Page 105 - Stan News Today

I was having a lot of turmoil with the church, so i was trying to pull my thoughts together. and i was thinking about the upcoming sermon. and i thought, i dont believe this. and then i thought i dont believe anything. >> did you panic? >> yeah. yeah. >> panic about a god that just wasnt there. so stan turned away from religion. detailing every doubt in his journal for the last 15 years. >> why has he let me wallow in this hell hole? it feels like he abandoned me. >> what is it like for you to p...

>> when im standing up there, i often cannot look them in the eyes. sometimes, i feel like my knees are going to buckle. like i cant even hold myself up. >> he says now he mouths the words, but his thoughts are his own. to stan, god is a product of our culture invented so he has disinvented him. >> we dont talk about that crazy atonement theory that god has his son killed for the salvation of a sinful world that he kind of hates. i have two sons and nobody gets to have them, ever. if there is a ...

I was having a lot of turmoil with the church, so i was trying to pull my thoughts together. and i was thinking about the upcoming sermon. and i thought, i dont believe this. and then i thought i dont believe anything. >> did you panic? >> yeah. yeah. >> panic about a god that just wasnt there. so stan turned away from religion. detailing every doubt in his journal for the last 15 years. >> why has he let me wallow in this hell hole? it feels like he abandoned me. >> what is it like for you to p...

You actually go there. >> night falls. stans psychedelic journey begins. ron blesses the hut using rituals hes learned from local indigenous healers. this is where the ceremony is going to take place. in a little while its going to be pitch black in here, and ron is going to be presiding from his altar. this first part of the ceremony is called the purge. so youll see a lot of basins in front of the chairs. thats because its inevitable that people will start to vomit profusely or even have to de...

The question is, what happens when they get home? >> this is stan. im back from peru. its been a couple months now, and with the family i feel more patient and everythings going good. >> since hes back, i dont see him acting weird. soon as he let that baggage go his weight just went down. i see him transformed. but he still needs to figure out how to integrate that into our family. >> ayahuasca isnt any kind of silver bullet. its not like you can just go and do ayahuasca and your lifes perfect. ...

But then hes got that shadow. i guess some people get more sad than others. >> how bad is his depression? >> sometimes he will just lay in bed like he doesnt want to get up. or he will not go to sleep, and it creates friction and arguments, and you just cant really talk to him. >> when hes in the grip of depression, stan feels the need to isolate. even as his family gathers, he pulls away, cutting himself off from those he loves. how does that make you feel, that he cant have dinner with you and...

Others is steeped in traditions that pay tribute to the plants of the forest and a spirit being called mother ayahuasca. >> thank you for all the plants in the world who give us life, who teach us, who heal us. for without them nothing and no one would live. >> everybody is supposed to have an intention before they go through with this ceremony. do you have one? >> i was thinking about just focusing on my own healing, kind of letting the wisdom of the plant and ron and you know, kind of let that...

Collapse. though id been forewarned, these intense reactions are still disconcerting. [ chanting ] but this is just the beginning. the gringo shaman steps up the healing, blowing smoke onto seekers like stan to drive off negative spirits. these are native traditions repackaged by ron to give his guests an authentic ayahuasca experience. you know when everyone around you is intoxicated or drunk and youre the only one not under the influence? thats kind of how it feels to be in that room. there ar...

A ten-day retreat at el pugero costs about $1,000 and attracts a wide range of seekers from across the globe. a father and daughter from canada, an online entrepreneur, the son of a successful ceo and a professor from belgium. like stan, these travelers are serious. they want healing for mind, body and soul. >> so whats the strongest part in the ayahuasca? is it toward the bark or the whole thing? >> actually, when you harvest the whole plant, best you take the root. the root is the strongest pa...

Of ayahuasca tourism. im on my way to a jungle retreat, one of many run by ex-pat americans. these forests produce many of our modern medicines. and i want to find out if ayahuasca could someday become one of them. this is el pugero, or the purger, a collection of simple huts tucked away in the forest. its amazing to me that there are over 100 of these ayahuasca centers in this part of peru. almost all of them are run by foreigners, and most of them dont have electricity or even running water, b...