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Dear Care and Feeding, I’m 34 and have happily been seeing someone for three months. It’s still new, but it’s going well, and he’s very normal, mature, and together. My best friend is hosting a fourth birthday party for her son next month, and I asked if I could bring him as a plus-one. She declined because she isn’t ready to bring someone new into her son’s world and “still has PTSD” from my ex being in her baby shower photos (4.5 years ago!). Advertisement She is absolutely ju...

Dear Care and Feeding, My 14-year-old daughter posted on Snapchat a nude photo of two individuals, both young teens, half nude. It was not full-on frontal nudity but a “sideview” that she does not think is inappropriate. I deleted the app off of her phone and told her that we could discuss adding it back once we are closer together on our views of what’s appropriate versus inappropriate for posting on social media. In general, my rules are fairly lax as far as her phone usage, but I do ha...

Dear Care and Feeding, My siblings—one sister and two brothers, with nine kids between us—and I have a problem. Our mom, who is in her early 60s, has recently become a crazed conspiracy theorist, spouting the whole QAnon/Trump/Bill Gates BS that’s been going around (with even weirder stuff that I’m pretty sure she makes up). She’s seen a doctor who said she isn’t insane and doesn’t have dementia, so there’s nothing we can do except try to ignore it. But here’s the thing: despi...

Dear Care and Feeding, Growing up, my mom channeled her anxiety into obsessively cleaning our home. Though it was spotless, this came at the detriment of our general happiness. We were never allowed to have a pet or even have guests over because it would dirty the house, we were frequently late to events because my mom was cleaning and lost track of time, and she missed out on bonding time with us because she was too anxious to leave the kitchen unclean for an hour after breakfast. I vowed I’...

Dear Care and Feeding, I was very close to my aunt while growing up. She helped to home-school me when conventional school didn’t work out well, so I often stayed with her. I’m still somewhat close with her, but past occurrences now give me pause regarding her relationship with my children. Perhaps most troubling is that she coached me on toilet-papering houses. She was youngish but certainly an adult by then. Her plans were intricate; the two of us dressed head to toe in black, wore good ...

Dear Care and Feeding, My boyfriend and I had been trying for three months to get pregnant when I conceived. He was the one who started talking about having a baby, and we moved quickly from playful “baby fever” talk to serious conversation. We made the decision together to stop birth control. We were in love—or so I thought. We had no issues in our relationship; he treated me lovingly and sweetly. Advertisement But last week, when I realized I was pregnant, my whole world shattered. As s...

Dear Care and Feeding, Last year, my ex-husband was involved in a highly publicized sexual harassment/assault case that made the national news. He disappeared from social media and locked down his web presence, but his name and face were still shown across the country for a few days. We have shared custody of our 16-year-old son, who lives primarily with his dad and comes to visit me all summer each year. My son was understandably devastated by the incident, but has become withdrawn and refused...

Dear Care and Feeding, I love my boyfriend of four years very much. We’re both in our 30s and are seriously talking about marriage and starting a family soon. I have a concern, however, that I can’t seem to shake. My boyfriend has very little patience. For example, he’ll sigh extremely loudly and yell at his computer if it’s not working or the internet is slow. He has never screamed at me or gotten in my face, but definitely in moments of frustration, he’ll raise his voice while speak...

Dear Care and Feeding, My teenage daughter, like most teenagers this year, spent a lot of time on social media engaged in conversations about race, social justice, and activism. In general, we’re happy with this; she is getting a worldview-expanding experience, and she’s been actively engaged in trying to create change at her high school. She is certainly more culturally aware than my husband or I ever was at her age. The problem is that she’s fixated on getting a Black friend. Her school...

Dear Care and Feeding, When my wife and I had our first daughter, we knew one of us would be a stay-at-home parent. We both grew up in working-class families where both parents worked, and we were excited we had this opportunity. At first, I suggested I could stay at home, mostly because I’ve always been the one who enjoys and was responsible for all the cooking and cleaning. Advertisement However, my wife pointed out that I made more money and reasoned that since only one of us would be work...