Page 37 - Solution Solve News Today

[ laughter and applause ] you guys have been great. This next joke is gonna be my last joke, and i dont think im giving anything away here when i tell you its amazing. [ laughter ] good news, everybody. My little brother was just awarded his black belt in tae kwon do. [ laughter, cheers and applause ] yeah. Thank you. Hell be happy to hear that. And the entire family was really proud of him, you know . But im a little conflicted about it, cause hes my little brother. I used to be able to just to...

Were gonna get to show. But what really makes it special is the part where one of em takes out a Utility Knife and repeatedly jams it up qaddafis ass. If they can do that to a world leader, i might as well do it to the people who work on my show, in a new segment called qaddafid. Everybody in the writers room. G gaddafi. Gaddafi. I just got gaddafied. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Ah, one of those felt so right. A big thanks to qadaffi for dying so we could do that bit. Send in your own qa...

[cheers and applause] stephen s th captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music[daily show theme song playing] dhawz. [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a very nice program for you tonight. My guest ambassador to to unitee Unite...

You think youre a god . Im the one whos thriving, dennis. I mean, look at me. You look like youre covered in hawaiian punch. Yeah . Yeah. Mm. I am the god of my own universe, charlie. I decide my own reality, and ive decided all of your realities as well. So, you see, i unplugged it. You. Unplugged reality . I dont understand what hes saying. Me neither. I justi deleted all of your characters from the game. What . I erased all your. People. Hhow did you do that . Well, it was easy. You guys all ...

Ooh kyle cease kyle cease kyle cease thank you so much. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Youre a fantastic crowd. Yeah, thats right. Thats right, bitches. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, you guys. Captioning made possible by Comedy Central. Captioned by mccaptioning services www. Mccaption. Com from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music[daily show theme song pla...

Hello, everyone. There is the five. That was Dallas Police chief david brown earlier delivering an emotional plea calling for an end to the violent backlash against Law Enforcement in america. His force rocked by a night of terror, a sniper shot 12 officers, killing five and injuring seven. Two civilians were also wounded. Three suspects are in custody but another who police say is the gunman is dead. He was identified as Micah Johnson, a private first class in the army reserve who served in afg...

President trump our two countries must Work Together to protect our people from radical islamic terrorism. And to defeat isis. We also recognize that immigration security is national security. We must protect our citizens from those who seek to spread terrorism, extremism and violence inside our borders. Immigration is a privilege, not a right. And the safety of our citizens must always come first. Without question. Merkel defended her commitment to helping refugees despite the threat posed to h...

Deny it and not to discuss it with russian officials. Our relationship with russia is not different from any other country. This is new day with chris cuomo. All right. We want to welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world. This is new day. Its wednesday, july 5th, 6 00 here in new york and on the starting line, north korea releasing new video appearing to show the successful launch of its first Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. The pentagon confirming it was an icbm. Secret...

Criminals were amongst us. We are americans fighting for you. We are americans fighting that none of this happens to any other american and it shouldnt. And i think everyone of us needs to really do a check on your conscience if your fellow american doesnt mean as much to you as an illegal criminal does. Because the legislation is not about a political party. Its about the safety of an safety of america. We have to forget about partisan politics and vote whats best for every american citizen int...

A speedy exchange of prisoners but civilians of cross the embattled region are freezing cold comfort those christmas after a spike in violence. Along is also the president makes it all far after winning a slim majority carlos pushed along once dialogue with the Spanish Government but Prime Minister mario is playing hardball he says hell meet the leader of the Biggest Party and thats not. Also coming up Human Rights Watch accuses russia and syria of targeting civilians in the air strikes on rebel...