Said, quote, what in gods name is he doing . Where where have you been, joe . Joe biden is like your friend who wants to watch your favorite tv show with you but didnt see the first season what . Hes making meth i thought this fellow was a High School Teacher did he breaks bad . Yeah. Oh. Former Vice President joe biden held a Virtual Campaign event on monday with the asianamericana and Pacific Islanders victory fund and said that he has nicknamed President Trump president tweety because of his affinity for sending tweets. So we take you live now to President Trumps resignation speech whats that . Oh, hes not resigning why . Oh, because its a super lame nickname and melania calls him worse things in her sleep . Oh, i cant go live because i filmed this on an ipad five hours ago . Hows the future, by the way is anything any better oh, a little bit worse okay well, see you soon President Trump said yesterday hes taken an unproven antimalarial drug as, quote, an additional level of safety.
You drank a bottle of wine, smoked pot with your cousins, and youre still [ laughter ] youre still awake [ laughter ] man, whatever your grandpa said about trump must have really freaked you out. [ laughter ] according to polls, 63 of americans plan to drink on thanksgiving, just as soon as the adults turn their backs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause president yeah [ cheers and applause President Trump issued a thanksgiving proclamation yesterday, and called for the country to rise above divisiveness and celebrate united together as one people. Added trump, even the democrats, nevertrumpers, deepstaters, nfl players, fake news media, women, latinos, muslims, late night hosts and eric [ cheers and applause all of us celebrating as one family the wife of childrens tv icon mr. Rogers revealed in a new interview that he would regularly fart in front of her to make her laugh. [ laughter ] and she would laugh to make him stop [ laughter ] and finally, the New York Post has published a lis
Means you ate three pounds of turkey, stuffing and mashed potato you drank a bottle of wine, smoked pot with your cousins, and youre still [ laughter ] youre still awake [ laughter ] man, whatever your grandpa said about trump must have really freaked you out. [ laughter ] according to polls, 63 of americans plan to drink on thanksgiving, just as soon as the adults turn their backs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause president yeah [ cheers and applause President Trump issued a thanksgiving proclamation yesterday, and called for the country to rise above decisiveness and celebrate united together as one people. Added trump, even the democrats, nevertrumpers, deepstaters, nfl players, fake news media, women, latinos, muslims, late night hosts and eric [ cheers and applause all of us celebrating as one family the wife of childrens tv icon mr. Rogers revealed in a new interview that he would regularly fart in front of her to make her laugh. [ laughter ] and she would laugh to make him sto
President obama pardoned two turkeys for thanksgiving yesterday which is scary because one of those turkeys told the parole board that he would kill again. [ laughter ] according to a report from the calorie control council, the average american will eat upwards of 3,000 calories during thanksgiving dinner. Of course, the next day its back to the usual 2,900. [ laughter ] the 90th annual macys thanksgiving day parade was today. And performers included tony bennett and the muppets. Its nice to meet you, mr. Bennett, said a fan to someone that wasnt tony bennett. [ laughter ] jeweler, helzberg diamonds is running a promotion where youll get a free xbox if you spend over 1,000. Or you can spend less than 1,000 and youll just get a free ex. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] nasa engineers are reportedly working on a fuelless engine that could theoretically take astronauts to mars in less than 70 days. In other words, less time than it took you to get home for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] appl
President obama pardoned two turkeys for thanksgiving yesterday which is scary because one of those turkeys told the parole board that he would kill again. [ laughter ] according to a report from the calorie control council, the average american will eat upwards of 3,000 calories during thanksgiving dinner. Of course, the next day its back to the usual 2,900. [ laughter ] the 90th annual macys thanksgiving day parade was today. And performers included tony bennett and the muppets. Its nice to meet you, mr. Bennett, said a fan to someone that wasnt tony bennett. [ laughter ] jeweler, helzberg diamonds is running a promotion where youll get a free xbox if you spend over 1,000. Or you can spend less than 1,000 and youll just get a free ex. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] nasa engineers are reportedly working on a fuelless engine that could theoretically take astronauts to mars in less than 70 days. In other words, less time than it took you to get home for thanksgiving. [ laughter ] appl