CHICAGO Having failed to find a single person to have a meaningful conversation with, least popular party guest Paul Whitford is really hitting it off with the host’s dog, sources are confirming. “You’re my buddy,” Whitford said while sitting next to the dog on the couch, looking at him at eye level, and petting him…
BINGHAMTON, NY After finishing his second can of Diet Coke of the morning, local man Derek Cowan, who reportedly drinks five of the artificially sweetened soft drinks a day, expressed his sincere hope that researchers are currently working on a cure for whatever terrible disease he’s getting right now. “I’m just going…