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Run for mayor of dildo. They dont have a mayor. They dont seem to want a mayor because theyre not having an election for mayor. But local polls show me leading 5248. Bad news is i am leading no one by 4 . I dispatched an advance team. They went 4,000 miles and led by close and mosttrusted adviser guillermo, we will hear from him in dildo moments from now. This is the time of year when we offer people walking past our studio the floppertunity to take their clothes off. We have a pool in the back ...

Run for mayor of dildo. They dont have a mayor. They dont seem to want a mayor because theyre not having an election for mayor. But local polls show me leading 5248. Bad news is i am leading no one by 4 . I dispatched an advance team. They went 4,000 miles and led by close and mosttrusted adviser guillermo, we will hear from him in dildo moments from now. This is the time of year when we offer people walking past our studio the floppertunity to take their clothes off. We have a pool in the back ...

Negative view of a tyranny we have now in the name of the majority created a new tyranny of the minority i think thats wrong. I dont think somebody who is religious, forced to efficient a wedding that they disagree with. I dont think somebody who is a woman who is worked really hard for her achievements should be forced to compete against a biological man in a swell competition. I dont think that somebody who is a woman that respects her bodily dignity should be forced to change clothes in a loc...

Correspondent Alexis Mcadams starts us off live tonight from des moines, iowa. Good evening, alexis. Bret, good evening from des moines. We talked to lot of voters state fairgrounds fox power rankings. Amongst all the fried food and all the fun here in iowa. The main course still politics. Tim scott, i think he has got a very positive message i like donald trump. I voted for him. This time around its iffy. Trump is the only one that can get us out of this mess we gotten into. Iowa voters not sur...

Sex couples. But i do have a negative view of a tyranny. We have now in the name of the majority created a new tyranny. And i think thats wrong. I dont think that somebody who is religious should be forced to officiate a wedding they disagree with. I dont think somebody who is a woman who has worked really hard for her achievements should be forced to compete against a biological male in a swim competition. I dont think that somebody who is a woman that respects her bodily autonomy and dignity s...

welcome to our viewers this thursday morning. im christine romans. donald trump giving us a review of what his 2024 campaign will look like and sound like. the 45th president and republican frontrunner for the white house taking questions last night from gop primary voters at a town hall. trump wasted little time in airing his same old grieveness as. he repeated a core lie to kaitlan collins that he won the 2020 election. >> polls show that you were dominating the republican race but a...

millions to save a penny. it sounds like a typical democrat social program. [laughter] but it is good news. still, is it a match for the mob, the mop that disrupted subway service and started all over the death of a violent, mentally ill homeless man. they five of a lunatic on the f train. even though this that guy was a menace, better at impersonating mike marsden michael jackson, they will make him seem like a martyr and race will play a starting role. even though they were teaming u...

[cheers and applause] thank you, thank you for receiving us with open arms. even if they are covered with black sabbath tattoos and number 77 sunscreen. lets cover some news before we go to the monologue. an american who was trapped in ukraine for eight months says he evaded russian troops by prevpretending to be irish. in other words, he was drunk. comedian gallagher sadly has passed away at age 76. his family scheduled a private ceremony. followed by smashing him with a giant hammer....

Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well tonight, and now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news. The white house hosted the 144th annual easter egg roll today, and about 40,000 people were expected to participate. 40,000 but then again, where else can you get free eggs . [ laughter ] House Speaker mike johnson criticized President Biden for designating yesterday transgender day of visibility and said the white house had, quote, betrayed the centra...

Within the ranks. We saw that play out over the past few weeks, with kevin versus steve and steve versus jim. First there was freddy vs. Jason, then alien vs. Predator, then kevin vs. Steve, then steve vs. Jim. But now, get ready for a nightmare like any before. Its tom vs. Austin vs. Byron vs. Kevin vs. Gary vs. Jack vs. Mike vs. Pete vs. Dan. Who will win . Who will lose . And who is this one again . Pete . Maybe dan . Is there a dwight . For the love of god, just pick someone tom vs. Austin v...