National Panhandler News Today

What’s happening at the local whine-and-cheese outlets was described perfectly in one of Ernest Hemingway’s early novels: “How did you go bankrupt?' 'Two ways,'” Hemingway’s hero replied. “Gradually, then suddenly.”

Newspapers ain’t what they used to be, but it wasn’t only the Internet, wokeness and the Red Chinese virus that ruined them beyond repair. The Beautiful People started destroying newspapers long before any of the above catastrophes.