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Bathroom at the container store. Im saying he, but that mighh be a woman. No need to profile. All right. Here he is at his most diabolical. Come on. Not the cleaning supplies. Mexican ladies have to touch those. His yellow rain of terror must be stopped. Im counting on you guys to help me. If ou see anyone drinking a suspicious amount of liquid, please email the show. Do not approach the subject. His gladder is extremely full you might be sitting across from the yellow peepee monster as we speak...

Thank you lets do it. Lets make a show. Im trevor noah. We have two guests joining us tonight. First up, new jersey senator and candidate for president of the United States. Cory booker is going to be on the show tonight, everybody cheers and applause then an actor who also wrote and directed a brandnew film, mother brooklyn. Edward norton is going to be here, everybody. cheers and applause also on tonights show, someone snitching on donald trump. Bad guys are now saving saving lives. And why th...

No no . Dad, you like to drink. So have a drink once in awhile. Have two if you devote your whole life to completely avoiding something you like, then that thing still controls your life, and youve never learned any discipline at all. But maybe im just the kind of person who needs to have it all or nothing. Nah, all or nothing is easy, but learning to drink a little bit, responsibly. Thats a disaprin. Disaprin. Come from within. How did i manage to raise such a smart kid . Ive had a great teache...

Movements he said it was in violation of chinese law but the removal happened one day after the communist Party Published an article titled is apple guiding hong kong thugs . To say that they discussed apples impending investment with Consumer Rights protection and fill fulfilling social responsibility. Is that all they talked about . Lets bring in from the wall street journal given what has been happening the last two weeks this smells fishy. It does. Beijing sends the message you better get in...

And thank you for coming out, thank you so much. Wow. So amazing. Our guest tonight,ure guest tonight is an awardwinning author and truly a fantastic writer whose new book is you will kad red at the bone, it is going to be a wonderful conversation. Jacqueline woodson is going to be joining us, everybody. For conversation, you want to stay tuned for that. Also on tonights show, alligators could be joining the Border Patrol, Vladimir Putin exposes a secret and donald trump is getting impeached. ch...

American troops from the region. Because next for you will be back. Bring you the latest global headlines from this morning. Max kaiser a welcome to the kaiser report its you know one of those shows where you need to get your airsickness bag or your vomit. Were about to talk about one of the worst cases of predatory banks toures defrauding and abusing the poor and sick that ive seen in a couple years you know weve introduced you to many instances of bankers preying on folks and but this is this ...

500 million active accounts around the world, now all eyes are on the people behind the app. Two top senators targeting the Chinese Tech Company that owns tik tok. In a letter to the director of national intelligence, asking for an investigation into tik tok and other chinesebased companies warning they may pose a National Security risk. This is a threat to american security. When china has data on 110 million americans, who knows what they do with it. Trevor thats right. Chuck schumer wants to ...

Tyler ninja blevins is joining us on the show, everybody cheers and applause bona fide superstar. Also on toots episode, sugar daddies are going to school, Bernie Sanders beats a heart attack, and donald trump is getting impeached yeah whoo thats right yeah, make noise for congressional procedures laughter lets catch up on todays off with some great news. 2020 hopeful Bernie Sanders says hes feeling good after heart surgery. The have the senator canceling several Campaign Events after the treatm...

Service is watching for potential fire weather in the bay area next week. No plans to shut off the power as of tonight. That might become an option. The longterm solution to cover the wires and increase Vegetation Management is years away. What is the timeline you see for that . Better every year. Probably a 10 year timeline. They are clearly trying to put a bandaid on the wound. I dont know if they put the right bandaid on to solve the problem. Reporter aaron was left in the dark last week he f...

Hey, cartman howre you feeling . Pretty good, except i had the weirdest dream last night. Really, what about . Well, i dreamed that i was a poor vietnamese girl, and you guys made me ride a big scary bull, and then Leonardo Dicaprio gave me a spank for several hours. Hey, how did you guys won those terrence and phillip dolls . Oh, nowhere. Ha, ha, ha. Wait a minute, you guys did make me ride that bull no, cartman, that was just a dream. Bye ming lee. Thanks again. Ha, ha, ha. Son of a bitch capt...