Page 5 - John Lemmon News Today

captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheers and applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the report." thank you. please. welcome to "the report." thank you for joining us. nation, right off the bean i have to address the breaking news out of china. ming ming, the worlds oldest panda, is dead at the age of 34. this comes as a real surprise. and i just want to say, well done, seal team six, another righteous ...

have to address the breaking news out of china. ming ming, the worlds oldest panda, is dead at the age of 34. this comes as a real surprise. and i just want to say, well done, seal team six, another righteous kill. for too long our mortal enemies, the chinese, have been using pandas cuteness to infiltrate our hearts. never forget that they are panda bears, godless, killing machines. i mean weve all seen the footage of their compound where they are literally breeding more of these cuddl...

chair of the tea party express. ill interview her dressed as a great american patriot -- me. cnn anchor john lemmon has come out as gay, but can he find the courage to tell his family hes on cnn? [laughter] this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheers and applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the report." thank you. please. welcome to "the report." thank you for joining us. n...

join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is, your moment of zen. >>ly not be running for president, as much as i would like. to >> you did the right thing. >>captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight, how did we get osama bin laden, and how can we get him again? the buzz is starting to wear off. [laughter] then, should oil companies give back all those tax breaks? yeah, as soon as the seagulls give back all that o...

[theme song playing] [cheers and applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the report." thank you. please. welcome to "the report." thank you for joining us. nation, right off the bean i have to address the breaking news out of china. ming ming, the worlds oldest panda, is dead at the age of 34. this comes as a real surprise. and i just want to say, well done, seal team six, another righteous kill. for too long our mortal enemies, ...

courage to tell his family hes on cnn? [laughter] this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheers and applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the report." thank you. please. welcome to "the report." thank you for joining us. nation, right off the bean i have to address the breaking news out of china. ming ming, the worlds oldest panda, is dead at the age of 34. this comes as a rea...