Page 3 - Noah Jay News Today

- dee: no, charlie-- - dennis: charlie, shut your mouth. why cant you just die and leave your money to your kids like normal parents of america? you sound like your mother. you say that to my face?! excuse me. ( yelling continues ) excuse me! thank you. were looking for the owners. were the owners. im detective tanner. this heres detective altby. gentlemen, were gonna have to talk to you for a moment. about what? you gentlemen know anything about this? uhhh... ohhh... (bleep). december...

headed into the tube making your way from the southeast freeway into the tunnel and back out towards new york avenue. live shot right now of the beltway, traffic running smoothly each way traveling between 95 and 270. no trouble spots there. for those traveling to the west on 66, youre going to find lanes are open. nice easy drive from fair oaks. the hot lane zone has picked up. and now a live shot of traffic across the 395 at 14th street bridge, looks good coming headed towards the ke...

rocks! the rocks! of course, not as on the rocks as it was in the 17th century when your friends the pilgrims outlawed christmas celebrations as a sacrilege and declared gifts and christmas decorations satan cal, levying a five-shilling fine on anyone for saying merry christmas. five shillings. i mean, in those days thats two milk cows and a buckled hat. (laughter) if the pilgrims were alive today, this is how theyd decorate the town square. (laughter) or perhaps youd prefer to celebra...

warm up my family for when i get home. when i get home "dad!" my guest tonight, jonah hill. friends... friends-- and i say that not really being able to see whos watching-- friend, its that time of year again. holiday magic. the twinning of lights, the nothing of eggs and, of course, anger and bitter disappointment. >> rhode island governor lincoln chafee coming under fire after refusing to call the tree in the rhode island statehouse a christmas tree. >> jon: he insists people call it...

- that guy is awesome! - yeah. - take my money. - whats he doing? - oh, dude! aaaaa...you are awesome! you should come to our house and party, and bring eunice and all these awesome chicks. - [laughs] heil, shitler! - cool, cool. definitely. both: shitler party, shitler party, yeah. - wow, i dont know what that means! - nice. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com december 6, 2011. from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart....

see whos watching-- friend, its that time of year again. holiday magic. the twinning of lights, the nothing of eggs and, of course, anger and bitter disappointment. >> rhode island governor lincoln chafee coming under fire after refusing to call the tree in the rhode island statehouse a christmas tree. >> jon: he insists people call it the devils pine! (laughter) satans spruce! a tree bortion. (laughter) its foxs war on christmas! its back, baby. and this years designated krooj, rhode ...