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Everybody welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is thursday, the 17th of september, and heres your quarantine tip of the day if youre planning on finally seeing your older relatives for the first time in months, remember not to eat any of the hard candies they give you. And this is not a covid thing, those things are just gross. Anyway, on tonights show, donald trump divorces half the country. Bill barr says slavery is back, and the coronavirus is getting its own awa...

Last straw . I thought she looked fly. You know who i feel really bad for . Prince charles. Think about it, when he was born, he was set to inherit a massive global empire. By the time he finally takes over, though, hell basically just be ruling seattle but with a fancier accent. At this rate the only caribbean island british royals will be welcome at is jeffrey epsteins. Barbados basically ghosted the queen hello . Hello, barbados, hello . Shhh dont answer the phone, rihanna is our queen now. T...

Intel is the story the margin story, the share loss or more. Looking forward to getting some more detail and clarity from the ceo of intel that will join us in just a few minutes. This is not all bad news there is a beat on the top and bottom lines really the focus is on manufacturing which is, you know, for generations literally it has been one of intells hallmarks and advantages now the manufacturing job not like i have seen ever in the period that i have been covering the company. Yeah, and j...

Yet amidst good news, a harsh reality. Death toll still climbing. Bad news isnt just bad, bad news is actually terrible. Overnight, new guidelines revealed to get workers back on the job. Is that a risky move . Well ask dr. Anthony fauci about that. And this provocative suggestion. I dont think we ever should ever shake hands ever again, to be honest with you. Burnout, senator Bernie Sanders ends his run for the white house. If i believe we had a feasible path to the nomination i would certainly...

Good morning. Good morning everybody. Thank you so much for joining us and good morning to our viewers on cspan im sarah and president of the alliance for Health Policy, and really pleased to be here today with phil pearce and worldwide, and to introduce the admiral brett who is the assistant secretary for Health Opinion hes our 16th assistant secretary for health in the the United States department of health an Human Services and as i understand it its now two Year Anniversary in the role he se...

With lee cowan, we will learn all about it. In this digital age its certainly no surprise your medical records are electronic, but what may be surprising is that itmoe suprising, may be what that Company Looks like and where it is. What do you think epic has done to the local economy here . You mean the Silicon Valley of the midwest . The epic campus and the epic reach of a company aptly named epic, ahead on sunday morning. Pauley we are in conversation this morning with oscarwinning actor Richa...

The sequel to top gun. So what . Heres something i realized over this break. Kids dont know theres money anymore. Theyve seen it, but they dont know what its for, because we buy everything on the phone and the computer. They dont see anything change hands. They just see hands. My daughter is 5 years old, shes playing with my ipad, and these criminals who make these apps for kids. Its not enough you pay for the app. They have addons, too. Its a neverending money hole. If you want the puppy to hav...

Are among the dead. One had been driving for the company for 28 years. The Worlds Largest Technology Conference gets under way this week. The Consumer Electronics show begins tuesday with all sorts of new gadgets. Were already hearing about new televisions, phones, and other smart devices. Those are some of our top stories on this monday, january 6th. Good monday morning, everyone. We begin this half hour with the growing fallout over the deadly u. S. Strike on that top iranian commander. Massiv...

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests keeganmichael key chance the rapper, brockhampton and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1143 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheend applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Thank you very much, i love you. Welcome everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. You made it. [ cheers and applause this is the show to be at. Hey, before we get started, i just want to give a special shout out to all o...

Following an Early Morning shooting. You can see the students are outside of Ridgeway High School now. The two schools are basically next to each other. Police confirm this is not an active shooter situation. Police say just before 9 00 this morning, they received calls of shots fired just outside the Ridgeway High School campus. They say some sort of fight happened at the intersection of ridgeway and morgan street. That is not on campus. Students told police they saw someone enter Ridgeway High...