Page 549 - Laughter News Today

jessica tarlov, jesse watters, d greg gutfeld. it is 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ the so-called great savior of democracy is back. rushed off his caribbean vacation where he got sunburned into oblivion. president biden was at valley forge to kick off his first major campaign speech of the year, but it looks like the big guy is out of big ideas. instead of talking policies or how he will make your lives better, biden bashed maga supporters and january 6th. the p...

♪ >> greg: that is true! happy thursday, everybody. thank you. so disney has announced that the next star wars movie will be directed by a woman. you heard that right. disney admits they can define a woman. but the new directors not just any woman, no, shes a pakistani canadian feminist activist. exactly the kind of person the star wars franchise needs. the kind whos idea of fun is lecturing you about oppression while combing dandruff out of her armpits. not her, somebody like that. ...

providing that the united states reserves and retains complete ownership, possession and control of presidential records. for more than a year, and despite multiple opportunities to remedied situation and return materials that rightly belong to the federal government, donald trump refused to cooperate time and time again. as we know now from the indictment unsealed by the department of justice yesterday, the former president and his personal valet, and now codefendants, walt nauta have...

terri sewell, who sits on the armed services committee. , plastile trump has vowed to stay in the race for the republican nomination, even if hes convicted. were gonna dig into why both his primary competitors are criticizing ham. with donald trumps former attorney general, bill barr, hes someone whos actually not holding back. saying if half of whats in this indictment is true, donald trumps quote, toast. he called this indictment detailed, and very, very damning. i agree with mr. bar...

i-95, the highway remains closed in both directions to traffic, firefighters are trying to extinguish an ongoing fire that you can see there, we will bring you more on the updates as soon as we get them on the story. straight ahead, we are going to miami for a report on what to expect ahead of trumps arraignment on tuesday. plus, the twice impeached now twice indicted president, is telling his followers that the justice department is not just coming after him, its coming after them to....

heard from president biden wrapping up his first speech of 2024 campaign near va valley fo, pennsylvania. he took aim at donald trump and sometimes his lack of actions that fateful day. this as we wait on supreme court and colorado springs to banff the former president trump from the ballot there. the battle for iowa, it is getting very, very nasty and an interview with ron desantis tomorrow. one of the biggest factors in the state on why he still confident that his candidate governor ...

thats what motivates me. >> it would be disastrous for us to decouple from china. >> antony blinken travel to china as chinese counterparts continue to publicly criticize the u.s. >> there is no reason to talk with china right now. >> the congressional baseball game brings together republicans, democrats, and fans of all ages. >> know that by the steube deep into left field and bouncing into the bullpen. >> republicans took it 16-6. >> brian: straight to a fox news alert now. marine ve...

state, i get a subpoena. its no coincidence they indicted me the very same day that it was revealed that the fbi hid explosive evidence that joe biden took a $5 million illegal bribe from ukraine with. next hunter will probably be charged with some very minor offense so that the fbi and doj can pretend that theyre fair, they want to pretend theyre fair, we got hunter. for jaywalking. [laughter] as far as the joke of an indictment, its a horrible thing. its a horrible thing for this cou...

>> the united states of america, versus donald j trump. >> we have one set of laws in this country. and they apply to everyone. >>, tonight the stunning 49-page indictment. 37 criminal counts, secret national security documents, strewn around his country club, on stage in a ballroom, on the floor in the bathroom. a conspiracy to hide them from the feds, and the lies that he told to cover it up. rachel maddow, lawrence odonnell, aubry melbourne, joy, read -- are here for msnbcs special ...

love taking your stuff. they let cities burn and businesses close and demand reparations. the california would require it a crime for employees to stop shoplifters. it is a law that enables criminals while handcuffing their victims. i dont mind the handcuffing if there is roleplaying involved, but not at your job, if youre trying to do your job. i learned that at my job with larry kudlow, he went home with the key. hard to put those pants on. as an employee, you have to take it as peop...