General Izzi (Wesley Snipes), ruler of neighboring ... "Nextdoria." "Cr...

A review (of the uneasily quarantined variety) of Neon's exhaustive Billie Eilish documentary.

By the time you read this, I will be dead. No wait, I mean, CBS All Access will have released the final episode of The Stand, their new miniseries based on Stephen Kings epic pot-apocalyptic novel of good versus evil. And to mangle T.S. Eliot, rather than with a bang, this regrettable adaptation has gone out like a wet fart. Expectations were high for a more King-friendly product after the 1994 miniseries was forced to pull punches for network TV. CBS and series developers Josh Boone and Ben Ca...

A review (of the uneasily quarantined variety) of the adaptation of Jessica Bruder's award-winning book.

Better Tagline: "Everyones getting too old for this shit." Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Rural California deputy Joe Deacon (Denzel Washington) gets sent the Los Angeles on a routine errand only to find himself embroiled in a murder investigation with links to the case that forced him out of town. Paired with a hotshot young detective (Rami Malek), their focus soon narrows on a local weirdo (Jared Leto) whos almost too perfect a suspect. The Little Things feels like a throwback. From the Si...

A review (of the uneasily quarantined variety) of Liam Neeson's latest revenge/redemption tale.