Hello, and welcome to another week of garbage with me, Elinor Jones, your human raccoon with hot tips on all the stankiest dumpsters. Wanna go for a ride? Well, you're going. Sports! Portland basketball twitter was briefly very excited when news broke that Nike kajillionaire Phil Knight had made an offer to buy our Portland Trail Blazers for two billion American dollars. The offer was rejected as the team is "not for sale," but this.