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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131126

Theyve been in a longterm dispute, a land dispute, but guess what theyre only giving 100,000. Wow apparently the chinese symbol for crisis is also the one for bite me. Seriously, the nation of china pledged only 100,000. I bet the colbert nation could give more than that . What do you people think . cheers and applause you know what, you know what . You know what, folks, nation, lets do it. Lets outdonate china. To donate 10 to convoy of hope typhoon response efforts just text colbert to 50555, your donation will help bring clean water and food to the victims of typhoon haiyan, lets kick chinas ass at being compassionate because we are a brotherhood of man you stingy jerks. Get donating, nation. Folks, you know, this is no secret. When i need up to the minute news i always turn to the today show. Its the first thing i watch when i wake up around 6 00 p. M. I tivo it. Well, folks, 1 week ago today, todays al roker and matt lauer boldly went where no news has gone before. Here we are 1 w

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131115

Unthinkable tragedy and we send our thoughts and prayer to those in need but it is not all were sending. United States Military taking significant steps to help typhoon recovery operation. U. S. S. George washington is now in the gulf in the area. It brings with it 80 aircraft, 5,000 sailors all ready to deliver food, water and medicine. The u. S. Also providing 20 million in immediate aid. Folks, america takes alot of slack just because we spy on our ali, invade countries on hunches and threaten to tank the Global Economy as a fundraising tool. But face it, when the [bleep] goes down the world needs heroes, nobody says thank gods the belgians are here. Oh, i hope they brought us some waffles. laughter nation, this makes me proud to be an american. To know that my tax dollars are going to help people if i pay taxes. I have an excellent accountant. He said if a shell ter, i think the feel pooens. America has put our money where our mouth s the boots on the ground and hads in the air lik

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131115

Jon thats our show, here it is, your moment of zen. I cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, everybody, thank you so. For joining me. Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Please. cheers and applause i got to say, that taste like greatness. Nation, weve all seen the devastation in the philippines caused by typhoon haiyan, it is an unthinkable tragedy and we send our thoughts and prayer to those in need but it is not all were sending. United States Military taking significant steps to help typhoon recovery operation. U. S. S. George washington is now in the gulf in the area. It brings with it 80 aircraft, 5,000 sailors all ready to deliver food, water and medicine. The u. S. Also providing 20 million in immediate aid. Folks, america takes alot of slack just because we spy on our ali, invade countries on hunches and threaten to tank the Global Economy as a fundraising tool. But face it, w

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131116

America has put our money where our mouth s the boots on the ground and hads in the air like we just do care. Cant say the them thing about socalled superpower china. China getting a bit of criticism. Theyve been in a longterm dispute, a land dispute, but guess what theyre only giving 100,000. Wow apparently the chinese symbol for crisis is also the one for bite me. Seriously, the nation of china pledged only 100,000. I bet the colbert nation could give more than that . What do you people think . cheers and applause you know what, you know what . You know what, folks, nation, lets do it. Lets outdonate china. To donate 10 to convoy of hope typhoon response efforts just text colbert to 50555, your donation will help bring clean water and food to the victims of typhoon haiyan, lets kick chinas ass at being compassionate because we are a brotherhood of man you stingy jerks. Get donating, nation. Folks, you know, this is no secret. When i need up to the minute news i always turn to the tod

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131115

Jon thats our show, here it is, your moment of zen. I cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, everybody, thank you so. For joining me. Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Please. cheers and applause i got to say, that taste like greatness. Nation, weve all seen the devastation in the philippines caused by typhoon haiyan, it is an unthinkable tragedy and we send our thoughts and prayer to those in need but it is not all were sending. United States Military taking significant steps to help typhoon recovery operation. U. S. S. George washington is now in the gulf in the area. It brings with it 80 aircraft, 5,000 sailors all ready to deliver food, water and medicine. The u. S. Also providing 20 million in immediate aid. Folks, america takes alot of slack just because we spy on our ali, invade countries on hunches and threaten to tank the Global Economy as a fundraising tool. But face it, w

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