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Trevor thank you for tuning in im trevor noah thank you for coming out its exciting the fourth democratic president del bait ended just moments ago and we are coming to you live, people live right now were live dont believe me . Take a look at this newspaper. See that . Huh . Live laughter now, were going to talk about what happened in the debate, but if you watched, you know that this was not a normal debate. This thing was supersized. There were 12 candidates on stage, an alltime record, which...

No no . Dad, you like to drink. So have a drink once in awhile. Have two if you devote your whole life to completely avoiding something you like, then that thing still controls your life, and youve never learned any discipline at all. But maybe im just the kind of person who needs to have it all or nothing. Nah, all or nothing is easy, but learning to drink a little bit, responsibly. Thats a disaprin. Disaprin. Come from within. How did i manage to raise such a smart kid . Ive had a great teache...

Carol anne, dont go into the light to l [laughing] laugh ahh there now you all see that i am not limited by my size [laughing] l i have proven my point. I my work here is done what was his point . I have no idea. I hav dude, i dont get it. D wait a minwte. Thats it huh . Dont you see, kyle . I dont get it token, i get it now. I dont get it. Ive been trying to say that i understand how you feel, but ill never understand. L nev ill never really get how it feels for a black person to have somebody ...

Tyler ninja blevins is joining us on the show, everybody cheers and applause bona fide superstar. Also on toots episode, sugar daddies are going to school, Bernie Sanders beats a heart attack, and donald trump is getting impeached yeah whoo thats right yeah, make noise for congressional procedures laughter lets catch up on todays off with some great news. 2020 hopeful Bernie Sanders says hes feeling good after heart surgery. The have the senator canceling several Campaign Events after the treatm...

Daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out, as always. Thank you for coming out. Wow im trevor noah. Lets do this thing. Our guest tonight is an upandcoming actor from west philadelphia, born and raised. The one and only will smith is joining us, everybody. cheers and applause so exciting. Were going to be chatting to him about his new movie. Also on tonights show, there are crazy balloons on the loose. America is now under chinese law. And roy wood jr. Find...

Hey, cartman howre you feeling . Pretty good, except i had the weirdest dream last night. Really, what about . Well, i dreamed that i was a poor vietnamese girl, and you guys made me ride a big scary bull, and then Leonardo Dicaprio gave me a spank for several hours. Hey, how did you guys won those terrence and phillip dolls . Oh, nowhere. Ha, ha, ha. Wait a minute, you guys did make me ride that bull no, cartman, that was just a dream. Bye ming lee. Thanks again. Ha, ha, ha. Son of a bitch capt...

The fourth democratic president del bait ended just moments ago and we are coming to you live, people live right now were live dont believe me . Take a look at this newspaper. See that . Huh . Live laughter now, were going to talk about what happened in the debate, but if you watched, you know that this was not a normal debate. This thing was supersized. There were 12 candidates on stage, an alltime record, which is a little weird. Candidates arent supposed to multiply as the debates go on, so, ...

I love you right back. Have a seat and relax. Well put on a fun show for you. Hey, nice to see you guys. Welcome to the tonight show. Thank you for being here [ cheers and applause its sunday night [ cheers and applause i love you i love you yeah, i love you it is sunday night and we are here with a special nfl postgame tonight show. Thats right [ cheers ] and if you are drunk right now, either you tailgated all day or you play for the jets. Okay [ laughter ] tonights big game was between the ch...

Backfires, neil brennan explains how to take america back, and we find out which profession has the most sex. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets begin in the world of man on this running. Most just run so they can brag to their friends about running marathons. Though thats not why i run them. I do it for the tiny cups of water. Anyway, one man ran straight into the record books. In Vienna Austria a runner from kenya made history going the distance for two hours for the first time. 59 minute...

I heard that you were the one responsible for making tad lose the race. Thanks. Yeah, well, he really flipped when he saw these. Uhhhgg. Start the reactor. Talking away i dont know what im to say ill say it anyway todays another day to find you from comedy centrals world news headquarters, this is the daily show with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out wow lets do it lets make a show im trevor noah o...