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Even if our hearts are in the right place, even if were doing our best to try to listen lovingly, we cant help but get defensive. when we stay on our own side of the street and talk about what our experience is, you know, it makes me mad when, it hurts my feelings when, i wish that things were different in such and such a way, then its at least a little bit easier for our partners to actually hear us, and their ears dont get quite so clogged up with defensiveness. >> if s your gut feeling based ...