A few weeks ago, my therapist broke up with me, if that’s even something that can be legally done. Apparently, she no longer felt adequately prepared for my personal problems that were “near unsolvable” and recommended a few local fortune tellers and that girl in Silliman with tarot cards as a last resort. But before we called it quits, she taught me something that I shall now teach you: that it’s of the utmost importance to talk through your fears. In fact, simply speaking about one’s anxieties is proven to reduce their scariness dramatically. According to a 2017 Stanford study, when students wrote poetry about their fear of murderers, they had 10x higher chances of overcoming their anxiety and becoming murderers themselves! So, I thought: why not make this week’s article productive for once, and work through my own personal fears (although if I wake up tomorrow as a condom, I’m suing Stanford).