Inaugural committee. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, half the country now believes President Trump should be impeached and removed from office unfortunately, the other half believes that Hillary Clinton should [ laughter ] according to sources, President Trump has put his soninlaw, jared kushner, in charge of overseeing border wall construction and thats smart, because if he cant squeeze between those bars, nobody can [ laughter ] First Lady Melania Trump spoke to a group of students today in baltimore about the dangers of drugs. Lets just say, they either hate her or love drugs. [ booing ] [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] if she asks, thats just how americans say we love you. [ laughter ] according to reports, billionaire president ial hopeful Mike Bloomberg has already spent 37 million on television ads. Of course, if tv ads were all you needed, this would be our president. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according to reports, raccoonrelated delays on new york subways doubled t
And featuring the legendary roots crew questlove tarantino steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause you made it. Thank you. Well, guys, lets get to some news thankfully, everyone is fine but last night iran fired 22 missiles at two American Military bases in iraq its pretty scary. One soldier said he hadnt seen a bomb that big since the movie cats. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy things are things are so tense right now, President Trumps skin went from being on orange alert to red alert. Thats right [ laughter ] during the attack, the hashtag iran versus america was trending on twitter. Its good to know that when a war breaks out, we treat it the same way we treat bb8 versus baby yoda. [ laughter ] and this morning, trump gave an address where he talked about the attack but before he even said a word, his
The Trump Administration formally notified the United Nations today that the u. S. Will withdraw from the paris climate agreement. Even more depressing, they did it via oil spill [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according according to the new york times, President Trump rarely tweets in front of others because he does not like the glasses he needs to wear to use his phone. [ laughter ] i also dont like wearing my glasses, said melania [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause thats right President Trump does not like the reading glasses he needs to wear to use his phone. Plus, as a rule, he has to pick on himself nice glasses, four eyes shut up [ laughter ] yesterday was daylight savings day which means six months of freaking out every morning when you see the clock on your stove. Oh, no, no, no [ laughter ] oh, no, im late oh, no, no. [ laughter ] according to reports, white house Senior Adviser Steven Miller got engaged over the weekend. No word on where he got the ring or as he calls it,
[ laughter ] amid speculation that he could become a scapegoat, Rudy Giuliani said in a new interview that he is confident President Trump will remain loyal to him in the impeachment inquiry. Responded trump, you can count on it, randy. [ laughter ] the Trump Administration has proposed a new measure that could nearly double the cost of applying for american citizenship. Man, just be glad people still want to come here. I mean, this is like blockbuster raising its rental fees now. [ laughter ] according [ cheers and applause according to new data, senator Bernie Sanders poll numbers in iowa and New Hampshire have improved since he suffered a heart attack last month, and when he heard that, Steve Bullock started eating fistfuls of bacon. [ laughter and applause a new article has been published detailing how senator Bernie Sanders has been trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. Like, for example, he switched to the 1 . [ laughter and applause thats right, politico published an article yes
Naomi scott, musical guest, earthgang and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1149 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause that is a hot crowd. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, to the tonight show, baby. [ cheers and applause oh, my goodness. You guys, my guest tonight is chris evans. Thats right [ cheers and applause and right now even chris pine, Chris Hemsworth and chris pratt are like, wait, which one is he again . [ light laughter ] i want to say congratulations to the 50,000 runners who finished yesterdays new York City Marathon [ cheers and applause i love the marathon. Its the one day of year you can rub vaseline on your nipples in public and not get arrested [ laughter ] i cant imagine the excitement of finishing a marathon, for real i mean i get excited when im out running errands and i accidentally get 10,000 steps. Im like, oh, my. Yes [ laughter ] im sore oh, my. And the men and womens marathon