Page 3 - Program Ambassador News Today

[ laughter and applause ] you guys have been great. This next joke is gonna be my last joke, and i dont think im giving anything away here when i tell you its amazing. [ laughter ] good news, everybody. My little brother was just awarded his black belt in tae kwon do. [ laughter, cheers and applause ] yeah. Thank you. Hell be happy to hear that. And the entire family was really proud of him, you know . But im a little conflicted about it, cause hes my little brother. I used to be able to just to...

Were gonna get to show. But what really makes it special is the part where one of em takes out a Utility Knife and repeatedly jams it up qaddafis ass. If they can do that to a world leader, i might as well do it to the people who work on my show, in a new segment called qaddafid. Everybody in the writers room. G gaddafi. Gaddafi. I just got gaddafied. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Ah, one of those felt so right. A big thanks to qadaffi for dying so we could do that bit. Send in your own qa...

[cheers and applause] stephen s th captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music[daily show theme song playing] dhawz. [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a very nice program for you tonight. My guest ambassador to to unitee Unite...

You think youre a god . Im the one whos thriving, dennis. I mean, look at me. You look like youre covered in hawaiian punch. Yeah . Yeah. Mm. I am the god of my own universe, charlie. I decide my own reality, and ive decided all of your realities as well. So, you see, i unplugged it. You. Unplugged reality . I dont understand what hes saying. Me neither. I justi deleted all of your characters from the game. What . I erased all your. People. Hhow did you do that . Well, it was easy. You guys all ...

Ooh kyle cease kyle cease kyle cease thank you so much. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Youre a fantastic crowd. Yeah, thats right. Thats right, bitches. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, you guys. Captioning made possible by Comedy Central. Captioned by mccaptioning services www. Mccaption. Com from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music[daily show theme song pla...

Security lockdown in its region of kashmir has been described now in its 6th week the lockdown has virtually cut off residents from the outside world the Indian Government says things are improving to geneticists of this lockdown has been new delhis decision to strip the region off its constitutional autonomy pakistan has condemned the move leading to a wall of words between both nations weve come to that in a bit but 1st heres why the issue is so sensitive now india and pakistan came that entir...

Parklets would you like that . Im just kidding. No i dont. I dont like that idea. I think what weve proposed here today is a good compromise. I think it works well within the concept, and i think that youve said this yourself. These have been very success, awful all over the city in your district and otherwise. And i understand the need to look and see how each individual operators regulating them, i think as they start to have to conform more to the city standards and have to work well with mor...

Ryan Leaf had a stellar career as the quarterback at Washington St University. He was drafted #2 overall in the 1998 NFL Draft behind Payton Manning. Ryan’s career was cut short due to a variety of issues, both on and off the field. Ryan then fell on harder times involving drugs and jail time.

Ryan Leaf's past is always targeted by trolls on the internet, but trolls should beware because Leaf is better at it than they are.

Ryan Leaf's past is always targeted by trolls on the internet, but trolls should beware because Leaf is better at it than they are.