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Sex-slave from Jabba's palace complains about 'wretched hive of scum and villainy'

The unnamed Princess said: โ€˜I was in the Mos Eisley Cantina, minding my own business, and someone rohypnolled my caipirinha. The next thing, Iโ€™m being shanghaied- while the Modal Nodes play the Girl from Ipanema. Before I know it, Iโ€™m composing holographic ransom pleas, while wearing Danish pastries on the side of my head. โ€˜Annoyingly, Iโ€™m always cleaning out bits of sand from my slave outfit. And I just know they will soon be back - and in greater numbers.โ€™ www.newsbiscuit.com If yo...
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