Page 5 - Michael Che News Today

[ light laughter ] on his final morning in the middle east today, Vice President pence visited the western wall in jerusalem and placed a small white note of prayer in its cracks, right next to trumps. [ light laughter ] according to the new york times, attorney general Jeff Sessions was questioned by special counsel Robert Muellers office last week for several hours. But despite muellers tenacity, sessions said he would not disclose the location of me pot of gold. [ light laughter ] following r...

Jon welcome to the daily show. Welcome to the daily show. I am jon stewart. Thank you very much for coming tonight. cheers and applause hey, guess what . I got big news. This is it. This is the final episode and what a night what a big big night. A short time ago, the first republican president ial debate wrapped up in cleveland. And i think youll all agree with me, it was incredible. laughter applause so. Articulate. And because of that, even though it is our last night on the air i feel a resp...

They didnt join this team to win championships. Or become famous. They joined because there is important work to be done and only some able to do it. They are brighter, better educated, led, and equipped than any team in history. They are doctors lawyers, engineers, technologists and combat troops. All prepared for whatever comes their way. Youll find them where the lights dont flash. And the only contract they sign is with themselves and their country. One day they may be asked what they did to...

Jon josh gad whats up. Do you want to leave the show, man jon oh, you played olaf the snowman in frozen. Thats right, i did. Im a show business god, jon. Jon among eightyearolds. Disney money, bitch cheers and applause wow, wow. Jon. Jon. This is intense. So many so many old faces. Jon rob corddry. I cant even believe youre back here. Come on, give me some sugar. No, no. Jon rob corddry, everybody. I cant im like im like knocked out here. I didnt want to do this. Its very embarrassing. Its just ...

Incidentally is how melania keeps away from him around the white house. [ laughter ] donald donald, i know youre in here [ laughter ] according to the new york times, President Trumps threat to respond to north korea with fire and fury was entirely improvised. Oh, we know. [ laughter ] were all living the ultimate nightmare. Weve been invited to somebodys fouryear long improv show. [ laughter ] okay, to get started, i just need a suggestion of a place you might bomb. [ laughter ] dildo . Come on...

Incidentally is how melania keeps away from him around the white house. [ laughter ] donald donald, i know youre in here [ laughter ] according to the new york times, President Trumps threat to respond to north korea with fire and fury was entirely improvised. Oh, we know. [ laughter ] were all living the ultimate nightmare. Weve been invited to somebodys fouryear long improv show. [ laughter ] okay, to get started, i just need a suggestion of a place you might bomb. [ laughter ] dildo . Come on...

25 miles an hour. Thats part of the problem. Slow moving storms are producing very heavy rainfall. And will take its time moving through the area. Easton, 5 21. 21 minutes, heavy downpours ino easton. A chance that the rest of the area will see storms this afternoon. 76 degrees in philadelphia. Winds out of the southwest at 6 miles an hour. Thats the moisture coming into the area. The chance of storms will be with us this morning. Heavier storms will wait until this afternoon and this evening. T...

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 717 lancaster, p. A. steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, wow, hey great crowd tonight. Welcome, everybody, welcome. Welcome, welcome to the tonight show, baby. Thank you for being here. I appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] heres what people are talking about. Some news out of washington. This morning, President Trump announced a new immigration plan that will favor people who speak english. [ light laught...

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 717 lancaster, p. A. steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, wow, hey great crowd tonight. Welcome, everybody, welcome. Welcome, welcome to the tonight show, baby. Thank you for being here. I appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] heres what people are talking about. Some news out of washington. This morning, President Trump announced a new immigration plan that will favor people who speak english. [ light laught...

Chicken and cow . Chicken and cow chicken and cow use poor dolphin and whale as a scapegoat this is outrage [cows mooing] [bleep] you, cow [angry yelling] [chickens clucking] [bleep] you, chicken [bleep] you, chicken great job, son. Now the japanese are normal like us. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor thank you so much thank you so much welcome, everybody welcome back to you welcome to the daily show. Im...