Eric Cartman News Today

[grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student Council Meeting all we did was talk about what colors to make the st...

[ scoffs ] the weirdest. Are you a weirdo . You make everyone around you crazy. People are normal then they hang out with you and then theyre Jack Nicholson in the shining. Im gonna tell my mom you tried to drown me. Its an above ground pool youre like eight feet tall i geh. Common bird. E. Ooh look over here something much better. There it is. Peacock, included with xfinity x1. Remarkable. Fascinating. Very. It streams tons of your favorite shows and movies, plus the latest in sports news and. ...

Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Where these sunsoaked litea leavesactory. Are picked at the peak of freshness. For a naturally smooth taste. And drinking lipton every day can help support a Healthy Heart will you stop botherin me . Im sortin my trash here your artwork is amazing my what work . People need to see this you need a website. You want to put even more trash...

Director our studios in moscow this is our Team International im sean thomas certainly glad to have you with us all right exit polls from u. K. General election are predicting the conservative partys biggest victory in 30 years vote count is now underway and if projections are correct Boris Johnson has won a new term as Prime Minister a quick look at the numbers for you there are 650 seats in the house of commons so a party needs 326. 00 to hold a majority and if the exit polls are accurate the ...

A run the clock across the world this is r. T. International from the team and myself you know neal hello and welcome. Its been quite the night in the u. K. The conservative party top the general election polls by a huge distance with leader Boris Johnson declaring breaks that can finally happened as for the opposition pretty much theres astros all runs with labor suffering humiliating defeat in areas long regarded as their loyal heartland some other big stories from iran the d u p a northerner ...

Arts internationals world view center here in moscow this friday night 13th of december welcome to you just 10 10 pm here now its 7 in the evening on early evening still in the u. K. My name is kevin and he was around today has been in the u. K. That big vote Boris Johnson conservative partys won resoundingly for a strong showing in the general election in britain the Prime Minister said it gives him now a powerful mandate to finally bring home bracks it main time as the opposition parties theyr...

[cheers and applause] jon hey come on [cheers and applause] show time welcome to the daily show my name is jon stewart. We have a fabulous show for you tonight. You know what im not going to do tonight . Im not going to overthink it, honestly, im just going to come out here like pacino at the oscars, mumble a few words, eventually youll figure out what i was getting at. Its fine the big event we need to talk about is the oscars of politics the state of the union address. Last thursday night. Jos...

Ronny welcome to the daily show im ronny chieng. And hes jordan klepper. Jordan i actually am and weve got so much to talk about tonight. Congress finally passes a bill. Tennessee teachers are getting strapped. And pickleball is coming for your family. So lets get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] lets begin with the a major announcement from the president of the united states. It is a good day for america, its a good day for europe, and its a good day for world peace. Jordan ooh, a good...

No, no, dude. You dont just take one persons story and then add a couple things and call it yours luckily, with the money i made selling the movie rights to my book, ill be okay. You sold the movie rights . To who . James cameron. Go look. The movie came out already. They cant do that im student body president oh, god damn it son of a bitch ideastealing assholes you sons a bitches dances with smurfs was my idea my idea [grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something...

No, no, dude. You dont just take one persons story and then add a couple things and call it yours luckily, with the money i made selling the movie rights to my book, ill be okay. You sold the movie rights . To who . James cameron. Go look. The movie came out already. They cant do that im student body president oh, god damn it son of a bitch ideastealing assholes you sons a bitches dances with smurfs was my idea my idea [grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something...