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captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night i told you about semigovernor sarah palins new one nation bus tour. her freedom wagon of pac-funded professional tourism. well, its only day four and shes already managed to...

>> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night i told you about semigovernor sarah palins new one nation bus tour. her freedom wagon of pac-funded professional tourism. well, its only day four and shes already managed to do the unthinkable, spend four days on a bus without looking like she spent four days on a bus. heres what i look like aft...

>> jon: thats our show. tomorrow night at 11:00, tim tebow of the denver broncoings is going to be here. here it is, your moment of zen. >> a lot of people are asking why aim using plastic forks and fives that the pizza parlor gave. frankly, it was very comfortable, plus this way you can dig the top of the pizza off, youre not justcaptioning y comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh ready to go. >> stephen: tonighti congressman anthon weiner tweet lewd pictures of his fo...

[audience chanting "stephen"] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast on your life force. welcome to "the report," everybody. good to have you with us. folks, last night i told you about semigovernor sarah palins new one nation bus tour. her freedom wagon of pac-funded professional tourism. well, its only day four and shes already managed to do the unthinkable, spend four days on a bus without looking like she ...

and my guest, robert fm kennedy, jr., is in a new comery about mountaintop mining. hes making a mountain out of a molehill that used to be a mountain. i got rid of my beard, and lets just say the lack of carpet matches the lack of drapes. this is the "the colbert report" captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: folks, i mean this in the nicest possible way, if i were a vampire, i would feast o...