Fun Uncle Sam News Today

Last week, Boring Ralph finally got dumped, Georgiana finally reunited with her mom Agnes, Augusta finally got away from Horrible Edward, and Tom finally felt bad about his garbage behavior. But it came at the cost of Mary being dangerously sick, Arthur and Dastardly Duke being super heartbroken, and Merciless Mama being a scheming racist jerkwad. Reader, I honestly cannot fathom how all of this gets wrapped up in one episode, but I’m game if you are. Let’s get cracking.

Where were we? Oh, right: Augusta just took Charlotte’s accidentally bad advice and ran off with Horrible Edward! Charlotte was seconds away from, presumably, telling Boring Ralph that even though he’s very sweet, he’s also the human equivalent of a blancmange, and she’s more interested in a pavlova MINIMUM. And Georgiana had just announced her engagement to Dastardly Duke, leaving Arthur very sad.

Last episode, Georgiana won her court case (yay!) and all of our friends seemed determined to just be stubbornly unhappy in love (boo!). This installment, I regret to inform you, seems to be doubling down on the latter. Georgiana wakes up in her living room to the sound of a maid clearing away empty wine bottles, and not in a fun, insouciant, Bridget Jones’ Diary kind of way: in a “I’m not sure what to do with myself AND pining for an old relationship” kind of way. She heads over to visi...

All right, pals, let’s get right down to business: this week we’re heading off to London, where hopefully we’ll see Georgiana destroy Wannabe Byron’s attempt to shamefully make off with her inheritance. Going along with her? Charlotte and Mary, the latter helpfully pointing out in the carriage that they all owe Mystery Dad a debt for bringing his lawyer brother to town.

Well, reader, last week dropped us off in a decidedly less idyllic version of Sanditon than we’ve visited in the past, culminating with some absolutely atrocious garbage from the unfortunately returned Wannabe Byron. How will our friends deal with this latest nonsense? Charlotte, who is after all very ride or die for Georgiana, has naturally decided to stay on in Sanditon until the legal issues are resolved. Boring Ralph, however, has some boring farm stuff to get back to, so his only onscreen...