Page 2 - Fear Level News Today

Well, friends, we have once again reached the end of our stupid journey together. Michigan football plays on, as do the titular Opponents, but per tradition there is no Thanksgiving Opponent Watch, so this week marks the end of the regular season. If the winds are kind and the Gods are merciful, we may come together in a couple of weeks. If not, take care of yourselves. As always, you can find me at @pontifex on Twitter until Twitter dies in a few weeks, after which you can just open your doors ...

About Last Week The Road Ahead Michigan State (3-4, 1-3 B1G) Last week: Bye Recap: No recap. Bye This team is as frightening as: It’s your first night at Fight Club. And because it is your first night at Fight Club, you HAVE to fight. When you arrive, you’re told that you are fighting Manfred. And they say it with a tone of fear and reverence. There are whispered tales from those around you of the things Manfred has done in the past, so you spend the entire evening both psyching yourself up ...

About Last Week There has been a great deal of controversy and consternation arising out of Saturday’s game, so I think it’s best we clear the air and lay out the facts. This is Michigan Stadium: Pictured: Michigan Stadium Michigan Stadium, built in 1927 in Ann Arbor, Michigan, is the long-time home of the University of Michigan Wolverines’ football team. It has played host to just over 600 Michigan football games in that time, along with non-Michigan football games and other assorted athl...

About Last Week Poor damn Connor Bazelak. The Road Ahead Penn State (5-0, 2-0 B1G) Last week: Bye Recap: No recap. Bye. So now, we just wander into this game with no real sense of who Penn State is. On the bright side, Penn State blogs are almost certainly saying the same exact thing about Michigan right now. This team is as frightening as: A wet paint sign. Maybe the sign means “this bench is covered in wet paint.” But it could also mean, “this bench was covered in wet paint twelve hours ...

About Last Week Not all All Americans are built the same. [h/t Mr. Elbel] The Road Ahead Indiana (3-2, 1-1 B1G) Last week: Lost at Nebraska, 35-21 Recap: So, a quick peek behind the curtain here at Opponent Watch Headquarters and Bait Shop. I have a template I start from, and when I write this dumb word pile every week, the first thing I typically do is to go down the list and fill in the current team records, last week’s result, and this week’s opponents. This week, when I scrolled back up ...

About Last Week He is the one. The one who was prophesized by Fred Jackson. [Barron] The Road Ahead Iowa (3-1, 1-0 B1G) Last week: Won at Rutgers, 27-10 Recap: As a result of a series of decisions I have made in my life ⁠— some good, some bad, some incomprehensible ⁠— I watched this game. The whole thing. It’s fine, really. I acknowledge my role in this. I place no blame, and I ask for no sympathy. I don’t know what Iowa football is made of. It’s some bizarre combination of the Saw...

About Last Week I said, “where’d he go?” And Hollywood says, “where’d whoooo gooooooo.” [Fuller] The Road Ahead Maryland (3-0, 0-0 B1G) Last week: Beat SMU, 34-27 Recap: We said we would discuss Maryland when they beat a real team. And SMU is a real team. Not a great team. Probably not a good team. But a real team. So here we go: I still have no idea what to make of Maryland. They outplayed SMU statistically to the point where SP+ had this game more like a 3-touchdown blowout than a ...

About Last Week Oh man, you almost got away. [Barron] The Road Ahead Hawaii (0-2, 0-0 MWC) Last week: Lost to Vanderbilt, 63-10; Lost to Western Kentucky, 49-17 Recap: The Timmy Chang Era started well, with the Rainbow Warriors scoring a touchdown on their first drive. Since then, things have gone less well. This team is as frightening as: An esquilax. Fear Level = 1.2 Michigan can sleep soundly about: Hawai’i is in the midst of a system transition and a complete culture overhaul, and they’...

Greetings! I have missed you all. Last year was fun. Let’s do that again. For those of you who are new here, we like to spend a few minutes every week looking Michigan’s slate of opponents. As always, fair warning: This column it is for entertainment purposes only, and even that is a stretch. It does not constitute legal, medical, accounting, tax, or gambling advice. It also does not contain sufficient accuracy for the FDA to allow us to label it as “analysis”; we can only refer to it as...

Evil Dead has a series of five single-player missions to complete, and this guide will help you complete it's most difficult: Kill 'Em All.