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ontd original: HalloReads; the world of Darren Shan books.

I was really hesitant about making this post. why? bc even though I have my criticisms (which I think are fair), I didnt want to expose something I enjoy to The Court of Public ONTDpinion, but in the end, Id still read and like them. So here. I know a lot of you are A) Librarians or B)…

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant movie review (2009)

Now streaming on: "Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" includes good Vampires, evil Vampanese, a Wolf-Man, a Bearded Lady, a Monkey Girl with a long tail, a Snake Boy, a dwarf with a 4-foot forehead and a spider the size of your shoe, and they're all boring as hell. The movie has good special effects and suitably gruesome characters, but it's bloodless. It's also a mess. The movie is shot through with curious disconnects. Often within a single sequence of events, we won't know where we are, or how they're related in space or time. Characters like the Bearded Lady (Salma Hayek) drop in and out at random. Willem Dafoe plays a man who keeps intensely bursting in, but I don't know who he was or where he went when he wasn't on the job. His name, I learn, is Gavner Purl, which doesn't ring a bell.