Page 532 - Laughter News Today

♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: yes! yes! yes, indeed! ha ha ha ha! happy monday, everybody. so imagine you have a big guard dog to keep an eye on your home and you depend on the dog to keep your family safe in a tough neighborhood. now imagine the dog disappears for four days. would you notice? if the answer is yes, then youre normal. if the answer is no, youre joe biden. [laughter] >> greg: because how the hell did he not know his secretary of defense was missing for four full day...

she. >> bill: that visit designed to restore stability. the secretary admits it is not all sunshine and rainbows. >> we are clear eyed about the challenges posed by the prc. the united states will advance a vision for the future that we share with so many others, free, open, stable and prosperous world. i came to beijing to strengthen levels of communication. we agreed on the need to stabilize our relationship. >> dana: the trip was originally scheduled for last february but the discov...

now on bbc news, click. this week... three, two, one... cheering ..the battle is on as we go to the uks first—ever live fortnite tournament... this is a sport where every player is in their own world, their own zone. ..marc speaks to xboxs big boss about whats on the horizon in the next few months... can you give us a sign that you can hear us, please? please. ..and were hunting ghosts with some terrifying tracking tech. in amongst edinburghs elegant architecture stands the iconic mc...

hits his — united states? i thinkjoe biden hits his policies, he is now sending troops _ hits his policies, he is now sending troops there. the question comes, joe bidens— troops there. the question comes, joe bidens rhetoric says something different _ joe bidens rhetoric says something different. the disconnect of may arcos _ different. the disconnect of may arcos is— different. the disconnect of may arcos is acting outside of authority and not _ arcos is acting outside of autho...

by less than half a percentage point. it was a ss t landslide. it was a l mandate. w itas was also 40 years ago. and in some ways seems even longer than that. since reagan the positivistre puregu tonight, we will examine today. republican party on the eve of yet anotheblicr presidential election. what does the party believe, what is the republican position on foreign policy, cultural issues. how if the party has changed, where is it going? california and new york, will be popular vote ...

suggest that a potential defendant cooperate with a prosecutor, just because he might be wrong about his blanket immunity statements. but look. its very clear evidence wise that voter fraud is not why the election was lost. in fact, the middle part of my book explains in great detail with verifiable proof why trump lost the election. there is a simple explanation. it has nothing to do with fraud whatsoever. and when im free to talk about it, everybody will understand. it makes perfect ...

counter offensive has officially begun. what do the early signs reveal? and what exactly is at stake? ill ask an all-star family. also, the electric vehicle revolution. europe and china are far ahead of america. can the u.s. catch up? ill talk to bill ford, the executive chair of the ford motor company. finally the supreme court. it is supposed to be the final check, the ultimate safeguard to preserve americas bedrock values. but it is now itself a danger to democracy. a new book s...

from england and the guy next to me goes... he looks at the book and he says, "i read that book." and i said, "oh." and before i could stop him, he says, "cynical— both laugh we spent... it was a seven—hour flight. seven hours, and hes playing 20 questions, trying to figure out who i was, and he was getting closer and closer and closer. and it was just horrendous! did you manage... by the time you landed, he didnt figure it out? no, he hadnt figured it out. shall we go on in? i mea...

joe or are you just going to sit on the sidelines in church. >> tim scott doesnt have a plan for crippling generational poverty. >> enter barack obama to attack senator tim scott of south carolina. >> former presidents shouldnt be talking about black america with regard to the odious record. >> just outside of the area. nothing wrong with it. on the follow up, he makes no mistake. keeper. its a third magic from. this time he finishes. ♪ ♪ ♪ when it comes down to it ♪ we got eac...

a no go zone. >> san francisco. are you alive, bro? >> im just checking. >> yall got stop smoking that [bleep] in front of the kids, man. you got the kids right here, man. >> a federal building in san francisco, california. as you can see, there is a fentanyl genocide happening in our community. >> jesse: san francisco turned itself into a cemetery. san francisco doesnt enforce the law. san francisco doesnt even allow you to cast judgment. how dare you think children shouldnt have to s...