Dear Prudence,
I’ve been with my husband for nearly 30 years. I began therapy after the Brett Kavanaugh hearings because I didn’t understand why I couldn’t stop crying. Turns out my “unpleasant” college experience was actually sexual assault. In therapy, I started to unpack my life, and after about a year I came to the disturbing conclusion that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. That was almost a year ago. My husband, very much to his credit, has stepped up, taken responsibility, and changed his behavior. We are in therapy together, and it has been very productive. The hurtful behaviors have greatly diminished in frequency and severity. They aren’t all gone, but progress is ongoing. Not so long ago, I felt sure we were headed toward a divorce. Now I feel reasonably confident that we will, as a couple, get through this and be better off. I also see my own therapist as well.