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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170329

I once saw him name a golf ball secretary of the interior just because it was white. The thing on top of his head is a divot from the 12th hole. He named his putter vladimir puttin. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, hank azaria, kate walsh and a performance from circus 1903. Jon batiste and stay human. Live on tape from the ed sullivan theatre in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. A lot of people are upset with trump because he didnt repeal obamacare. So, today, he kept his Campaign Promise to repeal the environment. Signed an executive order to loosen restrictions on Greenhouse Gas emissions and essentially wipe out obamas Climate Change record. I think he just surrendered florida to the ocean, which explains why when he signed the order, he invited aquaman to be there. You know what i noticed . Not a single aquawoman in that picture. So, why is trump doing this . According to

Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170329

Female golfer, hell yell, four unless he finds her unattractive then he yells, two. I once saw him name a golf ball secretary of the interior just because it was white. The thing on top of his head is a divot from the 12th hole. He named his putter vladimir puttin. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, hank azaria, kate walsh and a performance from circus 1903. Jon batiste and stay human. Live from new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. A lot of people are upset with trump because he didnt repeal obamacare. So, today, he kept his Campaign Promise to repeal the environment. Signed an executive order to loosen restrictions on Greenhouse Gas emissions and essentially wipe out obamas Climate Change record. I think he just surrendered florida to the ocean, which explains why when he signed the order, he invited aquaman. You know what i noticed . Not a single aquawoman in that picture. So, why is trump doing thi

Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170329

Female golfer, hell yell, four unless he finds her unattractive then he ye i once saw him name a golf ball secretary of the interior just because it was white. The thing on top of his head is a divot from the 12th hole. He named his putter vladimir puttin. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, hank azaria, kate walsh and a performance from circus 1903. Jon batiste and stay human. Live from new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. A lot of people are upset with trump because he didnt repeal obamacare. So, today, he kept his Campaign Promise to repeal the environment. Signed an executive order to loosen restrictions on Greenhouse Gas emissions and essentially wipe out obamas Climate Change record. I think he just surrendered florida to the ocean, which explains why when he signed the order, he invited aquaman. You know what i noticed . Not a single aquawoman in that picture. So, why is trump doing this . Accor

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170404

[ cheers and applause ] i appreciate that. I hope you had a great weekend, a good spring break. April fools day came and went and donald trump is still president. So i guess thats real. [ laughter ] now, i was thinking about doing something to my wife on april fools day but then i thought, you know what, tricking her into marrying me was more than enough prank. [ laughter ] i guess what im trying to say is im growing up, i really am. Tonight from phoenix, arizona the Ncaa College Basketball championships. Two number one seeds, North Carolina versus gonzaga. Or gonzaga. Im not honestly sure which is correct. So i alternate them every time i say it. Im right at least half of the time. But Gonzaga University was founded in 1887. This is interesting. It was founded as a bet to see if students would want a diploma from a school that sounded like it was named after a monkey disease. [ laughter ] turns out they do. Actually, i did look it up today because i was curious. Gonzaga university is

Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170404

They were done. To come back the way they did. If they lost it in the end, so be it. The fact they won. Jimmy did you go to the party afterwards . I did. It was like a patriots after thing. Jimmy did you meet tom . Did you get to touch him . [ laughter ] because last time you were there i have yet to meet him. He didnt go to the he might have been an appearance. But hes tom brady. He had to go rule the world. [ laughter ] i didnt meet tom. And im not sure if i want to. It almost has become now like i just want to let him be the thing that i imagine he is. And thats it. Thats good enough for me. Jimmy look at you. Youre positively glowing. [ laughter ] im like why, is he here . [ laughter ] jimmy see, tom could never that would never happen to tom. [ laughter ] tom makes me so nervous. Jimmy were going to clean you up. Were going to move you up inside and out. There you go. Wow, ive never seen anybody just sweat from their palms before. But chris evans is here. His movie is called gifte

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