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Thanks to Gov. Ron DeSantis’ so-called ‘war on woke,’ Florida institutions of higher education have experienced an unprecedented brain drain. The Onion asked professors why they are fleeing the state, and this is what they said.

United statesRon desantiMein kampfBarry francisTacy levineArl eblingChrissie wrightIthya pisalRight wing populism in the united statesEsley riveroConnie coyneRon desantisElon muskBad boys iiJacob grigsbyPeter barrett