Page 2 - Greg Yes News Today

>> thats when they came out with the tom collins mixes, and i remember sitting there watching my parents drinking at home and thinking one day thatll be me. [laughter] greg: did you ever wonder why they started acting funny? why are mommy and daddy acting funny? [laughter] >> they usually sent us to bed before that happened. greg: you didnt understand that, like, over time they started acting differently. why are they acting differently? tom, what are your thoughts on this? >> ah, young people. ...

Greg: if you were a high school teacher, what subject would you teach? im interested -- what do you think, tom? what would you teach? >> i think id go gym teacher. greg: really, why? >> just get all the kids back. my gym teacher always tortured me, and, you know, take out my aggression on the youth. greg: yeah. [laughter] youd make em climb the rope, wouldnt you? >> yeah, all the way to the top. no crash pad down below. greg: fantastic. [laughter] mandatory dodgeball as they leave with baseballs...

Eligible person i know. greg: somebody got in a fight. >> thank you. greg: somebody got in a fight. [laughter] but the idea of the contrast between one and many is why trump won. they do these studies with product. like if you want to sell a soft pillow, you dont compare it to a firm pillow, you compare it to five, and everybody likes the contrast. if you had 17 candidates, thats why trump won because everybody looked the same. its going to happen with democrats. theyre going to get 15, and that...

Handle. they have a handle. it makes it easier for me to gesture around when im talking to my cat. [laughter] >> like this? >> you know, like are, you know, like that when you talk. greg: there is no -- wine tastes the same whether its in a mug or a wine glass. >> i disagree. >> yeah. disagree. greg: should we do a whole other segment -- >> when you go to a party and they have wine and you have to drink out of the red cup, im going home. greg: oh. racist. [laughter] coming up, where the hell do ...

Point. the joy of a flask. greg: yeah, you know, a flask -- you cant carry them anymore because youre always being frisked. you used to be able to take them to concerts -- >> or on airplanes. >> wait a minute, it has to be empty. >> im saying you use to be able to. >> oh, okay. not that ive ever been held up with a flask in an airport, but one would think liquid, you know, cant get that through. greg: the other cool thing about drinking at home is it forces you to make your home less depressing....

Jokes, whats it like up there? its just a long night for me -- [laughter] so i stay at home. i enjoying being at home. greg: i dont like bad drinkers -- >> inexperienced. greg: yeah, inexperienced. drinking is a gift you shouldnt -- >> first of all, jims alibi and symposium in jersey. part of the problem with millennials is they dont know the joy of a good dive bar. greg: i disagree. but go ahead. >> and the other thing, i read the story, and i probably misread it, but i read it as if they wer...

Greg: if you were a high school teacher, what subject would you teach? im interested -- what do you think, tom? what would you teach? >> i think id go gym teacher. greg: really, why? >> just get all the kids back. my gym teacher always tortured me, and, you know, take out my aggression on the youth. greg: yeah. [laughter] youd make em climb the rope, wouldnt you? >> yeah, all the way to the top. no crash pad down below. greg: fantastic. [laughter] mandatory dodgeball as they leave with baseballs...

Finished down 121. >> how about now? >> youre hired. [laughter] >> so get your bret bear today. >> im bret baier in washington, and ill see you later. [laughter] greg: all right. [cheers and applause] tyrus, what have you got? >> actually, greg, my favorite is one no one has even seen yet. as you know, i sometimes fill as the white house press secretary, and i did it again this week. take a look. [inaudible conversations] >> its good to be back. if any of you have questions for greg, make it fas...

You going to be home? [laughter] greg: exactly. >> youre on the set for 12 hours? why you always -- and then when she calls, im like, what? im not doing nothing! [laughter] im trying to work. why are you yelling at me? you yelled at me first when you text me. have you ever noticed now, i heard what you said. no, you didnt, you read what i said. weve become weird. greg: i know. its gotta change. any chance for a conservative peace movement? >> i think thats great. im with you. greg: i think it ca...

[laughter] greg: tyrus, i actually do not -- im not a big fan of bar drinking at night. i do during the day -- >> youre a day drinker? greg: i like to bring my work with me. >> what are you working on? greg: i actually wrote this book at a bar with. always work when youre drinking, and you feel like youre not a drunk. >> what hours would that start, say six a.m. to six p.m.? greg: no, i would go one to five or when i got blurry. >> awesome. kat, let me ask you a question. [laughter] hes a drunk,...